the patient Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Hey! long time reader, now i'm searching for advice, here's my situation. I broke up with my gf of 2-2.5 years about 3 months ago, Just before that we were going off and on (myself always initiating the breakups)for about 3 months prior to breakup day. The reason i broke up with her was because i found myself not being as attracted to her physically as i once had. I loved her to death, everything about her, but in the end it came down to superficial reasons. I'm a guy, and i was getting to the point where i was turning down sex, which is really strange, and no, i'm not confused about my sexual orientation. Anyways, I'm in deep regret with the choices i've made, i would do anything to have her back, but i understand how much of a blow to her self-esteem it would be if she were to come back and all the redicule she would face from her friends and what not. She was madly in love with me and was devastated all the times we broke up, but i kept coming back, saying i changed, wanting to fix things and work stuff out, but in the end the story always ended the same way. I'm kind of confused with myself, i thought i was in love and i saw myself marrying this girl and growing old with her, she meant so much to me, but i just got bored and would always take off running for the hills. I can't believe what i've done, i can't believe how i could hurt someone so close to me so much. She won't talk to me and wants nothing to do with me. It's been 2- 3 weeks since we've last spoke. I hate myself more everyday and find myself getting high all the time to get my mind off things. I want to tell her how much i love her and how sorry i am for all the **** i've put her through and how i wanna fix things again, she was the most perfect girl in the world and i let it slip through my fingers, many times! I've realized my mistakes and it just boils down to a maturity thing. I was immature, i didn't face our problems, instead i just hide from them, i want to show her that i've changed and that i want to be with her forever. I've tried e-mailing her, but she just ignores me. I think she's fedup with everything that's happened. I will say this though, i learnt a hell of a lot from this relationship, that will benefit me a lot more in the future. I thought i didn't want to be with her at the end but now she's all i ever wanted. Anyways, any advice would be greatly appreciated, i don't mind if you guys let me have it either, i can face the music, but what do i do from here? Everyone keeps telling me to see past it, and it's over and to move on. But i think i have some severe issues with letting go. I'm holding on to hope that someway, somehow, she'll come in contact with me and want to discuss things one more time, and i know that's a long shot at best. How do i lose hope? cause i'm only going to end up hurting myself more in the end..ty.
shawn_68 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 What you do from here is that you learn a valuable lesson. I would leave her alone, more than likely she'll never open her heart to you again. Lesson learned. Remember this for a long time. No doubt, she will always remember.
Rooster_DAR Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 I agree with the last post, let this be an unforgettable lesson learned. roost
Ruinous79 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 You definitely need to give up on any hope of reconciliation. This girl has most certainly had enough and would be a fool to trust you again. While you may feel this way now, past experience dictates otherwise. Why drag her back into all of this when you don't know if you're going to wind up changing your mind in three weeks and hurting her even further? I think this sounds like more of an issue of wanting what you can't have. Don't beat yourself to death for THAT....it's a natural human condition. You only realize the value of something when it's not available to you anymore. Everyone has faced that at some point. Chalk it up to that and leave that girl alone to move on. I do think it's horrible if you told this woman that you broke up with her because you suddenly found her sexually repulsive. How is that even possible? Maybe you have some issues with sex.....addicted to pornography, Oedipal complex or something? (not trying to be a jerk...just making suggestions from my past experiences with men) Either way, no woman needs to have her faults pointed out by a man she's opened herself up to intimately. The bottom line: she trusted you and you screwed her over good. Move on.
Just2Cute1972 Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 You remind me of my ex. And when i read this it just filled me with anger. U hurt her probably A LOT what right do u have now to wanna waltz back into her life get her to trust u again just so u can leave again? I just had to break contact with my ex of 4 1/2 weeks because he wont leave me alone and its so painful and im so afraid that one day he will be just like you and try to come to me with all this crap. You made your bed, i think you should lay in it now. Im sorry to come across so mean, but speaking from someone on the OTHER side of this coin, its ****ing devastating to have to go thru what u put her thru.
Author the patient Posted September 14, 2006 Author Posted September 14, 2006 i definately never told her that i wasn't attracted to her physically, i knew what kind of heartache that would cause. Thanks for your feedback everyone, i know what i gotta do now, this has helped me immensly.
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