Guest Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 So I have been looking at all the great post on this message board to get some inspiration. I'm not sure for what. I'm gonna try to make it short since I can't stand long post! My boyfriend of 3 years broke up with me on Sunday for the 4th time, yeah I know. I'm 22 and he is 26 this is my second serious relationship and probably his 3-4th. He basically broke up with me because of our fights - which aren't too often. They are often over stupid things but he just wants to keep fighting about it until we are both frustrated. He talks in circles and makes me feel like I have to come up with this solution - for what I don't know! I'd rather just talk about it and then walk away, because they are studid fights! My ex has this notion that he is going to find a relationship in which there are no fights. I tell him he is crazy but he doesn't listen. Well sunday he broke up with me and i said i would bee back monday to get my stuff WHILE YOU ARE AT WORK. so monday morning i get to his house and he is there! he called outta work because he didn't feel like going in. which made me upset because i picked that time and day because i knew he wouldn't be home and he knew this. so as i'm walking around trying to find all my crap he is saying : "don't you wanna talk about it?" so I say: "go for it" then he starts with i hope you don't hate me blah blah blah...i love you soo much but we just are too different...i missed you a lot last night to which i didn't respond, so he said it again. basically he walks around while i pack giving me mixed messages...telling me we need time apart but he isn't promising we will get back together. wtf.. he has done this to me so many times, 4 to be exact. its just like i love him so much, but i see how different we are. its hard for me to let go; especially since i am so used to him coming back. i try to tell myself its over, but i don't believe it. why can't he just say "you know what i love you but we are never getting back together." it would be so much better because then atleast i would know to just let go. so because he was there i forgot a lot of my stuff, now i have the issue of getting it back. he'll probably ignore me when i try to call in a week or so for it back. my last problem is that he is good friends with my sister and her husband, so he'll never go away. its like he'll be in my life forever when all i wanna do is forget about him. i have never experienced something so painful. i just need to know how to let go, and i can't bring myself to tell him don't bother calling when you want me back. god i'm so confused and jealous of all those happy people in the world. the ones with normal boyfriends and girlfriends.
BannaBee57 Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Hi Guest! I'm really sorry to hear about your troubles. I have a fairly similar situation as you except I've been going through the pain for about 1.5 months now. Though my ex and I had never broken up and got back together before I still couldn't get the idea out of my head that we would be back together someday. I'm still trying to come to terms with the fact that it's over but it gets easier everyday (especaily when you start meeting other cute guys!). My ex also thinks he is going to find someone that he will never have an argument with or have to compromise with. They are under the impression that "true love" means never having to work at anything. Don't worry though...they will find out the hard way that this is just not the case. I also understand your trouble with him being friends with your sis. One of my best friends is my ex's cousin so its hard to really cut him out of my life completly. You could try asking your sis to avoid talking about him when you are present and not invite him around when you are there. This is what I've been doing. Also, if he won't answer you calls about your stuff then leave a voice mail asking him to either mail you your stuff or let one of your friends pick it up. Is it stuff you can live without for a while? Maybe give it a month or so to let him cool down and then try getting it back. I know what you mean when you wish he would have just said "we are never getting back together". My ex also said "maybe one day we can work it out". It keeps your hopes up, doesn't it? Why are they so weak? I don't know about your ex but I'm sure mine was just saying this to soften the blow. It would be so much easier if they would just say "I'm sorry but it's over, forever". I've been trying to pretend he never said these words to me and I suggest you do the same. Don't put your life on hold for someone that doesn't want you now, and may never want you again. Hang in there and try to not contact him at all. This way your feeling will have a chance to subside and you can start to see that you deserve someone that truely loves you and is will to work on the relationship instead of giving it all away over some silly arguments. Good luck, Breanna
Guest Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 thank you so much for your response! i know what i have to do but its really hard. i don't wanna let go. i guess you don't always get what you want - something i say often. well i feel a little better knowing that i'm not the only one going through this. i'm sorry for your pain and i hope you feel better soon along with myself. <3 <3 Lisa
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