superconductor Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Why do guys go to strip clubs and get lap dances and all the rest? Because guys - me included - happen to like looking at naked women. Guys are visual. That's not news, of course, it's just fact. So a guy can easily separate the act of going to a club to watch lithe bodies gyrate on a stage from intimate time with their SO. Same with getting lap dances. Many guys don't consider it cheating because there's no emotional connection with the dancer. I'm not saying it's right, I'm just laying out the facts. Strangely, when a couple of guys go to a strip club, the dancers are usually just part of the entertainment, along with the big-screen TV, the pool table, maybe the slots or other video games, etc. The women shaking their stuff onstage aren't really human beings; they're just part of the decoration. Besides, most guys at a club will spend more of their time chatting with their buddies over a couple of pints and only occasionally glance up on stage to look at Natasha or Trixie or Bubbles or Hunni. Ladies, if your man is going to a strip club and you're not happy about it, he needs to know, in a language he understands, why it's important to you that he not go there. Don't give him all this "feelings" stuff, like "I feel betrayed when you go to Club Boobies" or "It hurts my feelings when you spend time and money at The Honey Pot" or stuff like that. Ultimatums don't work either (for either gender) because they're often seen as a way of exerting control. In order to get through to him, you'll have to speak in his language. Make it clear - VERY clear - and direct, and keep your emotions out of it, lest you be branded as just another blubbering whiner, and gawd there are lots of those around. Try something like this, in a non-confrontational manner: It's silly that some women think that strippers are being exploited. It's the guys that are being exploited. A guy goes to a club, spends wads of cash to get some chickie to wave her boobies in his face, she takes his money and gives up nothing, meanwhile he's now short of cash and has been teased. Who's exploiting whom here? I think it's just plain silly. What do you think? Or maybe: I have an idea. Take the money that you'd spend at a strip club, put it in a savings account, and then we'll take a nice vacation, complete with all the naughtiness you can handle. Point is, if you get upset at your man for going to a club and hold this against him, denying him sex and acceptance, that's only feeding the fire and he'll probably spend more time and money there to get what he's not getting at home.
KittenMoon Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 I think strip clubs are fine (heck I would go with my guy!), provided ground rules are followed: 1) Look, don't touch (And none of that 2 inches from her tits stuff either, she's on stage, you are in the audience) 2) No lap dances, or any other "special" services 3) He's not going alone (weird...) 4) Tip your waitress well! It's all about compromise. Guys can be "visual" but they need to be respectful of their ladies as well. Tread lightly. (Full disclosure: yes, I have been to a strip club)
typical Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 "I feel betrayed when you go to Club Boobies" :lmao: physical, skin on skin contact, in a sexual manner when you are involved with someone = cheating in any language. I have a question that has been vaguely plauging me, though... (assume, for the purpose of the question, the "man" is involved in a relationship) If a man watching a naked woman and recieving lap dances is not considered cheating at all, because he didnt actually engage in the full act of sex, would he be a cheater if he was a premature ejaculator and blew a load into his pants while he was recieving a lap dance? What if he knew he had a tendency to lose his load at the slightest provocation, and went to strip clubs expressly for the purpose of recieving a lap dance, to reach his fruition? Is that cheating? I have always been mildly intrigued and curious about this.
a4a Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 eh wifey just go with the hubby and ask the mgr if you can do a little pole riding yourself.... put on a show for your H and the whole crowd. Husbands/bf's love it when their own W/gf's gets on stage to excite the crowd.
typical Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Husbands/bf's love it when their own W/gf's gets on stage to excite the crowd. yes, quite..
a4a Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 yes, quite.. now it is not funny. Women love the attention of men. Just like men love to look at nakie woman. So this seems like a good option. Woman can get the attention they crave, men see naked woman and get the visual they crave. It is a win win situation.
Adunaphel Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Ladies, if your man is going to a strip club and you're not happy about it, he needs to know, in a language he understands, why it's important to you that he not go there. Don't give him all this "feelings" stuff, like "I feel betrayed when you go to Club Boobies" or "It hurts my feelings when you spend time and money at The Honey Pot" or stuff like that. Since some men get so easily baffled and scared at the mention of feelings [spooky theme in the background], perhaps some simple word-swapping tricks might come in handy and help us women to rephrase sentences better. Like, you change "hurt my feelings" to "get kicked in the butt", or "I feel betrayed" with "you can pack your bags" or "you are not getting any from me for the next three months". So you get very easy-to-grasp, straightforward sentences like "You can pack your bags if you go to Club Boobies". No emotions mentioned. Don't you see an improvement already? Ultimatums don't work either (for either gender) because they're often seen as a way of exerting control. The real problem with ultimatums is that if you give one and do not stick to it, you lose credibility. Never, ever threaten. Just state facts. In order to get through to him, you'll have to speak in his language. Make it clear - VERY clear - and direct, and keep your emotions out of it, lest you be branded as just another blubbering whiner, and gawd there are lots of those around. If "keeping your emotions out of it" means no yelling, no cursing, not pointing a knife at him or beating him repeatedly over his head with a rubber chicken calling him a pervert I 100% agree with you. If you mean not mentioning that his visits to strip clubs might hurt your emotions... it does not sound like a good strategy to me. Once he understands that the problem is not really money, or guys being exploited, but your emotions, you might be accused of being manipulative, of not speaking clearly, of being unable to communicate, of being a bitch but not having the balls to admit it (which is female-to-male translation for "being so insecure that you are afraid to bring up your feelings") Try something like this, in a non-confrontational manner: It's silly that some women think that strippers are being exploited. It's the guys that are being exploited. A guy goes to a club, spends wads of cash to get some chickie to wave her boobies in his face, she takes his money and gives up nothing, meanwhile he's now short of cash and has been teased. Who's exploiting whom here? I think it's just plain silly. What do you think? Or maybe: I have an idea. Take the money that you'd spend at a strip club, put it in a savings account, and then we'll take a nice vacation, complete with all the naughtiness you can handle. If he buys this stuff, either you are a great actress or he does not have a really high IQ. Most guys will instantly know what your real issue is. Well, he might buy it if you are the kind of gal that has no problems with strip clubs anyway. But in such a case you wouldn't have a problem to start with. Let's assume you tell him those things, you get answers such as "no, i don't really feel like us guys are being exploited, we are just paying for some entertainment, like we were going at the movies" or "but we already have plenty of money to have a nice vacation together, why don't you relax and spend some money too on things you enjoy doing?":laugh: ...where do you go from there? Point is, if you get upset at your man for going to a club and hold this against him, denying him sex and acceptance, that's only feeding the fire If you deny your man sex after he has done something that hurt your feeling, it's not necessarily because you are retaliating, or trying to "punish" him or to manipulate him. It could be because your man looking at naked chicks is a huge turn off, or because you are *really* unable to find attractive a guy who has just done something that hurt your feelings (and included other women). Most women are not in the mood of having sex when they are upset. For men, having sex could even be useful to relieve the tension you feel after an argument/when you are upset, but for many women it does not work this way. and he'll probably spend more time and money there to get what he's not getting at home Were you talking about feeding the fire? By doing so he's increase the chances of getting dumped/getting divorce papers/being cheated on (I expect that intelligent people will not assume that what I mean is that it's okay to cheat on someone who visits strip clubs, but you never know) /ending up with a gf/wife who hates sex, hates him, hates sex with him. Superconductor, nothing personal, really. I usually like your posts (and I do know you were trying to help us jealous gals right now). It's just that I'm falling back into my strip-clubs threads addiction. :bunny:
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