Island Girl Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 So perhaps this will help others out there -- I met my husband 5 years ago and we began dating as usual. Less than a year later he went back to his home country. He had overstayed on his visa and did not realize he would not be allowed to just come right back. So there he was, stuck 10,000 miles away. And it is not a traditional tourist spot so tickets are EXPENSIVE as well. So about 7 months after he left, I went and visited for apprx. a week. Then we didn't see each other for 3 years. Not even pictures. He does not have a computer there, so it was handwritten letters and phone calls (and pretty much the last 2 years it was just phone calls). This last July, exactly 3 years since we last saw each other, I flew to see him and 2 days after I got there we were married. It was a planned wedding of course -- not a spur of the moment decision. Several things allowed us to make it. We had a rule in place that each of us were "open books". Understanding it would be very easy to feel like or think that the other person may be up to no good, i.e. cheating, etc. Because we never lost track of how much we love each other, we made it through 3 years of separation. In fact, after working our differences out by talking about them openly and honestly (because there is no beating around the bush at $.23 a minute!) I believe we have a closeness that we would not have had before. In fact I fell more in love with him after getting there because I had forgotten facial expressions, hand gestures, how charming he is when he talks to people, and all of the things I couldn't see on the phone. It was very hard to leave after only having 3 weeks with him. But all of the paperwork for him to come back had to be done, and I have a job here, etc. He is supposed to be back here by April. I can't believe he is going to be here with me in less than 8 months. That is so quick! ---- I guess it is all about perspective.
Growlrifle Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Sounds like you really love eachother. How long will he be staying with you?
Author Island Girl Posted September 8, 2006 Author Posted September 8, 2006 He isn't here yet. He has been gone since January 2003. I was there for 3 weeks last month. He's supposed to be here by March or April 07. YEAH!
norajane Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 The paperwork takes that long even after you're married? That just sucks. Congratulations and best wishes to you both!
Growlrifle Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 Hope it all works out sooner then later so you can live together. After all you two deserve it.
Values Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Island Girl will you read the post in the coping forum that I just followed yours with. I think we've had a mix up.
Loserdude Posted October 16, 2006 Posted October 16, 2006 So perhaps this will help others out there -- I met my husband 5 years ago and we began dating as usual. Less than a year later he went back to his home country. He had overstayed on his visa and did not realize he would not be allowed to just come right back. So there he was, stuck 10,000 miles away. And it is not a traditional tourist spot so tickets are EXPENSIVE as well. So about 7 months after he left, I went and visited for apprx. a week. Then we didn't see each other for 3 years. Not even pictures. He does not have a computer there, so it was handwritten letters and phone calls (and pretty much the last 2 years it was just phone calls). This last July, exactly 3 years since we last saw each other, I flew to see him and 2 days after I got there we were married. It was a planned wedding of course -- not a spur of the moment decision. Several things allowed us to make it. We had a rule in place that each of us were "open books". Understanding it would be very easy to feel like or think that the other person may be up to no good, i.e. cheating, etc. Because we never lost track of how much we love each other, we made it through 3 years of separation. In fact, after working our differences out by talking about them openly and honestly (because there is no beating around the bush at $.23 a minute!) I believe we have a closeness that we would not have had before. In fact I fell more in love with him after getting there because I had forgotten facial expressions, hand gestures, how charming he is when he talks to people, and all of the things I couldn't see on the phone. It was very hard to leave after only having 3 weeks with him. But all of the paperwork for him to come back had to be done, and I have a job here, etc. He is supposed to be back here by April. I can't believe he is going to be here with me in less than 8 months. That is so quick! ---- I guess it is all about perspective. I wish you well (too bad, I was going to hit on you! )
Author Island Girl Posted October 16, 2006 Author Posted October 16, 2006 Awww so sweet. And I wouldn't eat you for lunch now that I am "better" lol. But yes, I am happy. In love. Wishing everyone could find this and people would just quit getting walked on while in the process of finding "the one" <sigh>. The best to you. We can still be friends can't we? -- Wow that is the first time I have ever said that and MEANT it!
dreamguy Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 But yes, I am happy. In love. Wishing everyone could find this and people would just quit getting walked on while in the process of finding "the one" <sigh>. What would happen to this forum if they did (quit getting walked on while in the process of finding "the one" ?) Island Girl, is there a way to message you (email you perhaps) because I honestly have a favor to ask for and I could use your good feedback on my story (Moai says you're really talented at this).
Loserdude Posted October 22, 2006 Posted October 22, 2006 Awww so sweet. And I wouldn't eat you for lunch now that I am "better" lol. But yes, I am happy. In love. Wishing everyone could find this and people would just quit getting walked on while in the process of finding "the one" <sigh>. The best to you. We can still be friends can't we? -- Wow that is the first time I have ever said that and MEANT it! Absolutely! Stop by for a coke!
Author Island Girl Posted October 23, 2006 Author Posted October 23, 2006 Absolutely! Stop by for a coke! "A coke and a smile..." That's funny. Pretty telling that I remember those commercials...
confusedgeek Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 This is a nice story, thanks for sharing. It is nice to hear things like this happens in real life. - ConfusedGeek
dreamguy Posted October 25, 2006 Posted October 25, 2006 Are you ignoring me Island Girl ? Because if you are then I'll start crying Lol or perhaps... ignoring me is the feedback I was looking for
Author Island Girl Posted October 30, 2006 Author Posted October 30, 2006 Are you ignoring me Island Girl ? Because if you are then I'll start crying Lol or perhaps... ignoring me is the feedback I was looking for No --- I posted to you - I don't know where it went!! :mad: My posts don't show up right away anyway so it is difficult to go back and check to see if they've showed up... Moai said he'd forward me messages since my PM doesn't work - but his does. so if you want to use that avenue -- or post here...I am familiar with a bit of your story I think... Looking forward to hearing from you! Sorry -- I haven't been ignoring you I PROMISE!!!
Loveslacker Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 No --- I posted to you - I don't know where it went!! :mad: My posts don't show up right away anyway so it is difficult to go back and check to see if they've showed up... Moai said he'd forward me messages since my PM doesn't work - but his does. so if you want to use that avenue -- or post here...I am familiar with a bit of your story I think... Looking forward to hearing from you! Sorry -- I haven't been ignoring you I PROMISE!!! Island Girl is just playing hard-to-get!
Guest Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 So perhaps this will help others out there -- I met my husband 5 years ago and we began dating as usual. Less than a year later he went back to his home country. He had overstayed on his visa and did not realize he would not be allowed to just come right back. So there he was, stuck 10,000 miles away. And it is not a traditional tourist spot so tickets are EXPENSIVE as well. So about 7 months after he left, I went and visited for apprx. a week. Then we didn't see each other for 3 years. Not even pictures. He does not have a computer there, so it was handwritten letters and phone calls (and pretty much the last 2 years it was just phone calls). This last July, exactly 3 years since we last saw each other, I flew to see him and 2 days after I got there we were married. It was a planned wedding of course -- not a spur of the moment decision. Several things allowed us to make it. We had a rule in place that each of us were "open books". Understanding it would be very easy to feel like or think that the other person may be up to no good, i.e. cheating, etc. Because we never lost track of how much we love each other, we made it through 3 years of separation. In fact, after working our differences out by talking about them openly and honestly (because there is no beating around the bush at $.23 a minute!) I believe we have a closeness that we would not have had before. In fact I fell more in love with him after getting there because I had forgotten facial expressions, hand gestures, how charming he is when he talks to people, and all of the things I couldn't see on the phone. It was very hard to leave after only having 3 weeks with him. But all of the paperwork for him to come back had to be done, and I have a job here, etc. He is supposed to be back here by April. I can't believe he is going to be here with me in less than 8 months. That is so quick! ---- I guess it is all about perspective. congrats i had no idea. not trying to pry but would u have been seeing anyone while he was gone?
Author Island Girl Posted October 31, 2006 Author Posted October 31, 2006 congrats i had no idea. not trying to pry but would u have been seeing anyone while he was gone? No. Niether of us dated anyone else. I went out with my girl friends and family, etc. Whenever I met different men (friends of people I was with) I would talk to them - just normal conversation - and all of them would serve as reminders of the fact that he is SO unique. No one could ever take his place.
oceanlove_gx Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 No. Niether of us dated anyone else. I went out with my girl friends and family, etc. Whenever I met different men (friends of people I was with) I would talk to them - just normal conversation - and all of them would serve as reminders of the fact that he is SO unique. No one could ever take his place. hi island girl, it seems that there is lot of difference between u and ur husband, where is he from and how did u overcome that? Or in another way which part does he interst you that boys in ur country do not have in common?
Author Island Girl Posted October 31, 2006 Author Posted October 31, 2006 We are a lot the same and a lot different I guess. The similarities are the basis for our relationship. The strong foundation. The differences are glue that fills in any gaps. It is the differences that seem to draw us together. He lived in the US for 11 years, so he very much knows American life -- however his upbringing is very traditional. He is Tongan (from Tonga. A tiny little country in the South Pacific.). In his country, family is everything. Less materialism. Certainly less value is placed on looks and more value placed on actions/heart. There are beautiful people and it is recognized but that isn't a reason to choose someone to date, etc. Money is not a reason to marry AT ALL which is strange because it is a poor country. How is he different? Hmmm. He thinks of ME. For instance, if I am irritated, he doesn't just listen to what I am saying, he is also thinking "what is BEHIND this?". So he'll think "she must be stressed because of work", or whatever -- and then he calmly leads the conversation, making it more mellow as it goes along until my heart is involved not just my head and finds out exactly what I am feeling not just what i am saying. As he says it, I am the fire. I always come "hot and strong" with all of my feelings happiness, anger, sadness, etc. He is the water. Calm and cool. Strong with patience and persistence. He is the most amazing man I have ever met. He is more intuitive in personal relationships than anyone I have ever seen or known about. I am stubborn and headstrong. I am outspoken and quick to jump to conclusions. I know it. He knows it. He loves it. He loves the good and the bad. On occasion I frustrate him but in the end he just laughs about it. - We laugh about it. I know it just sounds bizarre. I have never heard of anyone like him. He KNOWS me. He knows me like the back of his hand. He doesn't get defensive, EVER. He doesn't throw any of my mistakes back at me. He doesn't have to be right. Ever. He doesn't care about being right. He doesn't try to prove a point to me even when faced with the perfect opportunity (I have a hilarious story that illustrates the point perfectly). He approaches everything with humility and ONLY because of this have I learned to humble myself to him as well. I guess I could go on and on... As he puts it, he is with me because I am the only woman who has ever demanded anything of him. From the beginning I expected to be treated with respect and as he puts it "he could see the light coming from the inside". Sure he says I am beautiful, etc. But that isn't why he loves me. In his words it is the fire I have inside. The light so bright and shining that is fierce in everything I do. As strong as I am he sees the vulnerable side too. He takes care of that part of me, cherishes that, and makes me feel so safe to reveal it. Ahhh well. Perhaps I am just going on and on AND boring everyone!
dreamguy Posted October 31, 2006 Posted October 31, 2006 No --- I posted to you - I don't know where it went!! :mad: My posts don't show up right away anyway so it is difficult to go back and check to see if they've showed up... Moai said he'd forward me messages since my PM doesn't work - but his does. so if you want to use that avenue -- or post here...I am familiar with a bit of your story I think... Looking forward to hearing from you! Sorry -- I haven't been ignoring you I PROMISE!!! I think it would be more appropriate if you posted on my thread as I don't want to hijack yours Here's the link: http://www.loveshack.org/forums/showthread.php?t=99682
Author Island Girl Posted November 1, 2006 Author Posted November 1, 2006 Okay dreamguy - I just went there and it is 4 pages so I am going to read all of it before I post. So it'll be a reply tomorrow. And my posts are now immediate! Yeah! Looking forward to being able to share...
daphne Posted November 1, 2006 Posted November 1, 2006 Island, Your description of your husband would be hard to get in an American man. You're a lucky woman. He's what we all want.
Author Island Girl Posted November 1, 2006 Author Posted November 1, 2006 Island, Your description of your husband would be hard to get in an American man. You're a lucky woman. He's what we all want. Thanks Daphne! I think he is perfect and wonderful of course. He does have his own issues as well! lol
dreamguy Posted November 4, 2006 Posted November 4, 2006 Okay dreamguy - I just went there and it is 4 pages so I am going to read all of it before I post. So it'll be a reply tomorrow. And my posts are now immediate! Yeah! Looking forward to being able to share... Guess you didn't have time to my story yet. Anyway, please post there when you have time. I'd appreciate that. Btw, your story is inspiring. Best of luck to you both ! I don't know if I can still get my ex back... tell me what you think is best to do.
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