Powermonger Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Just after a bit of advice or someone elses opinion about my current predicament. About three months ago I started a new job and within the first couple of weeks I got to chatting a very nice girl at work. We got on very well and flirted with other alot and singling out the each when we bumped into each other during the course of the day. I'm a bit of a slow mover, so after about 6 weeks or so I asked her out to lunch and she was happy to come. I wasn't 100% sure she liked me or was just being friendly. The first lunch date didn't happen as I was suddenly asked to begin work at 5am for a week and so the following week she asked me to lunch. The lunch date came and I was a bit nervous, I hadn't slept well the night before and by the time lunch came around I didn't feel hungry. She picked this nice quiet Korean restuarant to eat at and was worried I wouldn't like it. I said it would be fine so we order our meals and mine ended up being very large. During the course of the lunch we talked alot, I asked her a lot about herself and just general chit chat. Unfortunately, due to me talking and my lack of appetite (from nerves) I ate really slowly which she commented on. I only ended up eating half my lunch and she said next time we'll have fish and chips instead (I had it for lunch once and she was teasing me about it). Anyway, the next week at work (about three days later) I sent her a email and asked if she wanted to get together for lunch again this week. She wrote back saying that she'd be happy to go to lunch again but another week as she was getting over a cold. I couldn't detect any sign of a cold but I don't sit near her and hadn't really seen much of her at the start of the week. We did meet up in the work kitchen one morning and she was still her friendly happy self to me. Her decline made me think she wasn't interested anymore and I had also thought to myself over the weekend after the lunch that I needed to pull back a little. I really liked her and didn't want to pester her too much at work and disturb her work, she is always busy and concentrating on important projects. I didn't want to become an annoyance with my pursuit of her. It's been two weeks now since I last asked her to lunch and my own work has seen me doing different hours that I normally would, so I missed our normal morning chats in the kitchen. I haven't seeked her out much over the last two weeks, though when we have passed each other we are friendly to each other and she still occasionally flirts with me. Now I'm a little confused at the moment, either from my own stupidity or misreading her signals. When we see each other from the distance she looks at me and gives me a smile and waves, which I happily return. She doesn't seem to do this with anyone else. Last week we randonmly ran into other while coming back from the bathroom and she said that she liked my neck tie I was wearing. Today she visited one of my work mates and I was working away with headphones on listening to music. I noticed somebody walking up to him and glimpsed to the side and she looked at me and did a casual wave again but we didn't talk. Last week she visited him too and as he normally has a jar of peanuts on his desk, she grabbed a handful and then reached across my partition and gave me some. I didn't even know she was there at the time but once I noticed her I gladly accepted the peanuts. I then stood up to get some more and she playfully blocked me from getting any nuts by holding the jar and turning her back to me while smiling but then gave in and gave me another handful. Am I being a idiot and missing all the signals? Sometimes I feel like everything is fine but other times it's like there is no connection there anymore due to the fact we haven't communicated much over the last two weeks. It doesn't help that she is extremely hard to talk to as she is so busy concentrating on work and if I do want to talk to her I almost feel like I need to follow her which I am refraining from doing. The other difficulty is she is Chinese and her command of english is good but not great. I'm going to ask her out for lunch again tomorrow and see what her reaction is. Maybe I've just misinterpreted her and made things more difficult via my own actions. Sorry for rambling on so much.
Sand&Water Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Powermonger, Very well written post, I must say. I do believe she is interested. Or else, she wouldn't have made those specific movements (i.e. peanuts and such). She likes to tease you a little. I suggest you do the same, and have fun with her sillyness. You don't have to be serious all the time. In fact, if you don't play the field her interest will plummet. Do little things for her at the office, that shows you are interested. Do ask her out, for lunch. Even better, dinner. Be true to yourself. Be confident.
Author Powermonger Posted September 11, 2006 Author Posted September 11, 2006 Thanks...I'll talk to her today and see what happens. I guess I just needed to clear my head as my thoughts about the matter have been going back and forward, it was driving me nuts.
Author Powermonger Posted September 12, 2006 Author Posted September 12, 2006 Well I talked to her a bit today but there were others around so I wasn't able to ask her out to lunch then. Later I sent her a email asking if she wanted to catch up for lunch either later this week or next. She replied back saying thanks for asking but maybe another time. Her parents just flew in from China on the weekend and she said her mother is very thrilled to be making cooked lunches for her daughter again. It's strange because earlier in the day we made eye contact while she was walking up the hall at work to get her lunch and she was looking me in the eyes and smirking. I smiled back and returned the gaze. She walked passed again and I made a friendly comment about her lunch which she turned around and grinned at. Now just after I had sent her the email about lunch, she came by my desk again to talk with my work mate about something she needed help on. There was another peanut episode where she laughed and giggled and blocked me from getting to the peanut jar. I had to reach around her and grab it from her which she laughed at. I went back for more and she covered them up again saying I'll get fat. Also, at the end of her email reply she mentioned that she only had two teabags left of her favourite Jasmine tea, which she knows I like, and said she'll give me one tomorrow morning. We had met in the kitchen before lunch and she asked what tea I was drinking and just said some horrible tea. She told me then she only had a couple of bags left and I was most welcome to take one. So I'm all confused once again. Is she just toying with me or have I got faulty reception? One moment I feel like she really does still like me and then I get a strange email declining my lunch. I don't know what to make of it and wondering if I'm just wasting my time. Women complain about men being strange creatures, I don't know why women like to lead men up garden paths only to present them with dead ends.
littlekitty Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 Gosh man... stop over analysing the whole thing!! So her parents are over from China. That's why she said another time. She's still friendly and flirting with you, so it sounds very much like the truth. Except it for that, re-arrange lunch soon. And for gods sake, after that hurry up and ask her our for dinner...! It sounds like it's all good to go. Start following your heart, and stop over analysing it all... it just makes it 10 times harder on you!!
Sand&Water Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 Powermonger, I see that you are really into her. And, I mean really. Slow down a bit. She isn't going to fly away. Relax your brain for a few days, and try not to think about the situation too much. She clearly just wants to maintain that sense of infatuation between her and you for the time being. Her parents have come to visit. That's fine. She needs to spend time with them, as it is her top priority right now. Let her be for a couple of weeks. Just be yourself, and keep flirting with her as usual. After awhile, ask her out for dinner, or an event both of you can go to together. Then, see what happens from there. You don't always have to give her attention all the time. Do hold back a little every once in awhile. Do initiate contact, but make it fun and not just the same boring routine.
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