vi_pn Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 My casual lover/bf of over a year, told me awhile back that he was thinking about moving back home. Well earlier today I called him, and he told me that he has to unexpectedly move tomorrow! So I went over to his place while he was packing. I was happy and joking around with him, because I didn't wanto be all soppy and ruin the mood. Well after we hung out for awhile, we walked outside to talk more. He looked really nervous, but it was getting awkward because we both knew that this could be the last time we'd see each other. We both got teary eyed, I started crying a lil bit, we hugged and he said, "I've always wanted to ask you this question" So I said, yah, and he said are you're parents loaded with money or something? I never really talked about my parents to him because yah they are well off, live in the city, but they are modest people, and his parents aren't as well off, and from a small country town. Well since we weren't really getting that serious, I never brought him over to meet my parents, but he asked me right then why he hasn't seen my house. I felt bad, but I thought it would be awkward because we weren't really that serious. But he mentioned the money status thing again, and I reminded him I'm a really down to earth person, and I pay my own bills, not mommy & daddy. Now I wish I could've been more myself, and more laid back and not so high maintenance. Could that have changed things? Can opposite financial worlds ever work in a relationship? I was trying to figure out if he thought we could eventually end up together, besides being raised different. Anyways, I regret not opening up more to him, but it was just a fun relationship and never got into deep conversations. So why would he ask me at the last minute? He still wants to keep in touch with me, by phone & email. He knows that I liked him more than just friends, but I'm wondering if wanting to keep in contact with him will make it harder or easier on me. I'm really going to miss him, I had alot of fun times with him, we've been through alot together. Oh yah and not to mention that this monday is his birthday, and since I didn't know he was leaving so soon, I didn't even get him a card yet! So when I was driving off, I told him happy birthday and told him that I didn't get him a present but he could take one of my cd's for the road home, but he said don't worrry about it. But I feel bad lAnyway, when should be the next time I contact him? I want to give him time to get settled. What should I do to make things work? Could it ever work out for the better?
Author vi_pn Posted September 9, 2006 Author Posted September 9, 2006 Can anyone help? I need someone to talk to or get advice from.
Hitman10000 Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 There is some truth to people in the same social/economic class tend to be more compatible with each other. But there's also truth to someone who is open minded with another person coming from a different social strata as well, but that's rarer than the first case. As a person who works 40hrs a week, goes to night class (about 15+ hours) so that's 55-60 hrs, I cannot be with a woman who doesn't work or go to school fulltime concurrent with her career goals. For some reason, I cannot trust her nor take her seriously when she has all that free time to do anything she wants even though her claim may be to take care of her disabled relative. Nor if someone who came from an upper class background will have difficulty mixing well with my working class background, IT WOULD be helpful if she was the earthy help the working class person social type, but in most cases it's not. Here's the kicker on relationships. When a guy has made a choice on not having a relationship or not making any pursuit of it, that decision is FINAL. When a woman does it, it's 50/50. So just stop talking to this dude.
Author vi_pn Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 There is some truth to people in the same social/economic class tend to be more compatible with each other. But there's also truth to someone who is open minded with another person coming from a different social strata as well, but that's rarer than the first case. As a person who works 40hrs a week, goes to night class (about 15+ hours) so that's 55-60 hrs, I cannot be with a woman who doesn't work or go to school fulltime concurrent with her career goals. For some reason, I cannot trust her nor take her seriously when she has all that free time to do anything she wants even though her claim may be to take care of her disabled relative. Nor if someone who came from an upper class background will have difficulty mixing well with my working class background, IT WOULD be helpful if she was the earthy help the working class person social type, but in most cases it's not. Here's the kicker on relationships. When a guy has made a choice on not having a relationship or not making any pursuit of it, that decision is FINAL. When a woman does it, it's 50/50. So just stop talking to this dude. I really appreciate you taking time to reply to my post, especially being the only one for that matter. I guess I just kinda think that maybe he thought I was too high maintence, but I always showed him that I could take care of myself, and I just recently got into a good paying career, yah just as he's moving away. But I was never trying to give him the impression that he'd have to take care of me financially, because I'm able to take care of myself. But anyway, I understand what you said at the end that the decision is final, but it just confused me because he always gave me mixed signals or talk like he did want to pursue something, so I think that's why I'm having a hard time understanding the whole picture.
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