MSserious Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 My story is quite different; well that's what i think on the most part. I haven't been with my "ex-boyfriend" for over a year now. We're the most dramatic couple i know of our group of friends, mainly because we hook-up after a break-up, then he breaks up with me and being the dumbass, i take him abck over and over. Within that year after we broke up, he found a new girl and eventually became his girlfriend. He and I became friends again on my birthday party. We became really great around each other. We hung out, talked.. then the "expected" happened. He fell in love with me again. [yes, he was still with his gf] To make things short. He told me he still loved me and used the line "i love her, but i'm not in love with her". Let's just say we both cried and talked things over. He wanted me back. He didn't want his girlfriend. Then he made me WAIT. pathetic i know. My family had to go on vacation that summer and he reassured me of everything. When i get back it will be me and him again. He told me he loved me. Things were great. I get back. No call. No email. What i see? Pictures and messages of him and her. It was clear he didn't choose me. It took one of our good guy friends to let him talk to me. When that happened he expressed his feelings soo calmy. It was pathetic. What i said? I never really said anything i just listened. I didn't know what to say. Three months have passed. I feel absolutely vengeful. I have a lot more to say now that time has passed. I thought about it long and hard, but i felt writing was a good way of letting my deepest feelings out. So i wrote a letter. I don't know whether i should send it. He seems happy with her. But i want to be heard. I want my feelings to be known. I want him to know how much i hate what he did to me. Although, he might have read my journal entries. That i don't know. I don't know what to do. Should i still send it?
ellie2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Dear M, Sorry your ex hurt you like that! What a jerk. But still, what do you hope to achieve from sending an angry letter? An apology? An explanation? Whatever his response, it might not be what you expect. If he's not mature enough to have explained already what went on with the current gf while you were on vacation, then it's most likely that you will not get a satisfactory response from him anyway. If you need to just vent, maybe you can post the letter on this site. I've seen other people do that ... just to get it off their chest. This might be just me but the way I see it, an angry letter can only bring back an angry response ... and in a break-up situation, isn't less drama better than more drama? I don't know. Just my two cents worth.
Guest Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 i did that. i never got any reply at all, and 8 years on, on the very rare occasion i think about him, i wish i hadn't done it. just been dumped by a different guy after 3 years. i wrote one very sad letter and one very angry one. then i sent them to my friends instead, and their comments back made me laugh so much that i now keep those. every time i feel tempted to contact the cheating sack of ****, i re-read my friends' emails instead. and it still hurts, but they really do cheer me up. the thing is this: IF HE DOESN'T CARE, YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM CARE. it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do. if he is more interested in someone else than you, there is nothing you can do to change it. so email the letter to your mates and keep their replies. but don't send it, you will really wish you hadn't exposed yourself to letting him ignore/hurt you again.
Jilly10340 Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Sure, you can go ahead and write the letter, but DON't send it. Instead, write out every feeling you have, and then burn the letter or shred it, there's no reason for him to read it and be angry or feel sorry for you. And in the end, you'll regret sending it, believe me. Just remember, people don't remember how you were in the relationship, they remember how you were when they broke up with you. Don't let him know how much he hurt you.
superconductor Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 MsSerious, other than giving you a chance to get the last word, is there anything positive at all about sending him a hate letter? You might think he'll take the message to heart, but in reality he'll shrug his shoulders and thank his lucky stars that he's not with you anymore, then go on with his life. So go ahead, if that's the kind of result you want, send it. But if you actually want to be mature about this, just move on. The best revenge is a successful life.
laRubiaBonita Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 i did that. i never got any reply at all, and 8 years on, on the very rare occasion i think about him, i wish i hadn't done it. just been dumped by a different guy after 3 years. i wrote one very sad letter and one very angry one. then i sent them to my friends instead, and their comments back made me laugh so much that i now keep those. every time i feel tempted to contact the cheating sack of ****, i re-read my friends' emails instead. and it still hurts, but they really do cheer me up. the thing is this: IF HE DOESN'T CARE, YOU CAN'T MAKE HIM CARE. it doesn't matter what you say, or what you do. if he is more interested in someone else than you, there is nothing you can do to change it. so email the letter to your mates and keep their replies. but don't send it, you will really wish you hadn't exposed yourself to letting him ignore/hurt you again. i Totally agree with this post. the best thing to do, is become happy and be a good person...... let him wallow all alone, or with whom ever he deems easier to manipulate.
Guest Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 it doesn't make easy reading, but i've found it's true through bitter experience. it is so easy to convince yourself that it is a good idea to text. or email. or call. or log into his emails. or go to his local pub with a friend. or ask everyone who still works with/hangs out with him what he is up to. but in the end, it only hurts. the best thing to do is to realise that he has moved on. and even if you haven't, and if you're dissolving into a heap of snotty tissues, haagen-dazs and "friends" dvds, he DOESN'T NEED TO KNOW THAT!
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