Guest Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 ok.. i want to know from you abt my situation. Not a biggie. ok.. here it is. I have a girl friend. She is sweet , pretty, friendly , sporty and active person. She is happy person , which i like that very much.. n she almost never complain over things and has a bunch of friends arround her. Her colleagues loves her and her friends love her. She is very independent , even sometimes i think she doesnt need me at all. i think it would be easy for her just to find other guy because many guys after her. And.. she super seldom contact me... sometimes i dont hear anything from her for 3 days. When i called her, sometimes i couldnt get her. We are living in the same town, but i do travel a lot because of my job. but i always call her when i am out of town. And texted her tell her that i miss her. What she did usually is only texted which is only 1 msg for one day.. or even ..1 msg for 3 days or even more. No call just sms. Sometimes i do wonder whether she really has feeling for me. She usually texted me very short and said " i miss you " . Thats all. But when i meet her she is so sweet to me. i know it sounds stupid n childish.. but ..i always the one who starts the calling and many times i couldnt get her. Only by then she called me back. And when she called it is always very short and very general topic , as "how are you ?". I did share my thougts , ideas because i want to communicate with her. I love her .i said to her that everytime she called me back, i am really happy but.. it seems that she doesnt get it and still so cold. every time i ask her out, it is always my idea. Is it normal ?anybody can explain why she acts this way ?
Hitman10000 Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 "She's not into you that much" or "Dude, she only sees you as a friend now" or "Your mom probably calls you more than she does"
Guest Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 How long have ya'll been together.... nearly 4 months. If she is not that into me , why dont just tell me straight away and not acting this way. Why girls do that ?
gfto Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 nearly 4 months. If she is not that into me , why dont just tell me straight away? Women NEVER tell you straight up that they aren't into you. It's up to you, the guy, the figure out for yourself when her interest level in you has hit that "point of no return." That being said, you haven't told us much about what happens when the two of you are together. Does she laugh at your jokes? Does she reach for your hand when you're walking somewhere? And, has she specifically asked you to be exclusive with her? Something is telling me that she really isn't your girlfriend, and that you just assumed that she was. big mistake.
mac007 Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 She doesn't want to be tied down. She wants her options open. I don't think she is ready for a commitment to anybody.
Sally00 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 nearly 4 months. If she is not that into me , why dont just tell me straight away and not acting this way. Why girls do that ? Wow. That's what boys do. I've ALWAYS had that problem with guys in the past. Wayyy too many times. They just plain start ignoring me, ditch me, give me mixed signals, etc. I don't like playing games.... By her actions, she's not that into you. Talk to her about this. If she's not going to do anything about it, move on.
Hitman10000 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Wow. That's what boys do. I've ALWAYS had that problem with guys in the past. Wayyy too many times. They just plain start ignoring me, ditch me, give me mixed signals, etc. I don't like playing games.... By her actions, she's not that into you. Talk to her about this. If she's not going to do anything about it, move on. Yeah I do this crap too. I ignore/ditch the girl without saying anything, usually I do this to girls who I suddenly lose attractive for or I've come to terms that she isn't that attracted to me and is just stringing along for the "fun" aspects of an empty relationship or that I come to a conclusion that I made a big fkkn mistake. I wouldn't call it a games, I would call it "Conflict Avoidance."
Guest Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Women NEVER tell you straight up that they aren't into you. It's up to you, the guy, the figure out for yourself when her interest level in you has hit that "point of no return." That being said, you haven't told us much about what happens when the two of you are together. Does she laugh at your jokes? Does she reach for your hand when you're walking somewhere? And, has she specifically asked you to be exclusive with her? Something is telling me that she really isn't your girlfriend, and that you just assumed that she was. big mistake. When we are going out , she hold my hand and when we had dinner, she will spoon feed me. I did ask her to be my girlfriend and she accepted it . She told me that she loves me . She called me "baby " , she ever wrote an email to me " dear , i cant promise you much , but i want you to know that you are important for me. " is this kind of email is for your best friend ? by the way, she called me yesterday and asked me how i am doing and she wants to see me . so what is this ?
Hitman10000 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 When we are going out , she hold my hand and when we had dinner, she will spoon feed me. I did ask her to be my girlfriend and she accepted it . She told me that she loves me . She called me "baby " , she ever wrote an email to me " dear , i cant promise you much , but i want you to know that you are important for me. " is this kind of email is for your best friend ? by the way, she called me yesterday and asked me how i am doing and she wants to see me . so what is this ? Oh man, you're on the way to breakup ville, brace for impact! "I can't promise you much, but I want to know you are important for me" in womanese that means "I don't think of you much" When a woman wants to see you , in womanese that means "I want to change the relationship status" and it never means anything good.
Walk Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Oh man, you're on the way to breakup ville, brace for impact! "I can't promise you much, but I want to know you are important for me" in womanese that means "I don't think of you much" When a woman wants to see you , in womanese that means "I want to change the relationship status" and it never means anything good. Or the flip side is she's incredibly busy with work, family obligations, etc. Or she feels she can't commit any more than she has because of bad baggage from past relationships? Not necessarily that she wants to drop you.. but potentially scared of anything more intimate or closer. She wants to keep you at arms length. I think she would have to fear losing you, more than she fears being close to you, in order to get any more from her than you are getting. Or.. if she doesnt' fear losing you, and doesn't react at all by you pulling away.. then you'd have your answer too. Tell her you want more.. and if she doesnt' step up her effort, then pull way back. If she really does want you in her life, then she'll make more of an effort to involve you in it. Otherwise, she's just stringing you along as an ego support.
mac007 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 i just got out of a relationship like this. if you want to keep her, make sure you are on the same page. She maybe the type of person that lives one day at a time. does she say white lies to you? have you really caught her saying things that don't add up, if you have this gut feeling. She may be around you because you are a genuine good person. This is great. She doesn't find this in any people. Don't pressure her into committment. Just be a friend to her, and get the idea out of you head that she is your girlfirend. just talk to her like you just met her.
Sally00 Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Yeah I do this crap too. I ignore/ditch the girl without saying anything, usually I do this to girls who I suddenly lose attractive for or I've come to terms that she isn't that attracted to me and is just stringing along for the "fun" aspects of an empty relationship or that I come to a conclusion that I made a big fkkn mistake. I wouldn't call it a games, I would call it "Conflict Avoidance." GOSH then just be DIRECT, not inconsiderate.
Guest Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Or the flip side is she's incredibly busy with work, family obligations, etc. Or she feels she can't commit any more than she has because of bad baggage from past relationships? Not necessarily that she wants to drop you.. but potentially scared of anything more intimate or closer. She wants to keep you at arms length. I think she would have to fear losing you, more than she fears being close to you, in order to get any more from her than you are getting. Or.. if she doesnt' fear losing you, and doesn't react at all by you pulling away.. then you'd have your answer too. Tell her you want more.. and if she doesnt' step up her effort, then pull way back. If she really does want you in her life, then she'll make more of an effort to involve you in it. Otherwise, she's just stringing you along as an ego support. Hi Hitman10000 , thanks for your feedback. it sounds like my relationship with her is gonna end soon. i will be prepared for it even though i hate to do this. is there any way i can do to keep her ? Walk, thanks too for your feedback. Yes she is damn busy , sometimes when i called her at 10 pm plus , she is still in the office and when we went out for dinner , she asked to go home early because she had presentation in the early morning , or something like that. She loves her job so much. she is just so different and i like her most among all girls that i ever known. bad baggage from the past? well, she ever mentioned it that she was badly affected from her last break up. But i dont know how much that incident affects her now. Sometimes i find it is easy for people to misunderstand her and i dont think i really understand her. Mac07 , so far that i know she didnt tell lie to me. She is very direct and outspoken person. She doesnt like it , she will say it and she doesnt give a sh*t . she did that to me too. well, should i just do NC now , and she how she reacts ? or talk to her...? what would be the best to keep her ? if she is a commitment phobic, how to deal with it ?
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