iconic Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 i really like this guy and i do have feeling for him. But i know for some reasons that def. we are not meant to be together and my parents strongly disagree with the relationship because of his background and job. Dont get it wrong. He has a good paying job. But his job is kinda risky and we are living in the different world. i think. He has been very sweet and nice to me . Which makes me completely feel like a bad person. He did all things for me and it made me feel miserable and confuse. I know i have to stop the relationship. I have no other guy or plan to be with other guy but i know i have to break up with him. i ever told him to be my friend but he didnt accept it and refused it .He said he will feel lost and somehow i find him too depserate. I dont want to be nasty to him , but i have to break up with him. my question , how to break up in better way... ? how to say it in nice way..to make him less hurt ? or should i just make up story to make him hate me ? or just be brutally honest abt my parents, etc ?
Josalina Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 You sound very confused. i would be honest i think if i was in your situation and tell him the reason you want to finish it, as if u are close to someone they will see through lies. however i am confused for you, u want to finish this relationship because your parents don't aprove? he will find it so hard to let go if he loves u, and if u love him, y don't u want to be with him? There is not much i can say but follow your heart, if its not right get out, but try not to hurt the other person in the process, i know it is hard to say that but dont lie to them, they deserve the truth, just tell them it doesn't feel right. don't make them hate u as u dont need that either, u will know when the time is right and if you really have no feelings for this person you should let them go. hope this helps
Confuggled_one Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 my ex said the same thing to me. howeveri question her if she really did ever love me. if you ask me if you really love him you should stick with him and have a nice talk and try to talk things out. your parents dont own your life so you shouldnt be effected by their opinions. you love him right? stick with it
Iconic Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 my ex said the same thing to me. howeveri question her if she really did ever love me. if you ask me if you really love him you should stick with him and have a nice talk and try to talk things out. your parents dont own your life so you shouldnt be effected by their opinions. you love him right? stick with it until today i am still thinking abt my bf alot and i have feeling for him. It is true that even when someone decides not to be with that person, it doesnt mean that he or she has no feeling with the bf/gf. but there is always a reason why things dont work out. I dont know how your relationship with your ex was, but you can tell if she or he really loves you. She might have the same problem as i do. i love him, and it makes me really difficult to tell the truth because i am afraid to hurt his feeling if he knows it. I would rather end it in this way, so he doesnt feel being rejected / unwanted. Because my previous ex's parents ever rejected me because of stupid non-sensical reason and somehow it made me have a low self esteem for years. The way they rejected me , even thought their reason were not true it hurt me deeply. I really dont want to hurt his feeling. I would rather being misunderstood by him , but at least he doesnt have to be hurt deeply. I dont want him feel what i felt last time , when i know my ex's family didnt accept me. Josalina, yes i am quite confuse now. My bf is a divorcee and he has a kid from his ex wife. I can accept that he is a divorcee, even though it is not so easy but i know everybody makes mistake. So, i appreciate that he is honest abt it.But my parents, they make it as another reason to reject him. and i am sure if i tell my bf abt it, he will be so hurt. i cant do that. I am in the situation when i have to choose between my love ones . My parent almost everyday contacted me , just to make sure i dont give him chance . not everybody can afford romance in their life. N somehow i really feel cornered ..leave me in the position where i dont have options anymore.
Rooster_DAR Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Honest is the best policy. All your doing is leaving the other person confused and not understanding what happened. Trust me, if you hide the truth it will probably come out eventually and cause more damage in the long run. roost
Confuggled_one Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 hey i wasnt trying to be offense, but i had the same situation where i was afraid to express my feelings or thoughts.. which ended in a big mess. dont make the same one. since he is older he should have the maturity to accept flaws and work things out together. dont be afraid and just go for it if you two obviously have feelings for one another. got it? good luck
someone_here Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I am concerned about your reasons for breaking up with him. Is it just because your parents don't approve of the relationship? How old are you? If you are over 18 then you don't need your parents permission to date whoever you want to date. I don't have my parents blessing on my relationship but you know what that doesn't bother me. If my girlfriend is not good enough for me I will find out for myself in my own time. I will decide who is good for me and who isn't. Not my parents. thank you for your feedback. I understand that it is abt he and me. I hope it is as simple as that. It is a way of respecting of my parents. i am a family person and i support my family . I am gonna be 30 soon. in my previous relationship i didnt listen to my parents and it was ended badly. My ex cheated on me when we were abt getting married. And from that point, i realized that parents , although they may not sound make sense but they will not harm me and they may see things that i cant see . i did try to talk to my parents abt the guy i am with now. It is not that i just give up that easy .i like this guy a lot but i am afraid he is not the right person. i dont want to get hurt again.
iconic Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 I am concerned about your reasons for breaking up with him. Is it just because your parents don't approve of the relationship? How old are you? If you are over 18 then you don't need your parents permission to date whoever you want to date. I don't have my parents blessing on my relationship but you know what that doesn't bother me. If my girlfriend is not good enough for me I will find out for myself in my own time. I will decide who is good for me and who isn't. Not my parents. btw.. i signed up with name : someone_here. so i hope u r not confused . the more detail reason why i am so unsure abt him, u can read in my thread. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t98591/
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