I am hurting tonight!

[Rooster_DAR]

My god, the tears just won't stop. I really thought I was past this but I was wrong. I don't feel like a man, I feel like a pathetic loser. I'm such a hipocrit, I sit here and give other people advice, yet at times like this I can't even practice what I preach. I guess that's what I get for drinking at a singles bar, but I thought it might do me some good to get out.

 

roost

[Pyro]

It is good to get out, but you definitely need to watch the alcohol intake. The alcohol tends to bring the emotions out full swing. Don't be so hard on yourself. It does suck and it does hurt when a break-up occurs. Just realize that getting over it takes time and patience. You are going to hurt along the way, but as each day goes by, the closer you are to getting over the break-up.

[Rooster_DAR]

Perhaps a bar is the wrong place for me to be right now. Your right, the alchohol seems to bear down really hard on my emotions. Thanks for the quick response, withouth this website I would truly be in a mess.

 

[Confuggled_one]

hey rooster,

i hope you feel better. you are a great member to this society and i can say thank you on behalf of everyone. i know heart breaks are hard cause im currently going through one myself, but just hang in there.. chill with your friends and just talk about it. and plus you are popular. you got everyone on LS for ya k? cheer up buddy.. i know words dont really help now but i really mean it

[Joyvke]

Come on Rooster. You might have heard it before, but you'll get better eventually . And you are a man. Men can cry as well, nothing wrong with emotions. The Riddler has a good point about this.

 

*big hug for you*

[Josalina]

u poor thing, i know exactly how u feel, once you start you cant stop yeah?

I get like that sometimes, i have been tearful this morning, its worring really people say it gets better with time but i'm not sure if it does?

how long have u been apart?

could you maybe plan something in a few days to look forward to, that way your energy is being focused on something positive?

 

u can do this, i know its hard but be strong for yourself and if you feel you need to cry, let it out as if not it will come out in other ways, and then brush yourself down and get out there.

i am a fine one to talk i know but please stay positive.

[swirly27]

Sorry Roo that you are hurrting so much on that night. I agree with the alcohol though, I haven't drank much in over a month and I don't plan on it for awhile. A glass of wine here or there, but thats it. My drunk self would be bawling a mess (which I sometimes do sober lol) and I would be drunk dialing and NO WAY do I need that. Going to the singles bar was good to get out and see friends or meet people....but maybe not to have more than a beer or two.

 

Yes, how long have you been broken up with your ex? (sorry if I missed that on another post). Planning something as a big distraction or something to treat yourself is a great idea!! What about a trip or a new project? Thats what I am working on....looking for new living room furiture, planning a yard sale, decorating, things like that. I even thought of taking a cooking class, just for fun! You'll get thru this, tonight was just a hard night. We all can give the best advice when its not us that is feeling that other's pain. Crying it out or any other way to purge the pain is only beneficial as well. Hope you are feeling a bit better now!

[Rooster_DAR]

We've been seperated for about 4 months (I moved out), but we ended (or rather she ended it) it about a month ago. I changed all my phone numbers, I could not stand the back and forth thing anymore. One day it was "If we reconcile, I want to marry you" the next day it was "There is no us anymore".

 

One of the things she stated to me at the time we were separating is that grown men should'nt cry, or not as much as I did. That really screwed me up because I always thought women wanted men who were in touch with their emotions, but I guess not her. (I'm leaning back toward alpha male personality now, and very cautious about who I cry around and where)

 

If she only knew the reasons I was sensitive, perhaps she would understand why I got that way. Watching your best friend/lover abandon themselves and pull away does very weird things to you. One of the weird things it did to me was bring out sensitivity, mood changes, and grief.

 

Oh well that's part of my story, maybe I will get the ***s to post the whole thing later.

 

Thanks people for the support I feel much better now.

 

[JamesM]

We've been seperated for about 4 months (I moved out), but we ended (or rather she ended it) it about a month ago. I changed all my phone numbers, I could not stand the back and forth thing anymore. One day it was "If we reconcile, I want to marry you" the next day it was "There is no us anymore".

 

One of the things she stated to me at the time we were separating is that grown men should'nt cry, or not as much as I did. That really screwed me up because I always thought women wanted men who were in touch with their emotions, but I guess not her. (I'm leaning back toward alpha male personality now, and very cautious about who I cry around and where)

 

If she only knew the reasons I was sensitive, perhaps she would understand why I got that way. Watching your best friend/lover abandon themselves and pull away does very weird things to you. One of the weird things it did to me was bring out sensitivity, mood changes, and grief.

 

Oh well that's part of my story, maybe I will get the ***s to post the whole thing later.

 

Thanks people for the support I feel much better now.

 

 

I have not experienced your pain, but I do kinda understand.

 

My comment is to be yourself. IF you cry alot, go for it. If you don't, fine. But when you try to be something you aren't, then you come off as not true to yourself. My wife has wondered why I don't cry more. I can't...sorry. But if I tried, it would be just that. Yet there are times that my emotions get the best of me, and the tears do spill over.

 

Whomever is lucky enough to be the next and hopefully last person in your life deserves to be with the real you. You will be happier and so will she.

[burning 4 revenge]

Never cry in front of a woman, I don't care if it's your own mother

[Guest]

I've cried everyday since my boyfriend of a year broke up with me over a month ago on the phone. He said he would call to come get his things- and never did.

There was little explanantion, just a lot of anger on his part... and he gave me no opportunity to ask questions or get closure.

 

I deleted him from my MSN and removed his pictures and e-mails.... but the pain still persists. I think of him 24 hours a day, dropped 10 pounds and can barely sleep. I know what you are going through- and it sucks.

 

I called once to get my keys back- but that was three weeks ago and he never returned the call or sent me my keys.

 

I too am devastated.

I don't understand how you could spend a year together and then just walk away without any feelings.

[garnet]

I personally have respect for a man who is not afraid to show his emotions. I have had plenty of so called "manly" men cry in front of me. I don't think it's unmanly at all...it is human.

[Josalina]

it shows u r sensitive, u care and are more of a man to show your emotions and if she can't see that then u r better of without her.

No woman is worth your tears, and the one who is, won't make you cry.

 

my friend sent me a text: maybe god wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one, so that when we finally meet the person, we will know how to be greatful.

it may not b true but it made me lol

[riobikini]

Rooster,

 

Whenever a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that this big imaginary steel door with forty locks and a super-sensitive computerized security system automatically shuts out your emotions regarding your lost love.

 

(Smile)

 

If the problem(s) couldn't be worked out and you couldn't bear the contact after the split, I think it made good sense that you changed your phone numbers and found ways to disconnect from further contact.

 

In cases where even one of the partners is unwilling to compromise, truly make fresh, new, sincere commitments, and apply genuine effort in working out the problem(s), allowing recurring contact amounts to deliberately pouring salt into your wounds (certainly not recommended), and unless you are just naturally born a little more hard-headed than most, are being grossly mislead by delusional hopes, or have a weird liking to pain, I think what you did was a rational act of self-protection.

 

Four months (for you) doesn't sound like enough time to be expecting certain strong emotions to have disappeared. Look, the time it takes to heal from a breakup is different in every situation and works on an individual -highly personal- basis.

 

Speaking soley from a physiological standpoint, those hormones that inspired some of what you may have felt during the relationship (and are probably currently feeling) are still floating around in your body. They don't just up and exit the moment someone drops out of your life. They have to take the natural route -and in their own time.

 

I personally believe that one of the crucial steps in allowing healing from a broken heart -especially in those situations where the relationship was "bad" for you, or where there is no genuine effort shown on the part of one or both partners in rebuilding a healthier relationship- is to avoid continued contact, or immediate recontact in order to prevent those emotions from being "re-inspired" in regards to their production.

 

In other words, give the hormones a chance to "die down" in regards to the volume in which they were being produced physically or physiologically speaking.

 

If you find that the emotional aspect of breaking up is too difficult to go through alone, there is never any shame in seeking professional counseling to get you through it.

 

Friends, family, and sites like Loveshack are helpful -even the strongest of us need a really good sounding board, sometimes- but in some cases, it helps to have access to someone who has a strong, reputable background and with whom you do not have a personal, social relationship.

 

If you need that kind of help -by all means- get it.

 

As for the drinking alcohol; you are well aware, by now, that the effect isn't a good one (Smile) -so try to avoid it, at least for awhile until you've regained much more ground emotionally with the breakup.

 

I hope I am saying some things here that will help you.

 

As for the tears, that goes along with the territory and males as well as females are subject.

 

Right now, because of the state of your emotions, crying is almost expected and certainly acceptable.

 

Just be careful not to "wallow" too much in the dark hole of your own self-pity, -it's a comfort blanket that gets too cozy and you are vulnerable enough to get trapped in that zone, which will only prolong your recovery.

 

You seem to be par for the course of a normal breakup, Rooster -stay in the site. You'll have weak moments and strong moments.

 

During the weak ones you might tie yourself to this imaginary whipping post and other times, do a little wallowing, or a combination of both.

 

During the strong moments, you'll get up the courage to things you are hopeful will make you feel better (like writing supportive posts to others in Loveshack).

 

But the important thing is to keep moving forward. You might slip, but chances are that you won't fall if you just go with the natural flow of the terrain.

 

I'm rooting for you.

 

(Smile)

 

Take Care.

 

-Rio

[alphamale]

One of the things she stated to me at the time we were separating is that grown men should'nt cry, or not as much as I did. That really screwed me up because I always thought women wanted men who were in touch with their emotions,

excreting a salty discharge from the ocular region is the kiss of death for men (in women's eyes). You should never do this unless under certain conditions like when your mom dies or your favourite football team loses in the SuperBowl and you lost $10,000 on the bet. Women think that men who cry incessantly are weak and effeminate (and so do other men BTW). I want you to cease and decist the behaviour immediately.

 

Also...don't listen to what women say or want. Follow your masculine instincts and you'll never go wrong.

[Kinger25]

It Takes Rain ...

 

Things May Look a Little Cloudy Now....

But they`ll get better soon.......

just remember that it`s true:

it takes rain to make rainbows,

lemons to make lemonade,

and sometimes it takes difficulties

to make us stronger and better people.

the sun will shine again soon ... you`ll see

[Brittanyjean06]

ROOSER! AW I'm sorry

 

How long have you been broken up? and what happend

 

Sorry I never asked before

[jec]

well i think you look far too fit (that means hot if you're not british, sorry i didn't check) to be crying over some dense bitch who was too stupid to see what you had!

 

that being said, as i've posted to other threads, there is nothing you can do to make someone care if they don't. why waste your tears on that? save them for something really important, which she isn't to you anymore.

 

mine has just stopped calling after a 3 year rollercoaster in which he hit me (not hard but is there any such thing?), slept with loads of other girls and said, just 3 weeks after my mother died, that i needed to stop "milking it". i tell you, i'd barely mentioned it because it makes me feel like i'll start screaming and never stop.

 

and i am still gutted, even over the loss of someone my friends hated and who treated me like ****. mostly because he has got some skinny pretty thing who doesn't know what he's like. yet.

 

but i won't let him know how gutted i am. pride is cold and hard but it feels better than wet cheeks and sore eyes. trust me!

[Rooster_DAR]

excreting a salty discharge from the ocular region is the kiss of death for men (in women's eyes). You should never do this unless under certain conditions like when your mom dies or your favourite football team loses in the SuperBowl and you lost $10,000 on the bet. Women think that men who cry incessantly are weak and effeminate (and so do other men BTW). I want you to cease and decist the behaviour immediately.

 

Also...don't listen to what women say or want. Follow your masculine instincts and you'll never go wrong.

 

I agree with you and BurningForRevenge! I know some people here are going to disagree with this mindset, but it has merit and I've known this for a long time.

 

And don't worry, I have set up a homemade lifesize "Mike Tyson" boxer in my living room, programmed it to beat me into oblivion, and he's been beating the **it out of me for weeks. I think I actually connected and put a few scratches back on him, yeah baby.

 

[Rooster_DAR]

well i think you look far too fit (that means hot if you're not british, sorry i didn't check) to be crying over some dense bitch who was too stupid to see what you had!

 

Now those are some words I can live with jec!

[Rooster_DAR]

ROOSER! AW I'm sorry

 

How long have you been broken up? and what happend

 

Sorry I never asked before

 

 

Hi Brittany!

 

I will get into my story sometime, just not right now. I am still coming to terms with my mistakes in the failure, and digging into a little self improvement.

[Rooster_DAR]

Rooster,

 

Whenever a relationship ends, it doesn't mean that this big imaginary steel door with forty locks and a super-sensitive computerized security system automatically shuts out your emotions regarding your lost love.

 

I'm rooting for you.

 

(Smile)

 

Take Care.

 

-Rio

 

riobikini, you need to stop being so intelligent your making me feel mentally inferior. Seriously, judging by your spin on things and the philosphies you introduce, I'm would think you are a professional phyciatrist or social analyst. Your advice is great and I listen to everything you have to say.

 

roost

[Rooster_DAR]

Okay, I'm being compulsive now, I think I'm the only one left posting to this thread.

 

D'oh!

[riobikini]

re:

 

Rooster: " riobikini, you need to stop being so intelligent your making me feel mentally inferior. Seriously, judging by your spin on things and the philosphies you introduce, I'm would think you are a professional phyciatrist or social analyst. Your advice is great and I listen to everything you have to say."

 

(Smile)

 

Rooster -( attempting to e-x-t-r-a-c-t myself from the category of people with really big brains who cannot relate well to others and are more or less, often vast, empty human sacks of boredom....shouldn't be too difficult).....

 

I'm just a simple gal from Tennessee (the eastern part) -where we aren't supposed to be any smarter than the hillbilly influence derived from television shows and tall tales.

 

Here, we constantly live with the stigma of Clampetthood, other's ideas of what it means to live within a few miles of Dollywood, a few kinda embarrassing politcal blunders, (but a couple of pretty good football teams), and most of us just smile and -politely, in true southern style- leave the rest of the misinformed world to its (very wrong) perceptions, so as not to embarrass them.

 

(Smile)

 

In the meantime, all I am about in this site is just passing along a little of the " I've-been-there" type of info from my own personal experiences and what I have learned from my observation and relationships with others.

 

I think that's something we are *required* to do as human beings: be available, be helpful. It not only gives strength and hope to someone who desperately needs it, but you wind up getting some of it, too.

 

Still rooting for you -there in the heart of Texas.

 

Now, y'all take care, -ya hear?

 

(Smile)

 

-Rio