Guest Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Hello. I've debated posting here because my situation is so confusing. I really need some advice to sort things out. Here goes: My MM separated from his wife 6 months before he and I got involved. He and I have now been together for 9 months. He says he loves me and wants to be with me. I have a son from a previous relationship that my MM says he wants to be a father to. We live in different cities but spend almost every weekend together and talk on the phone 7-8 times a day. He says he is moving on with his life as far as ending his marriage but that he hasn't been able to file for divorce because it's hard. He says he knows his marriage is over and that he and his W are just not compatible together. He says he wants to make the divorce as easy as possible on her. He says he feels guilty that she is alone and depressed. He says they have talked several times about filing the paperwork. He and I went NC for a while to let him sort things out to be clear on what he wants. After a short time he came back to me and said he was ready to file the paperwork and get the divorce behind him so that he and I could move on with our life. He told his W he wanted to file the paperwork and then a few days later she asked him not to file because it was just too hard. He agreed to wait a few weeks and for them to have NC. He says he is going to contact her soon and tell her he wants to file the paperwork. My problem is that I feel like I am trying to balance on a tightrope. Part of the time I want to believe in him 100% and wait for him to file the paperwork because of all the things he has said and done to show me he loves me. Then the other part tells me to end this "waiting game". Every day that goes by is another day that I am more and more lost as to what to do. I love him and I want to spend my life with him but I am so tired of the W getting to drag this out. Every time he gets to the point where he tells her that they need to get a divorce she initially agrees and then a few days later throws a tantrum that she's not ready or it's to hard or whatever the excuse of the day is and then he backs off. He says that he loves her and doesn't want to hurt her and that I should just be patient until all of this is over. I've asked him to get counseling to help himself. He has been going for about a month and a half now. I've seen some positive changes in him already as far as how he is looking at this situation but I'm still stuck in limbo. We have several obligations together coming up the next few months and I'm afraid to go NC with him prior to that and then miss or be miserable at these events. What do I do?
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