LDR And I don't have much experience with relationships.

[Osiris113]

Hi, Joined these forums hoping for some advice and maybe even giving help to others. I'm only 17 years old.. I haven't had much relationship experience (have only had one gf before) and lately I've been in a long distance relationship with a girl in mexico for a little over 8 months.We met over the net and won't meet until december. Recently she told me she wanted me to get a gf here because she didn't want me to miss out on things because of our relationship. We still have plans for meeting in december but there are just some issues I need avice with...

 

We are really great together... I mean we havent had very many issues at all.. only one big thing which turned out to be just a misunderstanding between us and... thats it. We talk with eachothers friends and even family and really have fallen in love with eachother. Thing is that she is afraid that my inexperience could lead to my feelings for her fading way.

 

I really don't believe that will happen. I have actually done planning to attend college over where she lives. I'd still be able to get a good education so its not like I'm sacrificing my education for a girl. But I cant go all the way with that until we've met.

 

Can anyone give me some advice... This is the first real relationship I've ever had. The last one I had there was just not caring or anything in it. It was hardly a relationship... So... can this love really last if we can be together for real? I know I'm young but this girl has done so much for me. She helped me get through my depression and many other problems.. I don't want to ever just... grow out of my love for her. Does experience really matter? Can your first love be your only?

[Guest]

Well, am i ever in the same (kind of ) boat as you.

I'm only a year older than you but I met my boyfriend when we were 15. We only got to spend a year together as friends before i switched schools and we were best friends for a year without ever seeing each other, just talking. Then 1 year ago we started dating, and we only see each other once every 2 weeks or so. We're on some pretty strict guidelines and things like that. I only had a very shortlived relationship before now that i don't even consider a relationship.

 

Experience: I don't regret at all having never had alot of boyfriends before him. I love that we are each other's first real relationship and what will be our last one; it adds a fresh innocence and discovery into things that can make everything that much more amazing. And on a practical note for you two, there's no worries over past relationships, and it's a beautiful thing to know that you are each other's only real love. Inexperience is no basis for feelings fading away; i believe less experience can actually enrich the relationship because you're both always discovering new things about each other.

 

Being young: I personally believe that love has no age. It all depends on maturity. Judging by the way you write and think, you seem to be a mature person for 17. Long distance is something that only the strong can handle, and I can actually get very insulted when people downsize my relationship based just on age alone. It's all about growing together, which people do continuously in their lives. (on a side note, the best relationship I have ever seen was my great aunt and uncle, they met at 17 and married 5 years later. They were together for about 70 years, madly in love)

 

So far it sounds like she loves you, (since she was more concerned for your happiness in being able to have a life outside of her, that is sacrifice and true love always sacrifices for anothers happiness) and a first love can definitely be a lasting one. It all depends on how you grow together, and discovering what love really is for both of you.

[Guest]

Have you met this girl for real before? It sounds like shes a little insecure asell, reassure her, have a serious conversation about your LDR working and you both being 100% committed. love conquers all(to be cheesy about things). This will probably be your biggest reassurance, im probably in the same boat as you,im 17 and have been in an LDR with my BF for a year - like a 3000 mile LDR! We've both soooo far been able to make things work with sacfrifes on both ends. It wasnt like we were in a bad place when we met or anything just kinda fell in love. And if it helps also this is my first "real" relashionship and im just taking life one step at a time and yeah i suppose naively or not "following my heart". Hope that helps.