Akasha Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 I've been in a relationship with my B/F for a decade, we spent every chance we could together for the first 5 years. (After 2 years we moved in to a house together). We were so happy. We had stimulating conversation, amazing sexual relationship, we had interests that complimented eachother. He was always complimentary and affectionate. We would go out on the weekends, usually only one night and then spent the rest of the time doing things such as intimate cook outs, renting a movie and snuggling... things of that sort. He has a hobby that has turned more into a career at this point.... After the 1st 5 years, it seemed as though our relationship began to downward spiral. He dosen't spend much time at home anymore, he is always too tired to do go anywhere on the weekends, if we decide to go out to dinner, he wants to go to dinner and as soon as he's done, he wants to return home where he can sit endlessly in front of the television. (Al Bundy). An issue we had that I had to bring to the table had to do with his evening routine. You see, I get up for work pretty early, he usually will get up about an hour after I do, he would come home from work, eat and watch television without any conversation or interaction with me, whatsoever. I would go to bed, normally, by around 11pm and there he would be until 1am. Now, Friday evening rolls around, I don't have to wake up early on Saturday, so now I can stay awake late and watch the tele with him....... did you guess it??? Friday nights, he would hit the sack by 9pm. I finally, got fed up with this and told him we needed to talk about it, for a short period he started going to bed the same time I did... then he reverted back to his old ways. My question.... I don't what I should do. Should I keep trying? Or stop?
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 That's a long time and too long to throw in towel. Keep talking to him and work on the relationship. Bring back the fire and passion! You may have to intiate it, but trust me, once you start wandering around your house nude, or ask him to watch you masterbate, something sexy to get him going again, things will be better. Seems life has gotten in the way, you two have settled into a pattern, day in and day out and things need to be shaken UP! And, have some fun!! Together! Make time for eachother, plan dinners, dates and cuddle up togethr on the couch. Have SEX on the couch!
Poboy Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 my friend was in a 8 year long relationship... its almost like being married but not quite. Being in a relatioship for such a long period will bring out what he / she is like in true sense later on in marriage. all those things you have said here , tell him the same why its not happening now and what can be done to make it a healthy one again... both of you will have to mutually work on this My friend didnt want to work on the relationship after 8 yrs so her So called it off ... Work , Work ,Work on it
Author Akasha Posted September 14, 2006 Author Posted September 14, 2006 I've tried to sit down next to him while he's watching tv (family guy or the simpsons) and I'll kiss his neck or lay my head on his lap.. look at his man hood and say "hi" ... his response is 'Hi baby, I love you, I'm watching tv" if this was an occassional response, I wouldn't mind, but this is almost ALWAYSSSSSSSSSSSS. I've tried to talk to him about and I've told him things like...'remember when we use to go to the golf course together, you'd play golf while I was your caddy? That was so much fun' (you'd think that was a big enough hint) but he's say 'yeah, I haven't gone to play golf in a long time' to which my response was ' we should go' his response ' yes, baby, we'll see'. If I suggest that we go out somewhere, his response is, 'No, baby, I'm tired, you can go' . I respond by telling him I want "US" to go.. he just tells me he just wants to chill. Keep in mind we use to go out on the weekends, even if it was just for a couple of hours.... what am I missing??? Help.
Poboy Posted September 14, 2006 Posted September 14, 2006 sounds like he is just disconnected with you and the relationship ... any particulat reason for that ... sexual , career etc ??? sounds like you two need to go for proffesional counselling if you want this to last.
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