Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Me and my ex broke it off about 2 months ago and we dated for 5 yrs. He has recently came back into my life and we are very good friends..ok we will say with benefits.... He has a girlfriend..i know the most horrible part and is still in love with me. I know this is wrong what should i do? Should i keep on reminding him this is wrong and if he really loves me dump his girl. Or should i ride it out like the "good friend/ ex) and see where this will go?? i am soo clueless
Miss1984 Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 This is a hard truth, but this guy is 'having his cake and eating it' as they say. He can keep you as his 'friend' (even though it's more than that) while he strings along his girlfriend too. It's not fair on you or on the girlfriend and meanwhile he's having the best of both worlds! It seems he still cares about you and doesn't want to let you go, but meanwhile he is seeing what other girls there could be for him out there. He's unsure what he wants, but stringing you both along while he makes up his mind- he might never make up his mind! Has he ever suggested breaking up with her to be with you, or is it always you asking him to dump her? It's a horrible, horrible situation and it won't be resolved until YOU make a choice. Do you really want to be with this guy? If the answer is yes then that's only going to happen if he gets rid of the other girl. But, if you did start going out again wouldn't you be worried he'd see someone behind your back too? In answer to your question, my opinion is: nip this in the bud now. Tell him if he loves you he will dump her. Why does he even want to be with her if he's in love with you? If you ride it out as friends it could go on and on and end up making you very unhappy. Maybe you should both take some time away from each other while you decide what you really want and then stick to it. If you decide not to get back together then being FWB will only bring more pain so make sure it stops and if you find you can't then the only way to go is NC- at least for the time being. I hope this doesn't come across in a horrible way, it's not how I mean it at all. I have been in a sort of FWB situation with an ex myself (although there was no new GF) and it was destructive and painful. I hope you work this out in whatever way is best for you. Good luck x
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