Rooster_DAR Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 I have been going through exactly the same thing over the last month or so.We were together for a long time,he was living with me and things were going great then all of a sudden he says he wants to move back to his friends house......mind you I waited on this guy hand and foot and things seemed to be fine between us,still making love right up to the day he left!. His excuse has also been depression and I saw him go downhill over the weeks he moved back to his friends and tried to help him but he would not let me in.He closed himself off from me and even wouldn't let me take him to the Doctors...I started to feel so unwanted by him but I persisted to let him know I was there for him,loved him if I could do anything to help then call on me. What more can you do for a person that just shuts you out like this and refuses anything from you? I love mine so dearly and I know he loves me but one day he was here the next he had left State....YES...he didn't even tell me he was leaving,he asked me to give him a few days as he was vey depressed and needed to sort himself out and then a friend of his tells me he went to another city in another State!I never even got to say goodbye and I feel there is no closure to our relationship. After I tried contacting him with SMS and calls for a week he FINALLY called me and said he wants to be friends,that we had no future together because of his severe depression,that he was concerned about me and wanted me to take care of myself and my family.I sobbed and told him "but I love you and want to help you"...I could hear him choking back the tears and when I asked him if he loved me he went around it and would not tell me but I insisted and he told me when he met me he never planned to fall inlove with me...it just happened. I am heartbroken as well and would have given this guy the world but what do0 you do when they close the door? I was sending him inspirational messages daily but have now given up and believe if he wants me,he will contact me but I don't think I will hold my breath waiting on that one. I think it's time to say goodbye,burn those treasures and get on with my life Often depression is another excuse to leave the relationship without doing the dirty work. I just went through the exact same thing with my fiance of 5 years. She came home from working out of town for several months, said she was depressed, pulled away, and ultimately said she could'nt be in this relationship anymore. Seems to be happening everywher now days.
re-searching Posted September 24, 2006 Posted September 24, 2006 Also, bringing up marriage was another string along tactic. My ex alluded to this right before telling me he was moving away. This was a way to string me along in case things didn't work out where he was going. This is bs and if you respect yourself, don't consider it reality. It's deceptive. It's a "maybe I'll marry you if you just let me get my reassurance until I figure out if I really want to be with you." Daphne is right about being stringed along. He believes he should marry you because he knows you ARE the one that put him where is now. I would guess his heart may being saying something different or he would be doing it & not talking about it. Be prepared to move on with your life. Your story conjured up an old song, I learned from my mother, in my mind. If you care to know, here it is: http://www.contemplator.com/america/marryme.html
Author Olena Posted September 24, 2006 Author Posted September 24, 2006 Hi there, I read the song from the link that you posted. In a way you are right in saying that he may feel oblidged to marry me because I helped him get where he is, whilst his heart might be syaing something different. I sense that he loves me, but only as a person. He is not in love with me as a woman and he may never see me in such a way. I have been very upset about the whole story, that I can no longer try to hold on someone who is slipping through my hands. I refuse however to accuse him of being a bad person and of having 'used me' to sort his life out, as I know this man's heart. Perhaps he is at a point in his life that he needs to focus on him self, and there is simply no room for me any more. Or perhaps even him self, he does not fully know what the problem is...What ever his reasons are, I will not stick around to solve yet another problem.. I will do the descent thing once I feel a bit more secure with my new job and move out. I will keep my head up as I know that I have nothing to be ashamed of,since I have been sincere and giving to him. I will not lose my dignity by chasing a man who wants to be alone. In the end of the day, if he has something to tell me, then he will know how to find me. I am confident however, that this is the one man, who will never forgive me - no matter who he ends up with- but in a way, I do prefer him to forget me, rather than remember me as the woman who loved him. Olena
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