someone_here Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 i have been with this guy for few months only. But there are things that really bothering me. He said he is a divorcee and he has a kid. He said that his kid and his ex wife are in Zurich . I appreciate that he is telling me this and be open to me. But one day when he and i went out , he got a call and he went away into other place , so secretive. I didnt ask much, but he said it is his friend. But i didnt confront it even though i dont think he is telling the truth. Because i may be wrong. Last week, he asked me to come to his place and when he openned his wardrobe i saw few woman's stuff there, and he has one room for the kid. I saw kids stuff and many things. I began to ask to him, and he said that his ex wife and the kid visited him couple months ago.And he said he just wants to be responsible for the kids. So, i just kept quiet. But from that day , i cant trust him anymore. I asked him and he said he had officially divorced. I just want to make sure that i am not being someone's husband. A divorcee is ok but not a married man. Now he is in Zurich for 10 days and i dont even want to think about it. Because it will only make me think many things. He said to me that i can call him as many times i want and at anytime. But i dont even want to do so. Guys , what do u think ? am i the other woman ?
TattooedPrincess Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 You are not the OW. I am assuming that you are thinking he is single an free from his marriage. If he tells you that his status is single/divorce what have you and that is what you believe. You are not the OW. IF he shows up being married! he lied to you. You was an innocent by standard at the time. If you find out that he is really married would you proceed with the relationship? if you do and knowing he was married then you would be the OW. You can't call yourself the OW if the other party is lying to you and wishy washy the truth. He does seem to have a few red flags though. I would move with caution.
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Listen to your gut. If something doesn't feel right, chances are, it isn't.
Island Girl Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 You can find out. I mean there are ways to make sure someone is telling you the truth. I would call him and see how he acts on the phone. Is he open as usual or is it an inconvenient time and he seems rushed or preoccupied. If so, not proof but strong indicator. Since you know where he lives, you could stop by -- unexpectedly. Believe me, if he is married and playing you, not only do you deserve to know but his wife does too. And if you find out there is one, I'd tell her so she can make her own decision about working it out or leaving.
IngenueMisnomer Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Has he introduced you to any of his friends, family, co-workers or colleagues? Is he keeping your relationship isolated from his everyday life?
girlygirl1976 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 If you can't trust him, you can't trust him and it's time to move on.
Author someone_here Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Has he introduced you to any of his friends, family, co-workers or colleagues? Is he keeping your relationship isolated from his everyday life? he has not introduced me to his friends . He said he would introduce me to them and he said i can come by to his office anytime. What have happened by far is he is the one who usually came to my working place.
Author someone_here Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 I would call him and see how he acts on the phone. Is he open as usual or is it an inconvenient time and he seems rushed or preoccupied. If so, not proof but strong indicator. Since you know where he lives, you could stop by -- unexpectedly. Believe me, if he is married and playing you, not only do you deserve to know but his wife does too. And if you find out there is one, I'd tell her so she can make her own decision about working it out or leaving. I didnt call him too often. By far, when i called him, there were times when he sounded relax and natural, but most of the time he said he was busy and he would call me back. i am not sure abt that idea. He told me his ex wife and his kid are in Zurich. So, even if i drop by, maybe i dont find anything . The more i think abt it, the more i feel confuse ....
KnowHowLoveFeels Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Lose this guy. He sounds like a creep.
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