Ophelia78 Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 A former friend of mine Sara married one of my husband's friends George a couple of years ago. Hubby and I fixed them up and they started chatting online. She then moved here to the UK (from the states) to be with him. They are now married and live not far from us. She has not worked one day since their marriage (since she moved to the UK in fact). No applications. No training. No college. No night classes. No volunteer work. No socialising. Nothing. George has been working upwards of 60 and 70 hour weeks and it was making him so stressed and ill that now he works from home - but still extremely long hours. His family (who hubby and I are friends with) never see him anymore. He doesn't socialise with any friends. And now that he works from home he doesn't even see work colleagues any more. They just stay in their house all the time. Sara is bipolar though (I believe) it is under control through medication. They are trying for a child but have been unsuccessful for over a year now (and have had one miscarriage). If they do have a child, George will have to do most of the nighttime care because Sara must go to sleep at fixed times due to her bipolar and cannot have a chaotic schedule as many new mothers do. (This would be in addition to a full time job and many hours of overtime.) Now they are planning to move back to the US and live with her parents for awhile until they can buy a house. I realise this is none of our business but we are still friends with them (though now quite loosely) and best friends with George's brother and his wife. We are, to be frank, very worried about George's physical and mental health. He is only in his early 30s but he is frequently ill and seems to be working himself to death. He also used to be very anti-medication but is now on antidepressants. He used to be very close to his family but now never sees them, or us, even though we used to be friends (we lived with him at one point and they were the witnesses at our wedding). Now he is going to isolate and stress himself even further by selling all his possessions including his house and moving to an unfamiliar country (the first time he went he told his family he hated it), living with his inlaws, and god forbid having a child for whom he will have to do a very large portion of the child care whilst his wife does nothing. Please note I am not exaggerating. This woman does NOTHING all day. They have a very messy house and she has piled on the weight from watching telly all day and eating junk. Now all she does is complain about not being able to get pregnant (which may be a blessing in disguise). I also can't help but feel a bit responsible for all the misery in this relationship (every time we see them together we can tell they are unhappy) as hubby and I fixed them up. I knew Sara was no go-getter but she was nothing like this when she was single - she had a job and travelled and went out with friends. Now she won't even attend a once-a-week dance class with me, which happens to be taught by her mother in law. Do you think they'll make it? I think George is one of those people who will go to any length to pretend everything is 'fine' even when he is dying inside! In fact one of the reasons he works such long hours is that he lets his bosses walk all over him, just as he lets Sara walk all over him. Maybe he deserves this misery? I don't know what to think. Anyone been in a similar situation?
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