scaredinlove Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 i just told my MM to take a hike, he really annoyed this time. I told him I wont lie to him anymore and if his dear wife ever contacts me I will tell her the whole truth.He wants me to wait for him,he can't leave her , he wants to me to wait until she dies or dumps him that the only to ways he would leave her and bla bla bla. I have no feelings in my heart at this moment I feel like a rock.Maybe a little anger, I really start to see him in a different light. He said if I don't lie to his wife than I don't love him. I probably just gonna tell her to go and ask her husband and hang up.He thinks she will contact me since she can't take the truth out of him.I am afraid I will weaken later but right now I feel pretty strong and I feel that I am start to dislike him very much.
yousaveme Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 i just told my MM to take a hike, he really annoyed this time. I told him I wont lie to him anymore and if his dear wife ever contacts me I will tell her the whole truth.He wants me to wait for him,he can't leave her , he wants to me to wait until she dies or dumps him that the only to ways he would leave her and bla bla bla. I have no feelings in my heart at this moment I feel like a rock.Maybe a little anger, I really start to see him in a different light. He said if I don't lie to his wife than I don't love him. I probably just gonna tell her to go and ask her husband and hang up.He thinks she will contact me since she can't take the truth out of him.I am afraid I will weaken later but right now I feel pretty strong and I feel that I am start to dislike him very much. Stay strong...I cant believe he wants you to wait for that. He needs to tell his wife the truth. Not you....My MM's W called me when she found out. I really didnt know what she wanted me to say to her. When she asked me questions he answered, i didnt even have a chance to answer. I have to say at least he told her the truth. And he didnt put me in the situtation of blaming everything on me or telling me to lie to her. Stay strong its going to be hard. Its a process everyday. I know people are going to say Im no one to talk since im still in contact with him , but every situtation is different. You did what was best for you and your situtation.....
IngenueMisnomer Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I'm sorry you have to through this sacredinlove. This guy seems to be really lacking in integrity. To tell you that the only way he's going to leave is if she dies or dumps him is one thing, but to also ask you to wait for him until either of these things happen is unbelievable. That just goes to show he was in this A just for himself and doesn't really care about your best interest. In deciding whether or not to tell his wife if she contacts you, consider what would be best for you and try not to act out of spite or revenge for his betrayal of your love for him. But you did the right thing, like yousaveme said just hang in there and stay strong. You're better off without him.
whichwayisup Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 he wants to me to wait until she dies or dumps him that the only to ways he would leave her and bla bla bla. WTF. Get out now and don't look back. Stay strong. Your MM is a jerk and him telling you that he'll wait till she dies so he can be with you is SICK. Also, you lying to his wife is NOT a form of loving him. He knows this and is trying to make you feel guilty.
silktricks Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 right now I feel pretty strong and I feel that I am start to dislike him very much. He sounds like a class A creep. Dump him quick and get on with your life. Anyone who says the LYING is a form of loving is sick sick sick.
Seen_It_All Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 Anyone who says the LYING is a form of loving is sick sick sick. Obviously, all the guy KNOWS is how to lie. He's STILL doing it, even after getting caught. And p*ssy that he is, rather than step up to the plate and act like a MAN - FOR A CHANGE - he's willing to sell his OW down the river instead, telling her she has to lie for him. My, what a prince. I'm not even going to comment on this loser's statement about only leaving if his wife dies or dumps him. He's such a loser it doesn't even warrant an intelligent reply. I hope his wife throws his worthless a*ss out in the street. Seriously, how do you keep from puking on this crud's shoes?
Ladyjane14 Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I probably just gonna tell her to go and ask her husband and hang up.. This is good thinking. It's not necessary for you to play a game of 'fill-in-the-blank' for the wife. It's a bonus for her if you do.... but I don't think it's incumbent upon you to do so. You're not lying. You're not offering more than you're comfortable with offering. All in all... a good, middle-of-the-road, response.
Author scaredinlove Posted September 13, 2006 Author Posted September 13, 2006 Thanks guys for all your responses, things are still boiling.I don't think he is actually a bad person just a chicken BIG ONE.We have talked again and the A is over, and he understands now why I am not going to lie.I told him to tell his wife the truth.But he won't... I feel better now that I am walking away from him.It will a be long way but I will make it.Thanks for the support!
lovernotafighter Posted September 13, 2006 Posted September 13, 2006 this is and was (cause I'm ending my A right now (as of last Friday)) my biggest fear. that his wife would find out and MM would make up lies and trivialize our relationship to her instead of telling her the truth. my MM won't leave..so be it..but if he acted like our relationship was nothing and sold me down the river I would be destroyed, SIL I feel for you so much...I'm sorry your MM is such a huge assh*le that he wants you to wait perpetually for him..in a nut shell ,like mine, he said theres no chance at any kind of future besides a affair with him. so you are doing the best thing you can by ending it with him, you'll just keep getting hurt and nothing is going to erase the past besides him stepping up to the plate and doing right by you, which he won't, so don't destroy your dignity and stick around no matter what he says. (((SIL))) you can do this, I promise! I know for along time I couldn't and I finally feel indifferent towards him and it's the best thing that could of happened to me..that's is as much as possible at the moment. I keep playing the bullsh*t in my head and it's making me sick..just do that and when you hear his voice you'll want to throw up. be strong you can do this..we are here for you when you want to vent..just do it, it helps
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