Guest Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 So, everyone says guys are friendzoned. Can a girl be friendzoned? I have a really good friend. Right before summer came, I thought my friend and I had something more between us. His best friend liked my roomate and he supposedly liked me. They both hung out in my dorm room all the time. Right before we all left for the summer, my roomate asked him "Do you like her?" and he said "I don't know. Yes, but I'm confused." I attributed his confusion then to the fact that I always say that "Friends shouldn't date because it will ruin the friendship." My roomate always tells both of us that we should date, and being the immature girl that I was, I always say that the combination of relationships and friends do not work. He always countered with, "If you don't date your friends, who would you date?" So I decided to just approach him during the summer because I was getting incredibly frustrated; we did this program together and he had so many girls surrounding him all the time that I never had a chance to talk to him, and he never made the effort to come talk to me. One day, on the bus, I decided to just ask him. He hesitated for a second. Then said, "No. Did you think I was?" I said, "Yeah, but you're not?" "No" "But my roomate said that..." "We're friends. Why would I host you for a week if I did like you?" (I stayed a week at his house during my travels. Which is totally lame because you can like someone and still host them!) Now I'm rethinking all the times we shared together and wondering if maybe it was just friends. Maybe for a moment, he got confused, considered the possibility, but decided against it. I don't know. So, I'm just feeling down lately. Is it possible for a guy to feel differently about a girl later even if he does not now? Or, more accurately, is it "likely" for that to happen? I feel that when a guy makes that kind of decision, it is because he is not attracted to her in some way. Another thing that is bothering me is that it is awkward for me to approach him now. I want it to be normal, but when I do approach him, I feel sometimes he's cold because he might be afraid that I still harbor those feelings for him. It's only not awkward when he approaches me. I feel like I'm losing a really good friend. I want us to joke around like normal. I want us to be able to just hang out and him not to turn cold on me when he feels like we're hitting emotional danger zone. I am not trying to get him or anything; I understand the concept of when he's not interested, he's not interested and just accept it. I am just mourning a good friendship. It's just kind of sad. I don't know what to do.
monkey00 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 guys do/can friends zone a girl. Speaking for myself and many other guys i know, usually if that happens they've already lost interest in the girl. or their interest level isnt all that high to begin with, maybe 50%. I dont know, but that may be what your friend is, on the 50% borderline. If he was interested, he wouldve asked you out by now. But have you done/said anything that indicated you're interested in more than friends?
superconductor Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Sure, a guy can friendzone a girl. Usually it happens when he gets mixed signals from her, or just isn't attracted. Just like the reverse situation, it's extremely rare - if ever - that the friend zone is something that can be broken out of. I've never seen it happen, personally.
FishTale Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 So, everyone says guys are friendzoned. Can a girl be friendzoned? I've spoken to some other girls both online and in person, and quite a few have said they were friendzoned at some point. That is, they developed feelings for men who were their friends already, but the male friend just wasn't interested in them that way, and they either moved on or remained friends. From what I've seen... Friendzoning seems to happen when guys act more like a female friend to girls. Friendzoning also seems to happen when girls act more like a male friend to guys. Obviously there's more factors than that, but I think that other than pure attraction, it's a big part. I play videogames, do outdoor sports, and other male-dominated things, so I get labeled as a tomboy alot, even though I make the effort to be feminine otherwise. Because of that I have a lot of male friends. The stage is set. So... Having had a lot of male friends myself, and having had more than one of them I was interested in say to me "I see you as a good friend", I'd personally say that females can be friendzoned. I think it may happen to me sometimes because they come to see me as 'one of the guys' rather than a date. Overall though... I think (and this is just my opinion based on observation) it's rarer for a girl to be friendzoned by a guy for two reasons: Generally... Less girls ask out guys than vice versa. Generally... Guys are more willing to try.
phyrespryte Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 But have you done/said anything that indicated you're interested in more than friends? I'm curious about that too. It sounds like you've been sending him a vibe that you weren't interested. Then when you asked him if he liked you...well you kind of put him in an awkward position. So I think that might be a reason for the weirdness between the two of you now. But yes, I have seen girls put in the friend zone. I've been there too. And I haven't seen anyone get out of it either.
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