Baybee9404 Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I have been with my boyfriend for 2 years now and we live together plus we have a joint checking account, Last night i asked him if he could please get me a deposit slip from the back of the check book and while he was handing the deposit slip to me, He said here you go DONNY AND MARLENE. Marlene is his ex girlfriend. My name is NICOLE NOT Marlene and the deposit slip says NICOLE AND DONNY. I got really upset with him when he said that and he was like omg im so sorry, i must have said that because i had a checking account with her too. I just walked away and havent said to words to him since. That hurt when he said that, ive been with him 2 years and you cant even get my name straight. Should i be worried about that screw up?
DarkShadows Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Wow, I would've ugh, broken up with him. Or left for a week and see how he would react. I don't think I could handle all that. My boyfriend was with his ex for 5 years. He thought he was in love with her, but wasn't. And about 85% of the stories he told me about his past involved her, so yeah I got a little jealous... but if he called me by her name I would flip. There would be hell on the loose and her name would be darkshadows. :x
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I guess my ex got lucky with finding someone with the same name as me Though I bet even with different names he woulden't even be able to slurrrr out my name with out wanting to throw up. haha
sourgirl Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 i have to confess, i have done this. thank god for me i was talking to my friends instead of talking to my boyfriend, because i never would have been able to talk my way out of it - but it was completely innocent. while my ex and i were together for four years, we've been apart for five years and i think about him so rarely that i nearly fell over i was so surprised i said his name. i don't know where it came from, and it hasn't happened since - but it happened. i certainly don't have any feelings for the guy anymore, he doesn't affect me negatively or positively - i think i just said his name so much in the day that i guess it came out kinda like muscle memory. like a song on the piano that you haven't played in years that you somehow remember, or lyrics to a song on the radio that you haven't heard since you were a kid - if someone asked, you wouldn't remember, but in context it seems to come out of nowhere. however - much like darkshadows, i've heard so much about my boyfriend's ex and have such little tolerance for her name in general that i would absolutely lose my mind if he called me her name. i can't imagine how horrible my reaction would be - even though i know how easily it can happen and how much it could mean nothing at all. my recommendation would be to try to let it go - i highly doubt that it means anything, and i bet he feels way worse about it than you do (hard to imagine, but i know how bad i felt so i know it's possible). if it were to happen again, or if he said her name during, say, sex... then i would be worried. but once out of the blue - i really think you two can work through it. good luck, let us know how it goes.
climbergirl Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Try not to get too upset by this...maybe something happened that day where she was on his mind, and could've been something benign and innocent. I have a story along these lines: My boyfriend and I were having sex and he asked, "Am I hurting you Kelly?"...well my name isn't Kelly! I got upset and he says, "I know your name isn't Kelly, it's **** dionne warwick." Well, my last name isn't Warwick! OK, that was funny and we both had to laugh! 20 years later I still love giving him sh*t about it. Anyway, it's possible something happened that day that made him think about her. It certainly doesn't mean he wants to be with her.
Adunaphel Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 No reason to be worried. I called my ex-bf with the names of a guy I had a crush on on high school, two other male friends of mine, and a female friend of mine. A female friend of mine calls the female version of the name of her *dog* , which is a particolarly annoying pug. She is always doing this. There are people that are more absent-minded than others. And slips that are connected to the fact that you are in a specific place that you used to hang around in with someone else happen all the time. Edited to change "bf" into "ex-bf". I broke up with him more than a year ago, I am 100% over him, and I tend to associate posting on LS with being with him!!! See? it happens all the time. and this was not on purpose, I promise!
Sand&Water Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Baybee9404, Question: Is this his first offense, or has he said it several times before? In my honest opinion, I don't think you should worry. The name slipped out his mouth, and as women know guys can be insensitive sometimes. Have a talk with him. Make it clear to him, that you are not comfortable with the mismatch. Stand up for yourself, and if he does it again do whatever is necessary [naughty or not].
DarkShadows Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 If he called you her name during sex I wouldn't tolerate it...
nicki Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 He probably just said her name because the checking account deposit slip triggered it. They had an account together. She probably asked for a slip and he gave her one, too. When he repeated that action with you, the earlier memory made him say her name. No big deal. But I understand how you feel. Unless he talks about her all the time and says her name often, I'd forget about it. The poster is right who said you both can work through this. Of course, I'd kid him a little bit about it. Like when he asks for the car keys, say, "Sure, Luke (or another guy's name.)" Then smile. Let it go, though. It doesn't sound like this is indicative of a bigger problem like other people have with exes.
HokeyReligions Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Old habits are hard to break. Hubby called me by his ex-gf's name sometimes for many years. Sometimes when I'm asking him something and hes not paying attention he has accidently called me "mom" & he can't stand his mother! It doesn't mean anything - laugh it off and call him your ex's name! He broke up with HER and is with YOU now - that's what matters, not a slip of the tongue from an old habit.
littlepiggy1 Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 He probably just did it out of his old habit. I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.
bella_girl Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I've done it too... I've said the name of my first boyfriend to my last boyfriend (and we'd broken up over 10 years ago... but we were together for 4 years so he was fairly important in my life). It's like 'where did that come from.' People are never happy about it, I've been on the receiving end too. My mum is alway calling me my brother's name, her partner's name, my dad's name, even the dog's name... It happens. If it was on a consistent basis or he talked about her constantly then I'd be worried, or shouting her name in initimate moments but other than that don't punish him for something he accidently said. Don't stop talking to him i think that's a bit harsh, just tell him you were upset, shocked, surprised and move on.
Recommended Posts