loveinlife Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Even a year from now, I still have feelings for my ex. I still love this woman, eventhough she is with someone else. Sometimes I wonder will I completely get over this love for her. I dunno. I feel like if you love someone you will never get over them, at this moment. Any answers to this dilema? How do you guys/girls feel about your ex?
Values Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Mine cheated on me and treated me like crap behind my back. I think she has some mental problems and I don't mean that in cliche kind of way. Still I considered my time with her to be spent with the most beautiful and wonderful girl on the planet even though I know she ruined my life and the lives of others. She basically had no respect or love for me what so ever when our relationship ended. The thoughts of the bad things she did and might have done are driving me crazy. Really crazy. I don't want to love her or think about her anymore, but I still do. I need to let her completely go but haven't been able to. Now she's engaged to another guy. You ask do you ever get over them? I don't know. I hope so. The thought of me holding onto these feelings for years to come scares and depresses me. That would truly make life not worth living.
Author loveinlife Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Values, I absolutely agree with you. Mine treated me like crap too. But still have these love feelings for her like yours. Sometimes, I think myself as psycho as too. Like what is wrong with me to still love this person. I understand how you feel. How long has it been for you?
the_alchemyst Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Yes, and I declare myself and idiot for it.
lindya Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Even a year from now, I still have feelings for my ex. I still love this woman, eventhough she is with someone else. Sometimes I wonder will I completely get over this love for her. I dunno. I feel like if you love someone you will never get over them, at this moment. Any answers to this dilema? How do you guys/girls feel about your ex? If it was a relationship that lasted for a few years, I don't think it's abnormal to still have feelings for someone even after a year. The feelings just gradually die away, until eventually the memory that they were once a big part of your life feels slightly surreal. Like thinking back to an event and questioning whether it actually happened or if it was just part of a strange dream you once had.
Values Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Values, I absolutely agree with you. Mine treated me like crap too. But still have these love feelings for her like yours. Sometimes, I think myself as psycho as too. Like what is wrong with me to still love this person. I understand how you feel. How long has it been for you? It's been almost 7 months for me. I've had some okay times throughout the summer but never back to normal. The problem with mine was that she was super sweet with a smile and a sugar filled comment. I sometimes took care of her like a parent cares for a child. I valued her mind and body beyond comprehension. She lied to me horribly, almost like it was a sport to her and I never knew. The thoughts of her being with other guys haunts me constantly. I'm ready to let her go, but it's like trying to stop loving a child. Of course I thought of her like a gf too, but I just wanted to protect her from anything bad, and she has made me pay dearly. I really think she somehow traded mental places with me, I was doing well before I met her and now I'm nothing and she's on cloud 9 as far as I can tell. Ready to forget her.
Author loveinlife Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Yes, and I declare myself and idiot for it. I am joining your party!
Stardust06 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I definately do NOT still love my ex (ugh) I got over him after endless reconciliations and second chances that were futile attempts on his part to suck me back in his drama. Like the saying goes "Trying to rescue a drowning man you just get sucked down with him". Now I look back and feel I wasted so much time on him and I just go "YUK". I did love him but he did so many things that turned me off and killed any feelings I had for him. (He was a royal jackass). I gave him way too many chances.........I should have stuck a fork in it and called it DONE the first time I broke up with him!
Author loveinlife Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Stardust06, were you the the dumper or dumpee in the first time when you guys broke up?
magichands Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 The feelings just gradually die away, until eventually the memory that they were once a big part of your life feels slightly surreal. Like thinking back to an event and questioning whether it actually happened or if it was just part of a strange dream you once had. This is exactly my experience. (And I flushed the evidence, so maybe it was just part of a strange dream I once had.)
Author loveinlife Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 I am proud of both of you Magichands and Stardust06 that both of you have passed this phase that I am trying to go through. It is giving me inspiration that there is light after the dark tunnel.
Jaded-Arie Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I still love my ex. Would I have him back at this point. No. Because I haven't worked on the part of me that broke us up in the first place. Our last talk, where we talked all night, we acknowledged our feelings of love for each other and the hurt. I still love that man but now, everytime I think about him, it hurts less and less and I find myself smiling at the memories.
johan Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I admit I still do. I always wish she'd pull her head out of her ass and make an effort. I never stopped thinking we belong together. I just wish she wasn't so scared and scarred. I'd gladly build a life with her.
boshemia Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I did for a long time... We were together eight years and had three kids. I actually got to the point where I had no more romantic feelings for him after awhile, but I still cared for him. I finally realized that he is selfish, always has been, and always will be. There can't be a friendship there without respect, and he has no respect for me. So I guess in my case it took me awhile. I've always been told that you can't recover from a long term relationship until you've been through all of the firsts. Your first christmas without each other, your first anniversary. The first time you go to your favorite resturaunt without them... the process can take much longer than a year. It does happen, it just takes a long time... some longer than others. Some people you will always have a soft spot for even when you have moved on. You know what? That is perfectly OK!
bunny25k Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 i will always be in love with my ex. honestly, if it wasn't for him, i wouldn't even know how to live. it's almost the feeling as if my soul was awakened by him. i feel that no one deserves me...only him. although we are not together, i can still feel his strength inside me whenever i am down. i know that i am a better person today because he was and still is a part of my life, heck he is a part of ME. he didn't want to marry me and i have no choice but to let him live his life the way he wants or no happiness can come from it. i have found happiness within myself without being in a relationship. i don't need one.
Pink Amulet Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I admit I still do. I always wish she'd pull her head out of her ass and make an effort. I never stopped thinking we belong together. I just wish she wasn't so scared and scarred. I'd gladly build a life with her. Isn't she building a life with someone else now? I think when it gets to a certain point, wishing things had been different gets you no where. I think in your case you may just miss the person you thought she was, the person you wanted her to be. I could be wrong. Anyway, I don't know if I love my ex still... I am undecided. Hopefully by the time I decide, my decision will be 'no'
BlueEyedGirl Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 One of my ex's yes. Always have and always will. I accept though that things with us just don't work and that we will never be together. We are still in touch as friends. He is with someone else now and I hope things work out for them. I care about him so much that I TRULY want him to be happy. And I would much rather that he is happy with someone else than unhappy with me.
Diver012 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 My most recent Ex, she doesnt deserve my love. Therefore I choose not to hold a candle for her at all. Shes history. There are people from my past that I will always care for. They treated me with honesty and respect. One girl in particular, we never dated, we did have feelings for eachother but we both agreed to not date as we didn't want to hurt our friendship. I have watched her go through relationship after relationship. I let her go once because she thought she met 'The One" Years later that ended too. Recently she told me she thinks shes a CP. I hope one day she finds what shes looking for. Looking back I realize that we made the right decision. I will always care for her, as a great friend. We have been great friends for 20 years. Its nice to have those kind of relationships.
Touche Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 No. I have NO love left for my ex...in fact, I still have anger when I really think about those 9 years. Do I wish him ill-will though? No. Hope he's happy. But there's no love left in me for him whatsoever. Let that be a lesson for some of you because for a long time I thought I would NEVER love anyone as much as I loved him...boy was I wrong!
Kittiecat Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Crap. To be honest, and after lots of soul searching...I don't think I've ever been in love, and I don't think I ever loved my ex. I told him that I loved him...he was the only man I've ever used those words with. But now I think I may have said it just to "try it on for size." That's horrible, I know, but in the back of my mind I knew it would never work. I stayed in the relationship hoping that things would change and that he would morph into someone I could truly love. Didn't happen. So, in short, the answer is no.
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I don't really want to go as far as to say I still love my ex, lets just say I still hurt over my ex after a year. What all does a year do? Honestly think about it...a year is not nearly enough time to get over someone. A year is not enough time to swipe all the bad memories way but still leave them there with you, even the good. I think everyone thinks that in a year you should automatically be over someone. That right there is cliche. It took my friend two years to get over someone she only went out with for 3 months. She has a new love and if she can do it I know all of us can and will. Its just a matter of time people time time time
KittenMoon Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Yes. No. Yes. No. Maybe. Somtimes. Ad infinitum.
Brittanyjean06 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 whats the longest its taken somebody here to get over their ex? jw:)
shawn_68 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Crap. To be honest, and after lots of soul searching...I don't think I've ever been in love, and I don't think I ever loved my ex. I told him that I loved him...he was the only man I've ever used those words with. But now I think I may have said it just to "try it on for size." That's horrible, I know, but in the back of my mind I knew it would never work. I stayed in the relationship hoping that things would change and that he would morph into someone I could truly love. Didn't happen. I probably should just let this go but I can't. Look, take it from someone who has been on the receiving end of a woman like this -- never tell someone that you love them if you don't!! It's taken me almost a year, and I still hurt. This isn't a game. People get "messed up" for a long time over stuff like this. I'm sorry, Kittiecat, but this had to be said. Please choose your words carefully.
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