Guest Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 OK I've been in this relationship fo close to two years. I have always known he was married, and I stayed. He talked about leaving, but I never pushed. We have spent nights and days together and I believe that it is something missing in the marriage, that's why he loves me. But, they recently had a falling out about a message he received on his phone. He left. He went back. They have 2 kids, a house you know, the goods. I asked hime two questions. Why didn't he stay with me the night before. He answered that he had to go and p/u the kids. I asked why didn't he leave. He asked if that's what I wanted him to do. A question he basically knew the answer to. I haven't spoke to him since. He called today and I made up an excuse to get off the phone. He asked if I was mad because of he conversation we had. I said there were only two questions. Upside, I met a guy who wants me to be his number 1. I'm not trying to fall into the grass is greener pit, but he's great. I told him about my MM because I didn't want him to think he was a replacement or rebound. My MM doesn't know about him, and I don't have to wait until he has free time to get hugs and he always answers my calls. Not blaming anyone for this mess I'm in. Just trying to get out of it. Any suggestions--other than just dump him and block your calls, I need something simple and unchaotic. Like I said I've been plan B for almost two years.
Jane Doe Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Any suggestions--other than just dump him and block your calls, I need something simple and unchaotic. LOL....you want something simple and unchaotic, yet you've been on this rollercoaster for 2 years now. You've got an opportunity for a stable bonadide relationship. Take it. This married guy is never going to leave his wife. It's been 2 years. If he was going to, he would have by now.
serial muse Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Not blaming anyone for this mess I'm in. Just trying to get out of it. Any suggestions--other than just dump him and block your calls, I need something simple and unchaotic. but ending it and blocking his calls is simple and unchaotic. and plus, this other guy sounds great! what's still tying you to this MM, especially when you have something more fulfilling to look forward to?
calalily Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 I would dump him and block his calls - unless you're looking to the ultimate stupidity and cheating on Mr. Wonderful with MM, or some scheme to make MM jealous. What is the problem with just ending it - it's not like you have to divide your stuff or work out custody with the kids. Just be honest, say I'm sorry, my heart's not in this anymore, please, don't call me and leave it at that.
Guest Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Just be honest, say I'm sorry, my heart's not in this anymore, please, don't call me and leave it at that. I absolutely love this. That's how I feel, my heart's not in it. Calalily, you are right on with this. Thank you. Jane Doe, I guess the ride's over and the park's closing, huh? LOL Serial, blocking his calls would prompt him to be at my house asking why. It has been two years, he knows more than enough info to find me if he chooses. I liked all your answers, but Calalily( which are my fav flowers!) gets the oreo cookie.
justice Posted September 16, 2006 Posted September 16, 2006 Guest; My advice to you would be to calmly explain to him that you need something more than what he has been providing. Something that you have given him the chance to give and he has failed to do so. Then I would go NC with him and firmly put him in the past and explore the new relationship beginning with the new guy. Don't you owe it to yourself to be treated better? With your om being married with kids, it will never be over with for him. The W will always hold part of him with her whether or not he admits it. Good luck. Hope this helps.
scaredinlove Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 OK I've been in this relationship fo close to two years. I have always known he was married, and I stayed. He talked about leaving, but I never pushed. We have spent nights and days together and I believe that it is something missing in the marriage, that's why he loves me. But, they recently had a falling out about a message he received on his phone. He left. He went back. They have 2 kids, a house you know, the goods. I asked hime two questions. Why didn't he stay with me the night before. He answered that he had to go and p/u the kids. I asked why didn't he leave. He asked if that's what I wanted him to do. A question he basically knew the answer to. I haven't spoke to him since. He called today and I made up an excuse to get off the phone. He asked if I was mad because of he conversation we had. I said there were only two questions. Upside, I met a guy who wants me to be his number 1. I'm not trying to fall into the grass is greener pit, but he's great. I told him about my MM because I didn't want him to think he was a replacement or rebound. My MM doesn't know about him, and I don't have to wait until he has free time to get hugs and he always answers my calls. Not blaming anyone for this mess I'm in. Just trying to get out of it. Any suggestions--other than just dump him and block your calls, I need something simple and unchaotic. Like I said I've been plan B for almost two years. Go for the new guy, don't waste another second with the MM.That is your chance to have a normal fullfilling reletionship.
Seen_It_All Posted September 17, 2006 Posted September 17, 2006 Why don't you tell him you've found your self-respect and will no longer lower yourself to being his dirty little secret? You might also tell him that there's no honor in his lying and sneaking around and that going forward, you have chosen to only surround yourself with people of integrity and character - not liars and deceivers.
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