natasha06 Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I am new here so "HI" all and I'll get straight to the point. Any advice is needed. I was easdropping in on my b/fs conversation last night to his friend saying how he went to an Oriental message parlor and he recieved oral and then she sat on him and they had sex. With a condom of course. Describing how perfect their bodies were and who you could pick them out, blah blah blah. I was LIVID. Packed my stuff what little I had , We do not live together. He was telling me it only happened once and it was when we were broken up for two months.His friend introduced him to it. He only has 2 very close friends. He would never do it again he said, but by his conversation i overheard he was very enthusiastic. Here's his argument: In our past I took him to strip joints, the porn shop and even took him to a swingers party and we swapped with A couple. He would never have done any of these things by himself and him going to the Oriental parlor was a snowball effect of my introducing him to porn. He said he will fogive me of my wrong doings and I will forgive him of his and we will start going to church together? do we go see a therapist and tell him everything? My argument is: We have been together for 2 years, the swapping was a mutual decision and everything we did, strip clubs, porn shop we did together as a couple just to invigorate our sex life more. I am devasted he had sex with a prostitute right next to a Navy base which means she has "maybe" serviced more people than McDonalds. I know I am no angel here so do I have a right to be pissed and never speak to him again? or did I have it coming to me since I was easedropping and my bad pornographic choices I made with him? His birthday is tomorrow Wed the 13th too? Do I call or not? He's 42 I'm 35.
nicki Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I can't believe he is laying his cheating on YOU. HE did it. It doesn't matter that you took him to a porn shop or whatever, he made the decision to cheat...and with a sex worker, yuck. Going to a porn shop didn't make YOU cheat. He's disgusting. Don't call him, birthday or not. Get yourself a happy ending by dropping him.
superconductor Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 Uh, if you and he weren't together at the time, then why all the fuss?
blind_otter Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 In the future, if you chose to indulge in extracurricular sexual activities WITH your BF, it would be a good idea to let him know the boundaries. Because the way you pushed the envelope kind of set this whole situation up. You could argue that he should "know" not to have sex with a prostitute, but considering howopen minded you were about other things, he very well may have assumed that you would either not mind, or even could be happy about it andwant to go yourself.
JamesM Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 He was telling me it only happened once and it was when we were broken up for two months. Based on that sentence alone, he did NOT cheat on you. Did he know you were getting back together? Since you were not married and broken up, he was not committed to you. However, he went to a massage parlor. Not only is this unsafe, it is illegal. I highly doubt at 42, that this is the first time. But if it is, then it is a lack of judgment. Can you live with the possibility that he may do it again? What happened to your respect for him? Can you trust him now? Since you had enough problem with it to find this Board, I believe you know already what you want to do...or feel you should do.
Author natasha06 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 Now he says that I should be a little bit happy it wasnt with a women he knows or was seeing, that it was only quick sex and no commitment. I personally would have felt better if it was with a women he had met and dated. The threat of disease is more prevalent with the prostitute. I know he didnt cheat on me since we were not together at that time, but a prostitute is a prostitute. I know in my heart what I should do, thanks for your replies. Glutten for punishment
Author natasha06 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 I am making a fuss over this because he was with a prostitute, this really bothers me. I never would have thought he would stoop that low.
littlepiggy1 Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Eh, dump him and move on. And give me the number of that parlor while you're at it.
malibu Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Not trying to hijack this thread but, do all places that do massages on men happen like this or are there specific places that could easily be picked out. How does one tell the difference? The reason I ask is because i know a man who gets massages....
superconductor Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 OP, you keep changing your story. First you were mad because you said he cheated, even though you weren't together. Now you're saying your mad because he was with a prostitute. Hey, if you want to dump the guy, just do it and be done with it. Why put yourself and him through all this angst?
JamesM Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 Not trying to hijack this thread but, do all places that do massages on men happen like this or are there specific places that could easily be picked out. How does one tell the difference? The reason I ask is because i know a man who gets massages.... Hate to say that I know this, but usually the massage parlors have Asian women (AMPs=Asian Massage Parlors). AMPs have young women give men...I assume only men...massages for a set price per hour. AMPs have locked doors. In order to get in, one has to ring a bell or knock at a door. Then the mamasan will open up and let the person in. Also, the location of these AMps is not in the best part of town. During the massage, the men either ask/imply or are coached for extras. For a tip, hjs (handjobs), oral, or full service is offered. Never is this offer said, for then it is illegal. However, to get this offered, one kinda has to have a clue how to ask or the girls won't offer for fear the client is a cop. Massage parlors that offer a "happy ending" are also usually open late into the night or 24/7. There are a few non Asian parlors that offer extras...but not many. So, if this man gets massages at a place where you as a woman can go and feel comfortable getting a massage, or at a place that is listed as a licensed massage parlor, or a place that has an open waiting room, and is not open earlier than late morning or early evening, then this is a normal massage. Otherwise, he may be having a happy ending.
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