Guest Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 I recently moved in with my boyfriend of 8 months and for some reason he feels like I should be the one to do all the work around the house. I'm sorry but I work 30 hours a week and go to school part time so the last thing I feel like doing is being someone's servant or mother. I have no problem picking up after myself and he should do the same. If I bug him enough about it he will "help" me take out the trash or something easy like that. His best friend has even told me that he is that way because a women should be the one doing the cooking and cleaning. Is there anyway we can actually work this out or should I just dump this guy and move on? I am hoping we can work this out because I do love him I just refuse to be a cooking and cleaning little slave.
Guest Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 I guess I should add to this that I am paying half the bills so its not like he is supporting me while I go to school or anything. I just feel like if we split the bills 50/50 we should split the housework that way as well.
tikigods Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Dont do anything in the house. Once the dishes and things start piling up he might just have to start doing things himself
Sally00 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Tell him exactly how you feel about all this... everything you just posted.
Guest also Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Tell him he's a grownup and should not need a 'mommy' to pick up after him, etc. Tell him that you expect him to behave like an adult who can take care of himself and not like a helpless child. Tell him to man up, dammit!
lovestruck234 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 I have the same sort of bf. I am led to belive the reason he acts this way is because of his mother. She does EVERYTHING for him. And I mean, EVERYTHING for him. Makes his bed, cooks his dinner every night, makes his lunch everyday for work, picks up his dirty clothes off his floor, cleans his flat, (He lives in a flat that is down the back of their house), cleans his car, does EVERYTHING for him. To be honest...it makes me sick to my stomach. So all of those things rub off onto him and then he will load them onto me. Ha...uh-uh.....not happening. I am NO slave to ANYBODY. I tell him over and over and over that I'm not like that. Don't get me wrong, I have no issues with making dinner or doing a bit of laundry, but what I DO have an issue with is him not helping. He is old-fashioned like this cos I believe it's a monkey see, monkey do sort of situation. His parents are like this, so he wants to take up after them. He orders me to do alot of things and I tell him flat out that I'm not his slave. That he can start doing things for himself. He gets the sh*ts then, but that's not my problem. It's going to be sad to see how he will handle the real world when he EVENTUALLY leaves home....he'll probably be about 30 before he even thinks about leaving home... He will never change is all I'm going to say. I know my bf will never change his ways, but that doesn't mean I have to give in if that's the case. If he orders me to pick up after him, I tell him to do it himself. I'm nobody's fool. And it doesn't matter HOW much I am in love with this guy....no amount of love will lead me to be a doormat. Be assertive. Keep telling him over and over and over. Perseverance. Go about your own business, clean up after YOURself, do things to help around the house and if he complains you're not doing enough, tell him you've done your fair share. Like it or lump it. My bf is very much girls should be inside cooking and cleaning and guys should be outside mowing the lawns. He's that type. Modern society overules him there. I am NOT like that. I have a life too and until he realises that, I'll just keep going the way I'm going. Men tend to go for women who are like they're mother in alot of cases. This could be a reason behind your bf's behaviour. What's his mum like as far as looking after him etc?
Flicker Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 What did he do before you came along? If he doesn't know how to look after himself then it might have to be you that teaches him. If he does know how to look after himself and just won't, then he's a jerk.
superconductor Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 I am NO slave to ANYBODY. Damn. Another fine fantasy all shot to hell.
lovestruck234 Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Damn. Another fine fantasy all shot to hell. You better believe it!
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