VeryConfused_0105 Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 This weekend after what I consider an uncalled for blow up on my husbands part and the history of lost trust I chose to separate. We have a young son which makes this all the harder. Ultimatly he left and is staying with mutual friends. I am staying home with our son. We want to make it work if it can. I am not so sure that it can. We begin marriage counseling tomorrow. Over the past few days with him gone I haven't cried....I kinda feel bad about that because he's devistated. He'll do anything to come back home. I don't know how to react to my feelings...or lack there of. I am doing fine...or maybe I am just numb from it all. I feel my feelings will come out tomorrow in counseling. I have heard how helpful message boards are so I chose to start a thread with thoughts that it may help me. Please offer your advise. He and I have been together for nearly 8 years since we were in high school. Your advise is appreciated.
ilmw Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Hi and welcome to LS You have realy come to the right place for help... You might want to post more... give more information.... because you will get many more replies if the folks on here know where you are coming from... I'd love to give you advise.. but I would be your husband in similar situation... so I feel my advise would seem baised... all I can say is start reading anything you can get your hands on... about relationships... I would recomend Divorce Busting(the book)... google it. It will realy open your eyes.. Also be prepared to get some candid advice on here... I did:) Be patient.... k Take care ilmw
JamesM Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 Hi and welcome to LS You have realy come to the right place for help... You might want to post more... give more information.... because you will get many more replies if the folks on here know where you are coming from... I'd love to give you advise.. but I would be your husband in similar situation... so I feel my advise would seem baised... all I can say is start reading anything you can get your hands on... about relationships... I would recomend Divorce Busting(the book)... google it. It will realy open your eyes.. Also be prepared to get some candid advice on here... I did:) Be patient.... k Take care ilmw I second this. I also came here through Google, found answers, and have stayed. Maybe register to give us a better picture of who you are. Let me start you out by asking some questions. How long have you been married? How long together? Ages? What caused the blowup? Has this come about suddenly or has it been building up over time? What is the history of distrust? Have you or he had affairs? Do you want him back? What led you to him in the first place? Do you work? And I am sure there are more, but this would be enough to get people started. And yes, you may receive remarks that come off as hurtful, but they are rarely intended that way. People read your posts as they see them....which may not always be as you mean them. I know, I made that mistake a few times. But then you reexplain yourself and get a more clear answer. Good luck...you do have friends here...and many who have been in your shoes.
PWSX3 Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 We begin marriage counseling tomorrow. Over the past few days with him gone I haven't cried....I kinda feel bad about that because he's devistated. He'll do anything to come back home. I don't know how to react to my feelings...or lack there of. The only help I can give is by what I am going thru myself and counseling is the first step, at least there if you are both honest with each other you will have a place that you can talk and hopefully find out why you are not happy. I had a friend open my eyes with an email she sent me because me & my wife are separated right now. She told me; don't worry about if we will get together or not, but to figure out why we aren't happy fix that then go from there because if you don't fix what is wrong then it is like putting a bandage on and that is just a temporary fix. As for your feelings I am the same way right now, I do not miss my wife (it's only been a week) so I asked my counselor & she said that is pretty common, she also said I would have lots of different feelings in the next couple months. In my situation I know what I need to work on so I'm focusing on that right now but my situation is different but hopefully some of this will help.
Recommended Posts