Alcumena Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Hi all! I really need some help on this. There is this guy with whom I first had lunch and spent a nice afternoon. Next time, he invited me over to his place in the evening, introduced me to his roommate, prepared food for the three of us and we watched a movie. A couple of days later we had coffee. Then, the last time we got together was when I invited him over for tea and then after a few hours he suggested we go out to a bar together (we did). These get-togethers happened within the last two weeks. Now, I am going to see him again this Fri evening, we didn't specify our plans yet. Although I am attracted to him, I feel more like we are just hanging out together (which is OK, too, I like spending time with him). There is no space barrier between us, but we just hug when we meet and part. When I mentioned all this to my friend, she insisted that this is more than just hanging out. What do you think?
MsArtful Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 It sounds like more than hanging out to me.
BlueEyedGirl Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 You are not dating yet but there is a huge chance you could be soon. Just kiss him
Sally00 Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 If it's just the two of you, yup... dating.
Author Alcumena Posted September 15, 2006 Author Posted September 15, 2006 Thanks for the input !!! Hmm.. maybe I should just go ahead and kiss him. I'm not one of the "play it safe" people, but there is usually this gut feeling which "guides" me. This time I seem not to be able to tell what's going on.
Lisa32 Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Welcome to a healthy relationship. This is how a relationship should start. It shouldn't start out with a big explosion, afterall you don't know each other well...and this is the process. If he was overly pursuing and calling and pushing things, that's usually the sign of a Commitment Phobic guy...and he'd be gone within a couple of months. This guy sounds healthy, normal and likes you. He enjoys your company. Things will grow slowly over time. Enjoy getting to know each other and have fun.
SummerRae Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Welcome to a healthy relationship. This is how a relationship should start. It shouldn't start out with a big explosion, afterall you don't know each other well...and this is the process. If he was overly pursuing and calling and pushing things, that's usually the sign of a Commitment Phobic guy...and he'd be gone within a couple of months. This guy sounds healthy, normal and likes you. He enjoys your company. Things will grow slowly over time. Enjoy getting to know each other and have fun. Brilliant!! Completely agree!!
Mirnsy Posted September 18, 2006 Posted September 18, 2006 Welcome to a healthy relationship. This is how a relationship should start. It shouldn't start out with a big explosion, afterall you don't know each other well...and this is the process. If he was overly pursuing and calling and pushing things, that's usually the sign of a Commitment Phobic guy...and he'd be gone within a couple of months. This guy sounds healthy, normal and likes you. He enjoys your company. Things will grow slowly over time. Enjoy getting to know each other and have fun.Brilliant!! Completely agree!! Me too! Very well said!
Author Alcumena Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Hi again, All of you: thanks for the responses. I so hope you guys are right. He recently went through a bad break-up and today he wrote me (we e-mail each other, too) that he values our fiendship very much. That seems discouraging, but maybe he just wants to take things slow, or I'm just that for him: a good friend. I guess I'll have to wait a little more to figure things out.... Maybe I'm too hopeful and in denial because I just like him a lot.
blind_otter Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 I had a male friend who was a pseudo-boyfriend. We would go out to eat together, go to the movies together -- but it was never a relationship. We both had just come out of bad relationships/bad breakups. I'm a pretty open person though so we got it out in the open early on and admitted that neither of us were looking for a committed relationship, but we did like the companionship.... IME if you have to ask, then it probably isn't. Not yet anyways.
Cheshire Cat Posted September 19, 2006 Posted September 19, 2006 He recently went through a bad break-up and today he wrote me (we e-mail each other, too) that he values our fiendship very much. That seems discouraging, but maybe he just wants to take things slow, or I'm just that for him: a good friend. I guess I'll have to wait a little more to figure things out.... Maybe I'm too hopeful and in denial because I just like him a lot. It could really mean anything. Why next time he asks you to have dinner out or go somewhere - just the two of you- you don't ask him jokingly something like "Is this a date?". His reaction might hopefully tell you quite a lot.
Author Alcumena Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Hi blind otter! Actually I would be very well OK with something like you had; but this man describes himself as a "relationship person". I have the feeling he would not be OK with it. Hi Cheshire Cat! Maybe a joke like that could tell me a little more. Perhaps I can find out if there is any romantic interest all. I'm just trying to be cautious (not my usual style!) because if there's none, I do not want to lose his friendship. May sound cliche, but I mean it, I like his company.
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