MaryLee Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 I desperately need some help with how to handle this situation. I just saw my boyfriend's photo on an adult sexually oriented matching site with his naked ass showing and advertising for women or couples to have sex with him. He has some of his things at my house and I would like to know if I should call him and tell him I saw him on the Internet site and to please get his things out of my house before I through them in the trash or should I wait for him to call me for his things and then tell him how through I am with him. I am so angry right now, I don't know how to handle this rationally.
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 You box up his stuff, put it on your porch and tell him to come over to pick up his stuff and tell him he has a week to give you back your things (if he has anything of yours). Not sure how long you two were together, but the fact he's doing this, something isn't right with him. NOT your fault, it's something HE is getting, maybe lots of attention...Either way, you don't need that type of guy in your life as a boyfriend, so MOVE on without him. His loss, not yours.
konfuzd Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 What were you doing on the site to even find him there?
Pink Amulet Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 What were you doing on the site to even find him there? My exact thoughts...
quietintrovertgirl Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 Wow!!!!!!!Your man was on a sex site.Iwould go kick his butt.
penkitten Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 make sure you print out the ad with his butt shot in it and tape it to the box of his stuff when you sit it on the porch.
Adunaphel Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 I like WWIU's and penkitten's ideas, but I'd put the picture inside the box instead of on the outside of it. In case someone else passed by and saw the box.
Mary3 Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 I would get a match and some lighter fluid and burn his clothes. Okay jk....just set them outside but first soak his colors in bleach...
nice1_hurting Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 You realize that often times these companies use 'models' for their adds? Just because he was advertising sexual services doesn't mean he is giving them. Granted, he should have told you, but maybe he was just waiting for the right time.. Maybe this is something he is NOT proud of. I am playing the devils advocate here because sometimes things are not what they seem. Be certain before you make a mountain out a possible mole hill.
amerikajin Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 I'm guessing he got sloppy and forgot to erase the URL; otherwise, I'm left to ask the same question, what would you be doing there? Assuming that's the case, I don't know if there's really a good or an easy way to deal with something like this. I think you just deal with it and get it over as fast as possible.
Author MaryLee Posted September 9, 2006 Author Posted September 9, 2006 The reason I was on the sex website to begin with is my friend and I like to go on there and look at men and laugh at how someone can just expose their penis like that and think how gross they are. Just entertainment for laughs. It's not so funny now seeing him standing there. I guess you never really know anyone. I was shocked and disgusted.
whichwayisup Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 The reason I was on the sex website to begin with is my friend and I like to go on there and look at men and laugh at how someone can just expose their penis like that and think how gross they are. Just entertainment for laughs. It's not so funny now seeing him standing there. I guess you never really know anyone. I was shocked and disgusted. I understand you think it's funny to go and laugh at men on that sex site, so yeah I'm sure it was a shock that your boyfriend was on there....Here's a twist. You ever consider that HE did that on purpose so you could see him? Like maybe he found out YOU were on those sex sites and got upset, so to make a point to you, he posed?? Knowing you'd find him?? Kinda makes you stop and think, doesn't it????? Maybe you should talk to him and tell him what you and your friend do - Then tell him you saw him and want to know why he posed naked.
amerikajin Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 The reason I was on the sex website to begin with is my friend and I like to go on there and look at men and laugh at how someone can just expose their penis like that and think how gross they are. Just entertainment for laughs. It's not so funny now seeing him standing there. I guess you never really know anyone. I was shocked and disgusted. Honestly, I'm not sure you really have much of a (third) leg to stand on here. You'll say "I saw your disgusting shlong on that filthy web site" and he'll ask just as we have "Well, uh, I think you're obviously every bit as nasty and disgusting as anyone else is for looking at the web site" - doubt he'll buy the argument that you look at it for laughs. I mean, something brought you to the web site to begin with, right? I dunno, if it bothers you so much maybe you oughtta just bail. But I don't think you're going to have much high ground here.
CrushedOrgans Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 But I don't think you're going to have much high ground here. maybe not, but i think it would be a whole other ball game if it was a guy searching through porn links who saw a picture of his girlfriend. the guy would be ever-so-innocently "stimulating himself visually" and the girl would be called a "lying ho-bag."
Author MaryLee Posted September 9, 2006 Author Posted September 9, 2006 The difference is that my friend and I were just looking and laughing and having fun. He was actually a paid Gold Member with a profile and pic. I did not have a membership or a pic or profile or anything. He certainly couldn't see me. There is definitely a difference here.
amerikajin Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 You think he's going to believe that? By all means, do what you gotta do, but I'm curious to see how the argument's going to unfold.
Mary3 Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 The difference is that my friend and I were just looking and laughing and having fun. He was actually a paid Gold Member with a profile and pic. I did not have a membership or a pic or profile or anything. He certainly couldn't see me. There is definitely a difference here. YOU have a very good point here. I am leaning towards what you think . We all surf different sites ...I have went to many just out of curiosity. But if I saw my butt naked boyfriend on that site with a REAL ad , I would be very concerned . I think he is on there not as a trick or ploy. I think he is on there for exactly the same reason the OTHERS are on there. TO get sex. With 2 somes , 3 somes, Donkey style , BDSM , or whatever his fetish is..... Now if he is doing it behind your back that is just wrong. He could have these possible explanations : His friend stold his butt naked pic and created an ad ( I doubt it ) The ad is old and he forgot to remove it ? ( check his last sign on date ) He seriously needs some extra freaky sex and you might get a disease so be wary ! In any of the cases. Your boyfriend as an ad on a sex site. Why ? If he came clean during your courtship and said " Oh hey by the way I like to be tied up and humiliated so I have an ad somewhere floating around ,...." then this would be a lil different . At least you would be aware.
Author MaryLee Posted September 9, 2006 Author Posted September 9, 2006 Well, I got his things packed up and I will be making a call to him this afternoon to pick them up in my driveway. I printed out his profile and pic from the website and where it says he is looking for sex with several people at a time. No, the ad is not old. He was signed on yesterday. I will keep you all posted as to what happens.
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Good luck and let us know how it goes.
Author MaryLee Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Okay, I left a message on his cell this morning to come pick up his things at my house in my driveway when I'm not at home. Later today I received an e-mail from him saying he didn't understand what was wrong and wanted to know if this was it. Did I really never want to see him or talk to him again. He claims that he had drill this weekend and was not at home. However, I saw him on Adult Friend Finders this morning. He said he has some dvd's and clothes at my house. He doesn't though. So now he is making up things that he doesn't really have here. Should I tell him I saw him on xxx this morning while he said he was working? My friend said I shouldin't tell him I saw him on the website, that I should just end it and be done with it. But I want to tell him that I don't want to associate with a person that would put their naked ass on the internet. I don't know know what to do.
whichwayisup Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 I think you owe him a reason. So why not just say something like this... "IS there anything I need to know about you? Something that you've done that I should know about? Think hard before answering..." Or, just tell him what you know (you don't need to go into details on how you found out) what he's been up to and it hurts/pisses you off and then tell him it's over, you don't want to be with someone who does stuff like that. How long were you two going out? And, do you love him? Seems to me, like you do like him, but not enough to give him a chance to explain himself, or give him a chance to make things right.
Mary3 Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Me , personally speaking would say this : " I was looking around at different web sites and I came across your profile. I see you are on an Adult Sex Site and I have to feel that means you are looking for someone to have sex with besides me. Its not like you are on a car club site . This site is for sex. Apparently I see you were looking for sex yesterday. Since we are / were a couple , how come you are on there and I don't know about it ? : "
CrushedOrgans Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 what difference does it make how you found it? even if you shouldn't be looking at it, he shouldn't be on it. and i find it pretty ridiculous that it's generally okay to say "men like porn, accept it or else" and yet a female can't look at a website with any kind of curiosity. eff that noise. you're kicking him to the curb anyway (as you should) so it doesn't matter what he thinks about you being on the site.
Author MaryLee Posted September 10, 2006 Author Posted September 10, 2006 Well, I sent him an e-mail this morning letting him know I saw him on Axxx and that I wanted him to come by and pick up his things from my house. I asked him to give me a day and time and I would put his things in my driveway and he could come by and pick them up when I'm not at home. I have not gotten a response from him, however, he has still been on the adult web site just a short time ago. Is he just plain stupid or sick? Someone asked how long we dated. We have known each other three years and dated one year. Yes, I loved him very much. I could never trust him again after this.
whichwayisup Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 Well, the fact he was back on the site and didn't contact you, there's your answer. Unless he hasn't checked his email yet...Though that's doubtful. Dump him, move on and don't look back. He's a dink.
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