Ezydriver Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 How can it feel so bad? I discovered her cheating, she stubbornly denied it despite overwhelming evidence. I finished with her. I am the leaver. She hasn't shown any remorse and an apology is certainly out of the question. She broke it off with me first time and then got in contact after 3 months. I went back. She said she realised her mistake and what she'd lost. This time her mistake was even bigger. I wonder if she will eventually realise this mistake and try to get in touch with me. Usually its the dumped that wonder if the dumpers will ever contact you again. I find myself being the dumper this time, for good reason, she was cheating yet I'm still suffering the brunt. It doesn't follow the rules. how can she cheat, get dumped abrubtly, not hear from me and just accept it? I'll admit its my hurt ego here and I'm not interested in getting back with her but it would be the sweetest justice for her to come crawling back to me just so I can say no. I totally realise this is the wrong attitude but after all shes put me through twice without her feeling any pain I just wish she could feel a bit of what I went through. Just so she knows what its like as she obviously has no idea of the responsibilities of having somebodys heart in your hands. Will she eventually realise her mistake? She used to constantly say how we were connected and cry during love making and get so into it and tell me nice things. When she was blowing hot that is. It just as easilly changed to cold and when it did it made me a wreck. Even though I'm the leaver, physically, I felt she was the leaver emotionally. She blew hot and cold and had me so confused for a year.
Jane Doe Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 You may "think" that if she comes crawling back you'll feel vindicated and somehow feel better about what she did to you, but you know what my thoughts are on this? I think you'll take her back. That would be a collosal mistake. She's already shown you what she is. Actions speak far louder than the phony words she's said to you. Living well is the best revenge. Put her out of your mind and life and move on with your own. Take care of you.
Author Ezydriver Posted September 14, 2006 Author Posted September 14, 2006 She dumped me once. She did come back, I did take her back. However since then I discovered the real her and it was horrible. Absolutely horrible. I know too much now and feel different and wont go back. You're right though, the best revenge is to get over it. If I did go back it would kill me. It was the most unhealthiest relationship I've ever had yet the one I yearned for the most. Funny old world.
whichwayisup Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 If I did go back it would kill me. It was the most unhealthiest relationship I've ever had yet the one I yearned for the most Once your heart catches up to your mind, you'll be okay. Let yourself grieve, and give yourself time to get over her. You know she's not the one, and she only brings heartache into your life. Keep busy, hang with friends and family. Surround yourself with positive people, and those moments when you feel down, cry... Eventually you won't care what she thinks or feels. And when that day comes, you'll be free of her forever. Stay strong!
Ruinous79 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Yeah, I can relate here. For me, it was the classic case of him not wanting to be the bad guy so he just drove me away to the point I had no choice but to move out (even though I still loved him very much). He kept saying all the things that kept me hanging on but his actions were most definitely opposing his words. When I finally initiated no contact (after 4 months of being jerked around) I emailed him to tell him I'd had enough. The ****ed up part? He actually took my email to heart and I haven't heard from him since. I found out a month later he had found some girl in the Phillippines he was likely going to bring to the US and marry. (mail order bride type thing) Ouch. Guess he'd had enough too. Even though I knew it was the best thing for me, I did expect him to at least continue to try to get under my skin but that was that. It did suck...and it did make no contact feel even worse, but you know what? Now I am thanking him for it. It's been eight months of absolutely NC and while I'm still very much affected self esteem wise, I don't miss him anymore and I'm over it. So I would say: even though it hurts, one day you will be grateful to her for making this transition easy for you. Imagine if she was still trying to call you and see you. In your delicate state, you'd never be free of her!! Just ride it out and things WILL get better.
Jane Doe Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 It was the most unhealthiest relationship I've ever had yet the one I yearned for the most. I can certainly relate to that!! Just try to act with your head, not your heart. Your every instinct and intellect is telling you she's bad news. Listen to that and repeat it whenever necessary. There's something so much better and healthier out there for you!
Rooster_DAR Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 American women are evil!!!!!! I'm moving down under, I heard the women there are great!!
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