miracgirl Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 Well, my friend set me up with a friend of her fiance. We are all four going out tonight in the city where I live, i have an apartment. I really don't like blind dates and they didn't tell me much about him, except last night I was told he was "short and chubby, but a nice guy". Delightful. Anyway, I know that looks aren't everything, but this guy is also six years younger than me and doesn't sound like my type but I'm not doing anything tonight anyway, so whatever. the question is this: I have not extended an invitation for them to come to my apartment. there are a few reasons for this. number one, it would mean i have to clean it . i don't want to put that kind of effort in for a date i don't even know if i like, and even if i did, i don't typically invite men to my apartment on a first date. number two, i know my friend will criticise everything in the apartment. that's just the kind of relationship we have; we joke around a lot, but i'm not in the mood for her to make fun of everything tonight. I'd rather we just go to dinner and a bar. ther'es so much to do in NYC.. but she and her fiance keep pushing for an invitation here...why can't we come over..you're being antisocial..it's the right thing to do.....that's what people do... am i being really wrong here?? And if i am, isn't it also wrong to impose and invite yourself over someone's place? advice please, i don't have much time left!!! thanks
HokeyReligions Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 "I'd rather not, lets go to your place instead." or "I'm sorry, but I am just not comfortable inviting over someone I am meeting for the first time, please don't bring it up again because that is also making me uncomfortable" or "No. I didn't clean the place and I just don't want to tonight. If things go well, maybe another time" or "There is too much to do in NY I don't want to spend it at my apartment and I'm not ready to invite anyone over right now" or "If you keep pestering me about this I am not even going to want to go out tonight - I'm getting a stress headache from you pressuring me to do something I don't want to do right now."
britchick Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 If it was going to be just your friend and her fiance, I think asking to come to your apartment would be fine. But when you have the blind date guy as well, I think your friend is being a bit pushy. For a start, I know they know this bloke, but you don't. I wouldn't really want some man I don't know and am meeting on a blind date to know where I live, but perhaps I'm just over cautious (only from experience I might add). I would meet them at a bar, make up some excuse like you have to meet them straight from work or from studying with a friend. I completely understand the not wanting to tidy up thing!
Author miracgirl Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 thank you so much for replying!! i feel so much better. they were putting so much pressure on me that i was beginning to think I was being totally irrational. I told them I wouldn't get a chance to clean up, that I don't have anything to drink here, no wine glasses, etc. they said they'd bring wine and wine glasses! I can't win.... then the fiance says "what if i have to use the bathroom??" geez... I think they just want to see the apartment and the more i say no, the more they want to see it!! But i'm sticking to my guns!! THEY ARE NOT GETTING UP HERE!!!!
serial muse Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 wow, your friend is pushy. i think it's very wrong to invite yourself over to someone's place - and then to keep pushing after they've already declined! how rude.
Author miracgirl Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 wow, your friend is pushy. i think it's very wrong to invite yourself over to someone's place - and then to keep pushing after they've already declined! how rude. YES, my point exactly. she has an attitude with me now. she can't understand this. to her, i'm just impossible to deal with. i suggested we meet him at a bar. she said "no, this is not one of your internet dates. he's coming all the way into the city to meet you, you don't meet him at a bar." mind you, the guy lives 15 minutes away, according to him.
serial muse Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 she said "no, this is not one of your internet dates. he's coming all the way into the city to meet you, you don't meet him at a bar." that's one of the sillier things i've heard this week. mind you, the guy lives 15 minutes away, according to him. :laugh: even better! your friend needs to get over herself.
Recommended Posts