Aussie65 Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I had written on a previous thread how my boyfriend had been suffering from depression badly over the last few weeks and after spending a few days with him last week and his love for me feeling the same by time Saturday came he had changed and when I asked if I could see him later on he said to leave it....when asked about the next day he said to leave it 2 or 3 days so I did,I did not even call him as he promised to phone me which he never. I called up a friend today to find out he had left for another State....flew down on the plane yesterday morning.I talked to him on Saturday and he never once said things were over between us but he did seem very down.He had blood tests on Friday and was worried about thos tests but so was I and yet the closer I tried to get to him the more he pushed me away. No phone call...no nothing from him and he leaves so as you can imagine I am heartbroken/angry you name it!I was so good to this man and loved him with all my heart and only three weeks ago we talked about marriage and now this.I tried phoning him today and his friend answered the phone and said to call back which I did and well he never answered and I texted him as well a few times and still nothing....I even poured my heart out to this guy and still no reply but then tonight an sms comes through...."I got the tests results back and all it is is cholesterol" there was no love you,nothing,just this so I sent one back saying to go get you know what.... I have done everything I could imagine for this man that I love yet he does this to me and after crying many tears I am now so bitter.I wonder now if he truly loved me and if he did why would he treat me this way when I clearly was supportive of him?He never had the guts to even tell me it's over as I believe this is his thoughts....I have never loved a man like this,he was the laughter in my life...my soul mate,he took my heart and crushed it and I want to just run away from everything. How does one recover from something like this when you love someone so much you would do anything for them?
swirly27 Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 Aussie, that is just a horrible way for someone to end things, if that is what he did. Is it definitely over for you both, from his standpoint? Or is he maybe just pulling back from you and acting distant, is he coming back from where he flew from? This must be really grueling for you to go thru, but is he definitely clinically 'depressed'? What is his depression regarding, or do you not know? That would HAVE to really play into why he is acting this way....depression is very hard for anyone to go thru, especially people close to the person depressed. Is he seeing a therapist or anything or taking any medication? Either way, depending on his degree of depression here, you do need to decide how to proceed because you are supposedly in his life, but these actions aren't showing you much of anything and you don't deserve that. If he can't focus on a relationship with you, he should tell you that, we all would deserve that.....but maybe this isn't going to work and you just need to read the signs and take a step back and focus on you now, because he obviously has things to work out on his own. Good luck with this!!
Author Aussie65 Posted September 12, 2006 Author Posted September 12, 2006 thankyou Swirly,I agree with you.I feel like my hearts been strung along now for the last few weeks.Everything was going great between us,he was living with me!Then he wanted to go stay at his friends house when I was so physically and emotionally ill he saw my "needing" him to be with me here as a control thing.I guess it was all good for a while but then once commitment and responsibilities started to set in he could not cope. I would have given this man the world and I wanted so much to help him and one of those thing was to get him in to see a councellor once a week which is what he desperately needed but once he started to push me away I felt unloved and unwanted and one does need to feel needed in a relationship.I spent the night at his place on Friday night but he wrapped himself up tight in his own blanket and did not as much as hug me once.I told him many times I am here for him,reach out to me!etc etc etc but he still would not and to think of how close we were not so long ago and even THursday last week he had his arms wrapped tight around me......I do know he loves me but I just think he wants a no strings relationship now. He's abandoned me in my time of need and next week I have an Specialist appointment as I have problems of my own right now yet all he can think of is himself. I don't know right now how my heart can carry on from here with the love I still have for him but I do know there is someone out there for me that will treat me right someday.....it's just hard to seperate my feelings right now with thoughts of him going through my mind 24/7.I have a job,I am having trouble working....I feel I need to take time off,I am just not coping with all of this. Thankyou for your support, Di
whichwayisup Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 You did nothing wrong, this is his issue and he's only thinking of himself right now. He can't handle anything which is why he ran away...He has NO balls meaning, he should have told you what he was going to do, or end it first, before taking off. More reason to show you that he is too unstable to help you, let alone himself....There isn't ANYTHING you can for someone who isn't ready to let someone help them. I'm sorry for your pain, and if you need to, please go make an appointment with a therapist to help you cope. You need alot of support right now.
Author Aussie65 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 I need something.....I am not coping very well...one minute I feel I have all the strength in the world the next I am falling apart and want to leave town. I have not told you but during my time of illness I was an emotional mess due to him leaving me while I was so down that I went to the Dr's and was put on anti depressents for myself.I was shaking all the time and not dealing with things and was told I was on the verge of a nervous breakdown. Even despite this I still love this guy!I must be crazy....I won't stay on these drugs for long....I know just during all of this time I do need them so I know the days will get brighter for me....it's just finding them right now is the problem.I might book in and see a councellor......I do need support and am thinking about travelling down and seeing my family soon. Thanks for your post.
whichwayisup Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 He broke your heart, turned your life upside down. Ofcourse you're depressed about, everything changed so fast and you had NO say in the matter. That sucks. He stressed you out with his personal problems, so maybe he saw what it was doing to you and decided to leave...Still very wrong of him NOT to tell ya, and to just take off. Definately talk to your family and get support. It will take time, and working through this will be hard, but you will be okay.
Author Aussie65 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 He knew I was fine when he was with me,it was when he pulled away from me that I felt so bad and helpess.If he had just allowed me to be there for him like any loving girlfriend would be instead of closing off from me. He told me he was sick and needed to fix himself....but I just don't think he went about things the right way when he had the support he needed in me if only he would reach out!. I am desperately inlove with this guy....never felt this way about anyone and yes I do feel now he could have done this thinking of me but at the same time if he stayed and accepted me into his life and what I had to give him then I am sure we both could have worked through this together but I statred to feel like a burdon and maybe that's how he felt with me.....I may never know as I do not believe he will contact me again. I am angry and sent him a rather not so nice text saying a few things how I felt but what does he expect from me?I never got to speak with him in person,I never got to vent or cry or tell him hes a jer.k or anything....he left!so I was left with all this to face on my own without nothing from him and that's the hardest part is not knowing his mind....not knowing what's hes thinking or going through....is he crying over me?is he missing me?is he really falling apart and I have turned my back on him?or is he just a guy that's decided he no longer wants to be with me....I may never know and that is what kills me more then anything.
Author Aussie65 Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 OK update here...I text him asking for closure...I said if you don't want to be with me or never want to see me again just say so so I can get on with my life so he sents me this... "what I know is the heart is now love it never can hate" what the? HE WON'T TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON
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