Meggedy Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Ok....I will be blunt. I have a HUGE crush on my kid's martial arts teacher. He is amazing. I feel like I am in high school again. I am a young single mom, so I am free to go for it. Based on body language and small hints in conversation, I am pretty sure it's mutual. (He turns bright red and grins whenever he talks to me, for one.) But it seems like he's being careful - after all, this is a wierd situation. I know that he's single. To complicate things more, I only see him when there are 8 bazillion kids and coworkers around, so we don't exactly have any privacy, ever. That said I have 2 questions - opinions so far from friends have been 50/50. He is one of about 8-9 teachers at this dojo, so he isn't my kid's only instructor. Furthermore, my child is not privy to my love life, and would not be aware of this unless at some point the relationship got serious. But is this just wrong to begin with??? And secondly, if you think I should go for it, how do I ask someone out in a public place?? There really is no opportunity for privacy, and furthermore, I have never asked a man out in my life. He's a professional, so I think I will have to make the move on this one. Logistics advice?? thank you for your responses....what a strange situation.
Buttaflyy Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Sounds like you want to make a move. Go for it! It doesn't sound like such a wierd situation to me.
climbergirl Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 At the end (when all classes are done), send him an e-mail thanking him for being such a great teacher. This will open the lines of communication and giving him your email address allows him to ask you out in a more private setting. I did this (my son and daughter both had him as their 6th grade teacher)-we ended up dating for a couple years and I still consider him a very good friend.
Buttaflyy Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 At the end (when all classes are done), send him an e-mail thanking him for being such a great teacher. This will open the lines of communication and giving him your email address allows him to ask you out in a more private setting. I did this (my son and daughter both had him as their 6th grade teacher)-we ended up dating for a couple years and I still consider him a very good friend. I like this Climbergirl! You give him an inch hoping he'll take a mile!
Author Meggedy Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 A good idea (about sending the note when classes end) but one thing I didn't mention is that they don't end. The dojo trains black belts, so my kid will be there for years to come...
Buttaflyy Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I can see now why you are a bit concerned... but I still say go for it! And kudos for you for not letting your kids in on your private social life. If it doesn't work out, they should be none the wiser. I think I'd still find a reason to drop him an email.
climbergirl Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I like this Climbergirl! You give him an inch hoping he'll take a mile! heehee... I knew he was interested, and the added bonus was not losing face by only thanking him. Well, maybe I said Hope to see you next year...turns out my son got him as one of his teachers the next year. 5 months of back and forth emails.........sloooooow burn--I'm surprised we didn't tear each others clothes off on the first date. Meggan- You can still write the email...maybe along the lines of how much you appreciate all the help he's done with your son. How many other teachers does he have?
Author Meggedy Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 well the class is about 40 kids, there are usually 4-5 teachers at one time. probably 8 or 9 total, although I have seen a few more lately. Not really sure how the scheduling of who teaches what is done, except the hot one is always there when my kid is. and unfortunately....I don't have his email....that would be a lot easier....I think my only option is to find a time when there are just less people around, I've been thinking about this for a month now and have had absolutely no opportunity...
climbergirl Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 well the class is about 40 kids, there are usually 4-5 teachers at one time. probably 8 or 9 total, although I have seen a few more lately. Not really sure how the scheduling of who teaches what is done, except the hot one is always there when my kid is. and unfortunately....I don't have his email....that would be a lot easier....I think my only option is to find a time when there are just less people around, I've been thinking about this for a month now and have had absolutely no opportunity... First, sorry I got your name wrong. Don't they have contact #'s or something in case you need to get ahold of them.........so to speak;) ?
ATrain Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Send the email just like climbergirl suggested. I think if he's interested he'll make a move
JackRussel Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Ok you have a crush thats common, just think this out first. The thing that strikes me the most is you say he's your kids martial arts teacher. The main attraction to him may be he for one)is teaching your kid a usefull skill and two) seems powerfull and in control while doing it. You have to realize though no matter how young your kid is he/she will find out, probably sooner than you would hope for.I doubt the last thing you want is to create any awkwardness for you or at worst have to take your kid out of the class because this guy is'nt what you thought he was. You say you've been thinking this out for a month and if he was thinking the same thing too, regardless of how professional he is he should have asked you out by now so that also strikes me as odd. I wouldnt recommend asking him out personnally, he is the male in this situation and you asking him out would seem like a desperate act to him. The best advice I have is think clearly about the pros/cons of this, but most importantly think about your kid, they should be your biggest concern in this situation.
climbergirl Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 Ok you have a crush thats common, just think this out first. The thing that strikes me the most is you say he's your kids martial arts teacher. The main attraction to him may be he for one)is teaching your kid a usefull skill and two) seems powerfull and in control while doing it. You have to realize though no matter how young your kid is he/she will find out, probably sooner than you would hope for.I doubt the last thing you want is to create any awkwardness for you or at worst have to take your kid out of the class because this guy is'nt what you thought he was. Not necessarily true about the reasons for the 'crush'. In my instance, out of all the teachers my kids have had, this is the only one I wanted to date. AND my kids didn't find out until well after he wasn't their teacher-that's over a year of dating. We're adults and it is possible to keep it on the DL. You're right on the awkwardness if things don't work out, though...that can be a problem. Something to consider. You say you've been thinking this out for a month and if he was thinking the same thing too, regardless of how professional he is he should have asked you out by now so that also strikes me as odd. I wouldnt recommend asking him out personnally, he is the male in this situation and you asking him out would seem like a desperate act to him. The best advice I have is think clearly about the pros/cons of this, but most importantly think about your kid, they should be your biggest concern in this situation. This shouldn't strike you as odd. One thing I know for sure...teachers (knowledge from talking with him about it) are very cautious and it is a general rule to not date their students parents. Teachers have more to lose (being the more direct, agressive one) than the parent if rejected. And the e-mail wasn't necessarily 'asking him out'-just testing the water.
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