agoraphobia Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Just a few words of support to those fresh off a break up that it will pass and you will feel better no matter how inconcievable that may be right now. It's been 4 months for me and it has gotten significantly tolerable. When it first happened, I lost my friend, my activity partner, my love. I lost the one person who knew me. I felt so lost, so alone, couldn't stop crying. I had absolutely no incentive to go out, meet people, or even hang out with my old friends. I just shut down completely. I begged, cyber-stalked him(myspace), tried to make him jealous, got angry, depressed, sad, you name it. The urge to hold on was fierce. I went through all the motions. "Will I get a second chance? I can't let him go, maybe If I give him space or stick to NC or text him or write him a long letter" blah blah blah But finally it dawned on me that I was trying to control something that is totally beyond my control, like trying to control the weather. I was trying to hold on to the wind. You can't manipulate love, it happens on its own, you can't be the pilot, you have to sit back and enjoy the ride. So what I did was just to release and let go. My mind, my heart, my head and my soul released him, released us. It was after that I got the strength to pick myself up from the depth of depression and move on. It occured to me that I dwelled on the breakup because I had a lot of time on my hands to dwell on the breakup. How can you stop yourself from being depressed when all you do is sit in a dark room alone all day everyday? I got busy, took on a new job, made new friends, participated in new activities , mostly by my lonesome but it didn't bother me one bit. Afterall, I had a life before my ex, why won't I have one after him?. Eventually, the busier I became, the farther thoughts of the ex were from my mind. I have things to do, people to see, places to go, I don't have time to be brooding about the ex. So take heart folks, it does and will get better.
someone77 Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Thank you. That is most helpful right now. I am trying to do all of those things. It's only been a few weeks, so it's still pretty raw. Mostly it's just so weird to go from talking to somebody every day for three years to not at all. So strange. But that's for the uplifting message.
funkify Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 Thank you also from me. I broke up with my bf 4 days ago and I was numb, didn't even cry, up until today. I let it all out and felt the real loss, then I remembered this forum and got on and saw your message. It's encouraging to hear about other people in the situation and how they've gotten over it. The heart is much stronger than we think. No matter how inconceivable happiness without our partner can be, we will meet someone else and then wonder why we ached so much in the first place. Thanks
tearful_soul22 Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 Thanks for sharing. It's truly appreciated!!
Josalina Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 thanku, i lost my ex under 2 weeks ago it was a long relationship and from spending years with my soul mate to nothing is very hard. all i want is him but i hope i move on like you have. thanks
Recommended Posts