life_take2 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I'm numb. It's so surreal. A year ago, I was happily married. Now...the memories of those 25 years seem so distant. Three years ago she said she didn't love me anymore and thought the marriage was over. We went through counseling and addressed some issues. But I guess the true issues were much deeper and were beyond repair. I guess we just grew apart over the years. We had a nice home, no kids, did a lot of traveling together, and had a wonderful dog that we trained really well. I was totally committed to her. Geez...it all seemed so perfect. It's all gone now. What's weird is that I miss being with someone, but I really don't miss her. Maybe that's because this went down over a number of years. I really beat myself up about the failure of our marriage, at first. I felt responsible. But I didn’t do anything wrong. I loved her so much. But it really is the combination of the two people, isn't it? She simply said that she didn't love me anymore...that I didn't turn her on. I don't know if there is someone else or what her plan is. I guess it doesn't matter. I know that I am a good person and have a lot to offer. Other women DO find me attractive. But what is most difficult is living alone. So many people say how wonderful it is...that you can do what you want, etc. But it's hard. I realize now that I have NEVER lived alone. I know...deep down...that this is a healthy thing to go through now. Better late than never, I guess. It's a time of soul searching and self-discovery. Finding out what "I" like rather than what "WE" like. It’s harder than I thought. I realize now how much compromising I did. I am not religious, but I feel that things happen for a reason. I am hopeful that going through this painful period is just a step toward something better. It's hard being a sensitive guy and going through this, though. I am anxious for the hurt, anger, and disappointment to fall away, so I can regain my self-esteem and strength and start to feel excited about this next stage of my life. At 47, at least I feel that I am still young enough to get through this and thrive once again.
PWSX3 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Thanks for the post, I am 46 and we are just going thru a separation which I posted and we were married for 25 years. Even though it sounds like it is a tuff thing to go thru you have been doing a good job of it and it sounds like you are already learning that you aren't such a bad guy and there are other woman interested in you even if its just talking. We just started our trial separation but like so many people on the board have told me you just need to worry about yourself & everything will be O.K. even if it wasn't what you expected you will be a better person because of it. I wish you the best!
umbo Posted September 15, 2006 Posted September 15, 2006 Lifetake2 I recommend a website for you just take time to read it and tell me what you think.nomarriage.com Tells why we in america have so many failed marriages and what to do. Look you life is not over I might not have any children because I may be getting a divorce married 7 years no kids.
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