Tonyy Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 My and my girlfriend were going out for 3 1/2 yrs, our realtionship started going downhill about 10 months ago, her friend past away and my uncle passed away we were both really sad. The first year everything was perfect, then after the first year I started going out with my friends a-lot, and had a smoking problem which she didn't like very much. She would sometimes say, "things aren't the same, What do you want from me!?!?," redflags would pop up often. Things just kinda went downhill from there. She broke up with me 2 months ago, she told me that shes sorry and im a great person; she couldn't do it anymore, she didnt want to get hurt again, its not the same, I just want to be friends, theres not a chance, I don't want a relationship right now." Pretty much letting me down easy, but not really saying its over, she never said it was over, or that she didn't want to be with me. She didn't know what she wanted and that she was "lost and confused." A week ago (being the end of this two month period) she wrote me a couple of letters saying that; she wanted to be with me and she loves me more then life itself, she wanted to work things out, and for me not to push her away. Then she also told me on the phone that she wanted to work things out, even if it took a year that she wanted things to go back to the way they were, she wants to start as friends again and work things out before getting back together. She "wants me back," but isn't ready to be with me. Everything is so double-meaning, she doesn't seem like shes playing games she seems genuine. She has been calling a-lot more then we when first started dating and she always says she loves me a-lot. She wants to give it another chance, and she sometimes talks about our future together, sometimes she brings up "when we get back together," or, "if things work out." Should I stay and take a chance even though nothing is guarantied? All her wants are possibilties but those are just hopes and wants. We have a good connection with eachother and we talk everyday, we are both trying to work things out. Please I need anyone's opinion, any info would be helpful, Thanks.
Rooster_DAR Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 I read your post, and I could swear I posted this. This is exactly the thing I have been going through. My now EX was very confused, one day she's saying I love you more than anything, and if we reconcile I want to get married, then the next day I don't hear from her or she says she needs to explore some thing on her own. I got tired of the whole thing, and finally asked her what she really wanted, and am I in her future. Here last words to me were "I love you but I can't give you what you want right now". These kind of women are hard to understand, because they never really tell you anything, and trying to get them to talk is like trying to extract water out of a stone. One could surmise a couple of possiblilites: They want their cake and eat it too (They are having an affair/cheating and you are a fallback)They are too riddled with guilt to tell the truth (break up with you)They are truly confused and probably are having a hard time coping with anyone or anything (Depression)Just to name a few of the big ones. I would be my bottom dollar that one of these are on the money.
burning 4 revenge Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 One could surmise a couple of possiblilites: They want their cake and eat it too (They are having an affair/cheating and you are a fallback)They are too riddled with guilt to tell the truth (break up with you)They are truly confused and probably are having a hard time coping with anyone or anything (Depression)Just to name a few of the big ones. I would be my bottom dollar that one of these are on the money. Excellent post and right on the money
gfto Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 she told me that shes sorry and im a great person; she couldn't do it anymore, she didnt want to get hurt again, its not the same, I just want to be friends, theres not a chance, I don't want a relationship right now." Pretty much letting me down easy, but not really saying its over On the contrary, she definitely told you it's over.
Rooster_DAR Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 GTFO. Don't waste any more of your time and do the N/C before you lose your dignity. If you do the N/C, eventually she will try to come around again, but you need to get on with yourself, and if she does come around just show her how you have moved on. If you cave in, your gonna regret it dude. Trust me on this, and read other posts regarding this issue. I know it's hard, but you need to be strong now and get on with the getting on. If at some point she doesn't give up, only go back to her on your conditions and stick by the with suit and armor Good Luck! P.S. (Has anyone one going through a breakup said to themselves, but our realtionship is different than everyone elses! and I think mine will make it because he/she really loves me.) Think again!
norajane Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 Everything you've written is about her and what she wants or doesn't want, what she feels, what she thinks. What do you think? When was the last time you were happy, truly happy, in your relationship and truly felt loved by her? When was the last time she did anything to support you or build up your confidence or do something really nice for you? If you can't remember, forget the whole thing.
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