crzyblndstar Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I will give you a little background first. I started dating my ex, we will call him S, when I was 16 and we were together for a total of 6 years. After the first 4 years, I broke up with him b/c I was young and I wanted to get out there and experience life. He never really new that there were any problems and needless to say, I broke his heart. Over the next 2 years we were together on and off. We tried to be fwb, but we should have known that that would never work, I couldn't stand finding out that he was seeing someone else and he could stand it either. We ended up back together for probably another 1 1/2 years and the same thing happened again. I had started a new job and was having way more fun hanging out with everyone else and I didn't want him holding me back. I know, very selfish. So I broke up with him again and broke his heart again. He was always a good guy and loved me to death. We had our problems, like everyone else, but I never broke up with him b/c he was mean to me or cheated on me or anything like that. I always did it for selfish reasons. I haven't seen or talked to him in 3 years. I would always check up on him with mutual friends just to see how he was doing and stuff but never had any communication with him b/c I figured he hated me. During these 3 years, I was in another relationship and I had a child. About 6 months ago I got out of the relationship b/c my son's father was emotionally abusive and finally became physically abusive. So about 2 months ago my ex, S, emailed me. He just wanted to say Hi and see how things are going. So from then on, we started emailing each other, and then talking on the phone, and about 3 weeks ago, finally hung out for the first time with some mutual friends. Now, we have been seeing each other probably 4 times a week since our first meeting. He has been so sweet and constantly wanting to do things for me. Him and my son get along great and play together practically the whole time we are with him. My problem is, I dont want to break his heart again. I am really enjoying spending time with him and I even catch myself missing him if I didn't see him that day. But, I don't want to get back into this until I am %100 positive that I am ready for this again. When I think about him, I can honestly say that I can see myself marrying him one day. But, I dont know if I am ready for all this right now or not. But I am afraid that if I dont do things now, I might not have the chance again one day. And like I have said, my biggest fear is breaking his heart. What if I get back into this and then decide that the same problems I had with him before are still there? I'm sorry this is so long, I am just very confused right now. I would really appreciate any advice or input or any experiences from anyone. Thanks in advance.
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