Guest Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 My H and I have been having some issues and in counseling etc. Something came up recently that is bothering me a lot even though nothing has come of it...at least not yet... A new woman just started at his work and right off the bat has been telling my H her life story including relationships, and telling him that neighborhood men are coming on to her and their wives are jealous...this was on her first day! My husband has to go around with her on day trips to various local places and when they were in the car she was telling him all these details. He was just mentioning this to me in passing when a red flag went off in my head so I asked a few more questions. As the conversation progressed my H's story seemed to change and then I got even more worried. Here are the scariest facts: 1) several years younger than H and I 2) single with no kids, pets or boyfriend 3) very attractive blonde (my husband was very evasive on this question at first then admitted she is a "looker") 4) owns own home on a cul de sac 5) home is less than 3 miles from their workplace 6) working on the road with my H with substantial "unaccounted for" time available 7) touchy feely, patting H's arm, sitting close, etc 8) she and my H share a nearly identical professional background, lots in common that way Ok I know do I trust my husband or not? Well I want to and try to but his story changed and that scares me too Chronology was like (him talking, over a few days) 1) She told these details to my boss and he is the one who told me 2) (after I said I thought her saying these things was strange) Do you really think that is strange or inappropriate? Hmmm... 3) Yes it is inappropriate but I'm sure she means nothing by it 4) She told these details directly to both my boss and me 5) Well I do think she might be on the hunt but I am not tempted 6) She told most of these details directly to me but some to my boss 7) Don't worry, I brought this whole subject up with you so you could help me deflect any danger but I am not tempted 8) I will not give in to the temptation 9) She is a nice woman and is not a threat 10) I don't know whether she is flirting with me Meanwhile, he has never referred to her by name as he does his other coworkers, it is always "that woman at work". Look I know he has not done anything but it just kills me that this gets timed just when we are trying to work out our problems. We have been together over 11 years and I AM worried that this is a threat. Being a proactive sort of person, I feel like I can't just say oh, well and hope that spending 8 hours a day with this person, in and out of the office, won't ever lead to anything. I have to add that in talking about all of this, it was clear to my woman's intuition that my H is quite attracted to this woman (really stumbled over his words and avoided eye contact when I asked what she looked like). Thing is, I am not sure how I can be proactive. I don't want to ask too many questions but I don't want to get blindsided later. Does anyone have any suggestions for monitoring this scenario in some way that doesn't exacerbate the situation? Or do I just have to hold my breath and worry every day?
Guest Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I would tell your husband how you feel first of al. then I would ask what her name was and if he did not tell you then is he hidein something? also to tell you if the spouse wants to cheat then they will cheat and there is nothing you can do. it all boils down on how much you love each other!! I would tell him your concerns and also tell you person you are seeing about this. if your h wont give up the name find it out yourself. plan a party and invite the co-workers over with every intent of her being there and make yourself know that you are the wife and you are willing to take out what tries to sneak in. you can be very professional about the holw thing yet very I will kick your a** if you decided to step in the wrong door. call him on his cell phone during the day. just tell him you are calling to say you love him and what for the I love you back while she is in the car and that way she knows. strike a conversation for what is for dinner blahblah blah. you are now becomming the jelious wife too... just as she said. only cause she planted the seed in his head that planted it into yours. lots of ways around this and to make sure that he is faithful. if you are seeking help then he has to love you right?
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