To Mike (Letters, Songs, hatemail, anything, c'mere!!!)

[Jaded-Arie]

You've been my golden best friend

Now with post-demise at hand

Can't go to you for consolation

Cause we're off limits during this transition

This grief overwhelms me

It burns in my stomach

And i can't stop bumping into things

I thought we'd be simple together

I thought we'd be happy together

Thought we'd be limitless together

I thought we'd be precious together

But i was sadly mistaken

You've been my soulmate and mentor

I remembered you the moment i met you

With you i knew god's face was handsome

With you i suffered an expansion

This loss is numbing me

It pierces my chest

And i can't stop dropping everything

I thought we'd be sexy together

Thought we'd be evolving together

I thought we'd have children together

I thought we'd be family together

But i was sadly mistaken

If i had a bill for all the philosophies i shared

If i had a penny for all the possibilities i presented

If i had a dime for every hand thrown up in the air

My wealth would render this no less severe

I thought we'd be genius together

I thought we'd be healing together

I thought we'd be growing together

Thought we'd be adventurous togheter

But i was sadly mistaken

Thought we'd be exploring together

Thought we'd be inspired together

I thought we'd be flying together

Thought we'd be on fire together

But i was sadly mistaken

[Touche]

Ok, here's mine

 

You need friends now. This is a time to get yourself together and focus on something else other than the fact that you don't have a woman. It's a time to get yourself together. Enjoy yourself. She will come in time..but not if you're moping.

 

You put your best friend down. The friend who is there for you to play pool with you on the weekends. The one who probably also listens to your whining without complaint. The only one who will make time for you IRL. I've always thought that said a lot about you. Not a nice quality.

 

Another friend you blow away with no explanation. That's cold. Cold. Someone who has listened to MONTHS of your whining...and it WAS whining! Someone who REALLY tried to help. Someone who I thought made you feel wanted and good about yourself.

 

It's sad. It shows that you're not such a NICE guy. Why did that person deserve that kind of treatment? What did that person do?

 

Start thinking about how you treat people. Stop being so cold. Open your heart a little more. None of us are perfect. Be a little more accepting of others.

 

You suffer deep scars, it's plain to see. Scars that go WAY back...further than just your last break-up.

 

But we all suffer and have scars. We all have to do the best we can to overcome them. Are you even trying? Are you a survivor or do you fold up like a cheap camera when life doesn't go your way?

 

But don't push people away just because you're not in your "happy" place in life now. Don't do that anymore. It's just not nice.

 

 

She cared..She really, really did. I guess she still does. One flawed human being who felt she touched and was touched by another. She prays for your happiness every day.

[Jaded-Arie]

I would never send this to you, am way too cool, I don't do letters.... lol. But here's the thing, its been 2 and a half months now, yes, I have thrown myself into my work, have had dates, but I still think of you sometimes. Alot. I am sorry it couldn't work out, sorry for you, as I did hurt you, sorry for me, because I didn't know how to love you, and sorry for us, because a beacon of great hope was shattered. In our last correspondence you said, in closing, a part of you would always love me, and you know it it true for me too.

 

I trully wanna keep contact with you, but if I can be true to myself and you too, I can't be your friend, not now, not, I don't know. You really are the most beautiful person, in all senses, that I have ever known, and I would never like to lose that person. But from where I am now, I can't be your friend, because I still love you.

 

I do hope that maybe in time, I can get over you, then talk to you, see you, and be a true friend. Happy for whatever is going on in your life. At this point, I am really hurting, I try to disguise it, my favourite 'Modus Operandus'.

 

On one hand, it actually is good, but there are times, that I just sit here, and a memory crosses my mind, on a good day, I smile, on a bad day, like now, the memory pierces through my chest.

 

Losing you hurts, especially knowing that I brought that on myself.

 

I love you, and will always do, as a person. I sincerely wish you all the best, you deserve it.

 

Knowing you has changed my life, and I am greatful for that. You did say that we were compatible on almost all levels, and I agree.

 

I am not here holding a candle, but if the stars and whatever the eff are aligned at one point.... You will always have a special place in my heart. You were my ultimate love, maybe to you it is a laugh.

 

You did have the best of me, my best wasn't enough though at the time, not for you. Thinking back, I woulda dumped me hadn't I been me... .

 

You told me that you (cynically) saw us together again, when I sort myself out. I actually laughed. Thinking: What makes you think that I will still be pining over you then.... lol.

 

I want you to know, I love(d) you, as a human being. You were the greatest BF I have ever had, and lets not talk about the sex .

 

But I ****ed it up.

 

Babe, you are a great person and deserve a cool woman who meets all your needs.

 

Love you........

 

*maybe in a month, we can give the friend thing another go*

 

 

 

http://www.azlyrics.com/lyrics/alanismorissette/simpletogether.html

[Touche]

Aww..that's sad, Jaded. I'm sorry for your heartbreak. Thank you for starting this thread though. It's always good to get things off our chests. Writing can be so therapeutic.

 

That letter you wrote sounds JUST like a million I used to write to my ex whenever we did the break-up/make-up thing. He's a distant memory now. Sometimes, love just isn't enough. It's sad but it's oh so true. I was very lucky in finding both love AND compatibility the second time around.

 

I wish you the same fate, Jaded. And thanks again for starting this thread!

[Jaded-Arie]

Aww..that's sad, Jaded. I'm sorry for your heartbreak. Thank you for starting this thread though. It's always good to get things off our chests. Writing can be so therapeutic.

 

That letter you wrote sounds JUST like a million I used to write to my ex whenever we did the break-up/make-up thing. He's a distant memory now. Sometimes, love just isn't enough. It's sad but it's oh so true. I was very lucky in finding both love AND compatibility the second time around.

 

I wish you the same fate, Jaded. And thanks again for starting this thread!

 

 

Touche, that is why I like this board. I coulda written that letter as email and sent it, what good would it have done??? I just decided to have a thread where everyone can voice what they can't to their exes (btw, I believe in NC, voicing nothing as they have decided to end it). So here, all the hate/anger/love/stalk/ letters can be aired.

 

Its write whatever and post it HERE not to HER/HIM.

 

I am glad that you have found happiness. I know I will too, because I deserve it . Yeah, am so full of myself... lol. I would never give back loving and losing my EX, I believe that it was really worth it. People always come into our lives to TEACH us about ourselves, and teach me he did. He joked one time that the next guy is gonna get an 'emotionally stable kick assss girl', and it wasn't 'fair'... lol. He's funny like that....

 

The hurt isn't that much, it come strongly, periodically, where my chest hurts and I cry, I let it out, actually bawl, but I have you guys here. I know that I will be OK. One day I will be really OK.

 

My EX is such a nice guy. And I KNOW that one day, I will be at a point where I KNOW that I will be happy for him having a good woman with him. I am scared that I might even get to a stage where I am vigilante of his women, coz I think he deserves the best. The best (for him) not being me, btw....

[Touche]

Ok, well first let me say that I hope it's ok but my post wasn't about an ex. I'll leave it at that. Hope that's ok and that we can just post about anything we want to get off our chests concerning any kind of relationship.

 

And yes, you're so right. Sending what you've posted would have made no difference to him and would have only set YOU back in your healing. LS is a great place, I agree.

 

Don't say you are full of it! We ALL deserve to have happiness on this earth while we're here. And I completely agree with you about the part about not regretting loving and losing him. I feel the same about my ex but I just wish that it would have happened in less than the NINE years that it took! Sheesh! But I learned a LOT from my experiences with him. And I never would have been able to love and appreciate the wonderful husband I have now were it not for him. (That sounds so terrible..but hey, it's the truth!)

 

I know about the hurt. It really DOES pass though. You'll see. You experience it in waves, just like you are. But eventually, it DOES go.

 

I understand about your wanting the best for him. I really do. You're wise to realize that you're not it, if that's the case. I can relate to that too.

 

Hang in there, girl!

[Jaded-Arie]

Ok, well first let me say that I hope it's ok but my post wasn't about an ex. I'll leave it at that. Hope that's ok and that we can just post about anything we want to get off our chests concerning any kind of relationship.

 

And yes, you're so right. Sending what you've posted would have made no difference to him and would have only set YOU back in your healing. LS is a great place, I agree.

 

Don't say you are full of it! We ALL deserve to have happiness on this earth while we're here. And I completely agree with you about the part about not regretting loving and losing him. I feel the same about my ex but I just wish that it would have happened in less than the NINE years that it took! Sheesh! But I learned a LOT from my experiences with him. And I never would have been able to love and appreciate the wonderful husband I have now were it not for him. (That sounds so terrible..but hey, it's the truth!)

 

I know about the hurt. It really DOES pass though. You'll see. You experience it in waves, just like you are. But eventually, it DOES go.

 

I understand about your wanting the best for him. I really do. You're wise to realize that you're not it, if that's the case. I can relate to that too.

 

Hang in there, girl!

 

Its all good, this is a thread to air whatever we are feeling but wouldn't dare send/say/IM/Blackberry/Morsecode/etc/ to the other person. I know that I will find happiness, but hear the crazy in me, I really believe that, one day in time, my ex and I will get back together .

 

Although as I said, I am not holding a candle. This man was hurt by the breakup, he says I forced him to break up with me (I did, I have issues), he has never loved anyone the way he did me, why he let a lot of things slide with me. I TAUGHT him about who he was, as a person and a sexual person. He said (all above and this) I am the only woman who has ever stimulated him mentally, intellectually, sexually and otherwise. he wishes I can sort my issues out (I am seeing a therapist for my issues), because I am a great person with a killer personality. he doesn't wanna lose my friendship because I am the only person he can just chill with .

 

Our last contact, (He initiated), he said he would never wanna lose the contact as I was his really trully best friend. A part of him will always love me as he believes, at this point that I was the one. But for now, he still likes me because I am full of personality that awakenes something in him that has lied domant all the time. He is 43.

 

OMG!!! I am sounding like Ariadne, before I know it, I'll be slicing my wrist to sign a letter and camping out at his place with binaculars .

 

As you can see, I have hope, but being the cynic that I am, I am not holding any candles, I am in my late 20's and life goes on.

[Mollyanna]

Pretending not to notice

not to care if something's wrong

or may be right

if only at a different time - a different place

 

Showing only how I feel

if it serves the purpose

or the person

who doesn't give a damn anyway

 

Trying not to cry

when I always feel alone

although with friends

but those who can't fulfill

 

Learning carefully the lessons

that can prove to be dangerous

that turn me into a whirlwind only set in confusion

and leave me drowning in my emotions.

[Jaded-Arie]

Please TELL ME TO STOP!!!! Sending that letter as email is looking so right right now. Somebody please stop me.

[Jaded-Arie]

Problem solved. I just deleted him from my email addresses. I will get in contact when the time is right, maybe in a year, will google him, he is Googlable...lol.

 

I found it is so easy to key in a letter and outlook is there, daring you to send it, send it!

 

[Mollyanna]

It's not going to do you any good to send it. You just lose a little of his respect. You come across as desperate and anxious. If he is scared, you push him further away with any contact at all. If he is uncertain, he feels rushed to make a decision.

 

He knows you love him. And there is no sense in warning him that in a month you would like to be friends. He is not the one worried about that, you are. So you are doing nothing for him in this letter - it only serves to make you feel better. It is an emotional release. Find another release. Go exercise, dance to a music video, sing at the top of your lungs. I would tell you some of my other coping methods, but I might get yelled at for those so I will leave you with just the healthy ones!

[Mollyanna]

Problem solved. I just deleted him from my email addresses. I will get in contact when the time is right, maybe in a year, will google him, he is Googlable...lol.

 

I found it is so easy to key in a letter and outlook is there, daring you to send it, send it!

 

 

OK, now delete messages from your Sent Items and Deleted Items folders too!

[Touche]

Jaded, you're too funny! By the way, my ex was 43 when I met him and I was in my mid-twenties. Weird. We broke up for one year and then got back together and became engaged. WHAT a big mistake. Hope you guys don't make the same mistake I did.

 

I thought he was the love of my life. We clicked on every level. He was the smartest man I had ever met..genius IQ, a sense of humor to beat all and very, very sexy. He said I was his soulmate. We just couldn't live with each other and we couldn't live without each other.

 

He had very big issues though...major issues. We were like oil and water together really. It was so volatile. My mom always told me that the only way we'd ever rid ourselves of each other and get each other out of our systems once and for all was for us to get married. BOY, was she RIGHT! That did the trick all right.

 

I PRAY, you don't have to go through all that to find out that it's possibly just not meant to be. The pain of divorce is NOTHING compared to just a breakup. I've been through both and there's just NO comparison.

 

Divorce is SO much worse. Think about it. You take vows to stand by each other and love each other and support each other FOR THE REST OF YOUR LIVES! And when you take those vows you REALLY, I mean REALLY believe them.

 

It's the WORST kind of pain imaginable to realize that you were wrong. That you not only will not spend the rest of your life with this person, but for your own well-being you can never see them again or talk to them again.

 

Now THAT'S a pain, to put it in perspective, that can only be compared to the death of a loved one.

 

So be VERY careful about your wishes and hopes that you will get together again..it rarely works out, Jaded. We both worked out our issues, or so we thought, during the year we were apart. Nope, it just didn't take. We are what we are and who we are. And you're either compatible or you're not. Even WITH all your issues, there's SOMEONE out there who will love you as you ARE. I'm not saying you shouldn't try to change but it's going to work or it's not. And there's no guarantees that your changes will "take" if you get my drift.

 

DON'T send the letter, Jaded. Trust me on this one. DON"T DO IT!

 

Molly, your poem touched me. Hang in there you sweetheart. You'll be ok.

[Jaded-Arie]

OK, now delete messages from your Sent Items and Deleted Items folders too!

 

You are a hardasss bitch arent you??? You KNOW I am not gonna delete those sent and deleted items, they are my memories goddamnitt!!!! . But I know I will not contact him, why I started this thread, to air whatever one would say to an ex. Today was my lowest, I really felt lonely, and sad, and I thank you guys who responded. This site rocks!!!

 

Confession: Some friends and I were hanging out today, AT THE RESTAURANT WE HAD OUR FIRST DATE AT!!! Explains the sadness, but I did text him: "Guess where I am, at ***********, so and so and so are hanging out with me (girl friends), just thought of you, hope you are having a great day" . He replied: "Having a great day, blazing hot here, living at the beach, hope you are good too".

 

Doesn't get friendlier than that does it????

 

Btw, I hope you knowthat I am joking with the name calling.

[Mollyanna]

lol I know. I kept emails from the previous ex for over 6 months before I could get rid of them. But it was only after I deleted them that I started to move on and get over him. Because prior to that, I read and re-read the emails over and over and over again, trying to analyze and read into what went wrong. I drove myself crazy and kept the pain fresh and alive.

 

I hope you don't do that to yourself. Hang in there. LS has definitely been a great support system for me. People like Touche keep me in check.

[Touche]

Thanks so much, Molly! Now who the hell is going to keep ME in check!?

 

Stop analyzing the emails Jaded. You'll only drive yourself crazy. And stop texting him. You need to move on. He knows how to get in touch with you if he needs to.

[Jaded-Arie]

Thanks so much, Molly! Now who the hell is going to keep ME in check!?

 

Stop analyzing the emails Jaded. You'll only drive yourself crazy. And stop texting him. You need to move on. He knows how to get in touch with you if he needs to.

 

 

i dont read the emails, havent even once after we broke up. But like I have stored the stuff he gave to me, I choose to keep the emails. One day I will look at them with no pain. He was part of my life and I can never erase that. The emails are about ME not him. They are part of my life, my life story. Kinda like keeping love letters in the noughties, LOL. I also don't wanna get back together at this moment.

 

Btw, this was the first time I contacted him after the breakup *blush*

[Jaded-Arie]

Thanks so much, Molly! Now who the hell is going to keep ME in check!?

 

Stop analyzing the emails Jaded. You'll only drive yourself crazy. And stop texting him. You need to move on. He knows how to get in touch with you if he needs to.

 

I havent read the emails since we broke up. They are in a separate folder. I choose to keep them, they are my life story, kinda like keeping love letters in the noughties... lol. They are stored somewhere in my PC like all the other things he gave to me, they are also stored in a box. had my boxing day day 2 of breakup.

 

The emails are not about him or analyzing or wanting to get back together, but this man was part of my life and I feel that I dont have to erase every ounce of him.

 

Thanks guys, I did not send it . I am doing fine now. The emotions were brought on by some Martinis and the fact that we were at that restaurant.