BitterSweet4 Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 I know he wasnt just trying to get into my pants he was nervous at first. He has never had a sexual relationship with anybody else and he is 17. I have known him since he was 15. We were best friends for about a year before we started dating and now we have been dating for a year. We waited 7 months to make the decision. Unfortunatly though he has the idea that he doesn't know what the future will be like or if he has me in it, but he knows his mom will be in it all the way to support him. I should realize that we probably won't be together forever but i would never no because his mom would be some fumed she wouldnt give us a chance. I'm not going to throw my life out for a guy but he is such a big part of my life. We have been on vacations together, and have met each others whole extended family. We have so many memories. I have always been outgoing and rebellious, going out and partying at 14, yeah i know it was horrible, but he is so against smoking and drinking he convinced me that i needed to stop. At firstI didn't care because i was having fun with my friends but now i yell at all the people who make the same stupid decisions i did. It would be so hard to find someone else who understands me and helps me through rough times like he does. I don't care that im only 15 and turning 16 in a month!! I could care less about age i think my maturity level speaks a lot louder then age. and i know everybody is probably saying yeah right she doesn't know anything about the real word. But I don't want to loose him!!!!!! It's breaking my heart that this is probably the end and i have no way to get myself out.
fishtaco Posted September 28, 2006 Posted September 28, 2006 Broken heart feels worse than death. Been there done that. Every day I woke up and the first thought that came into my mind was to beg someone to put a bullet through my head. And then three months later... I was okay. Thinking back, that chick was lame too, she was even flat chested, I was such an idiot. I wish I could go back in time and slap some sense into myself. Your guy is better, so at least you won't feel like an idiot, but this will pass. One day you'll wake up, and everything will be alright. For you, first you've had happy memories. That's the most important, and fits your handle... bitter sweet. I have a lot of these good memories that I treasure. A lot of times we take the good memories from the past, and try to recreate them. That never works. Memories are for the past, you make new and different ones that you'll treasure in the future. Second, you're only 15. Go to college, get a job, when you're say 22 years old, who's to say you both won't be single and you can't get back together? Plus after you both have had some relationships under your belt, you'd be better at handling the ups and downs. Relationships aren't all fun and games. But the fact is, if you never see this boy ever again, it will have little impact on your life. If you screw around now and pop out a baby or don't finish school, that WILL drag you down. I have friends my age (30's) that are struggling to finish school. They work, then go to school, then study. I work, then I go work out, then I party. Because I got my degree, after work, it's my time. Same thing with kids... my single with kids friends, every other weekend, they can't go out (some child custody thing). Thursday nights while I'm out, they're babysittng. My bud calls on a random Wednesday night, I go drink beers with him at the drop of a hat. Can't do that if you have kids.
BenefitOfTheDoubt Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 Don't quit working..... save every dime you can. Start looking at grant money and scholarships for college now. Keep your grades up. Stay at home as long as you can.... save your money..... bury it in the yard if you have to. Unfortunatley for you to come out ahead you are going to have to play the game by their rules until you build a solid foundation for yourself to get the hell out. Keep in mind that you are not in a healthy home and that it is not your fault. Think damn hard about decisions you make about your life now that will effect your future. I could not agree with these statements more! Things sound awful at home, and it sounds like your parents are acting out a lot of their drama through your life. It's not fair, but it's what you're up against right now. The good news is that it's not too long till you can head off to college. Save every dime you're making right now. New York has an excellent state college system that's remarkably affordable for in-state residents. And yes, start researching and talking to your guidance councelors right now about scholarships and grants. If you're doing near as well in school as you say you are (and considering how well your write, I absolutely believe that you're doing well in school!) you might be able to pay for a good amount of your college through scholarships and grants. I'm sorry I don't have better advice for how to deal with your parents and what to do about your boyfriend. Do try to hang in there though. I worked at Covenant House in NYC for a couple years. Covenant House is a homeless shelter for kids aged 18-21, and I was surprised when I started working there how many kids were just regular kids who got in over their heads. I thought they were going to be drug addicts and gang kids, but yeah, for the most part, they were just unlucky versions of me. Living costs a lot more than you realize it does, and roommates bring lots of unanticipated problems (they're messy, or they don't pay their share of the bills, or you don't get along, or they always have their friends and boyfriends over, or they're loud when you're trying to sleep or study, or they eat your food ... the list is almost endless)!!! Try your best to hang in there at home till you go away to college, and in the meantime, try to find an adult you trust to help you out as much as possible. Good luck to you!
narcist_ave Posted September 29, 2006 Posted September 29, 2006 I think its terrible of your mother to lay such a guilt trip on you! I have been in this situation. When I was 14 I dated a 19 yr old which my aprents dsagreed on (<-- understanable..) anyway, they made me move like an hour away with my uncle and i never got to see my first love again. its hard to be seperated and i do not agree with that kind of parenting. To be honest you sound just like me! If you and your bf truly love eachother, things will eventually work out. My advice would be remain with ur boyfriend as you are now, let things at home simmer down. In a situation like this it seems all you can do is wait it out. at 15 living at home you have really no control over this, as sad as that is I deffinatly don't want to move out to party, i don't party. But i don't want to move away from somewhere that i have lived my entire life. I make about $600 a month and i would have 2 roomates one is aged 18 and her older sister who is 21. I really would rather stay at home, but if i have to move i won't go First, room mates, no matter how close you are, are very undepenable. $600 a month is not even going to barely cover your rent, none the less feed you! Stay at home girl, and take advantage of the financial security ofbeing at home. You need this time to better yourself for the future.
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