Messed_Up Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 Ok...where do i begin. I've known this guy for 9 years (I went to school with him) I've always been really good friends with him. Apart from when he was 16 he started dating a girl & she told him she didnt want him to talk to me anymore. So we didnt speak for 2 years. The day they split up he rang me up, I told him he lost me the day he decided to ignore me! Then about a year after that I felt bad...I txt him, we arranged to meet up! I met up with him every night for about a month. He told me all this nice crap about how much he likes me and wants us to be together. And then i made the worst ,mistake of all, I slept with him. He then ignored me for about a week, when he txt me saying I cant see us being anything more than mates. We then used to meet up and Id carry on sleeping with him. Knowing that was all he wanted but I couldnt stop myself because I liked him so much. I also have given him hundreds of pounds where he has asked to borrow it and not paid it back, brought him so much stuff where he told me he wanted something so ive brought it. So anyway this went on for about 9 months, then on saturday i was with him and we was laying in bed hugging and he started texting someone. he didnt realise but i could see what he was writing. He was saying I really care about you and I hope you will leave him soon. When he left the room, i grabbed his phone (I know its wrong) and went to his messages, i didnt read any but he had loads from her! So sunday morning when he dropped me home, i txt him saying - 'I know u like someone else, im gonna leave u to it' he text me back saying 'how do u know? its not that easy she has a bf' so i said basically there was no point coz i was gonna get hurt but i still wanna be mates. Since then he hasnt txt me back, rang me or anything. I haven't txt him or rang either coz everyone is telling me not to, I just dunno what to do. I dont wanna lose him as a mate, I wanna be with him but he doesnt and he likes someone else. but i cant stop thinking about him! I just wanna hear from him! Help please...(sorry its so long and thanks for reading it if u have)
Movin On Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 Hi there! I'm sorry to hear about this. If you read my post just below yours (or maybe on top), you will see that I am in a similar situation. My situation is much more simple than you (quick relationship/etc), but those feelings and thoughts are a real pain! If you look up “THOUGHT STOPPING” on the internet, you will see several techniques for stopping intrusive thoughts. Obviously, this guy is a jerk and you want him out of your life. The relationship is FINISHED. But I know it’s so hard not to think of him. Believe me, I am going through it, too. I would LOVE to speak with her. But it's not healthy. And besides, more than anything, like my friends tell me, it gets easier and easier every week... Find a guy who appreciates you, and don't worry... it gets easier!
Author Messed_Up Posted September 6, 2006 Author Posted September 6, 2006 Yeah I have just read your post and thought it was similiar to mine! Its just hard and I know in time it will get easier but its just the thoughts and wondering what he's up to etc. I wanna talk to him but everyone is saying if i ring him its gonna look like i cant let go of him and hes still on my mind. Id just be happier if we could just be mates, he said he wants to be but then ignores me...My head just feels screwed! Anyway thanks for the advice about looking in the net, ill do it now!
Movin On Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 Messed up...... of all people, it's pretty funny for ME to be giving advice! haha. Actually, I have improved a lot over these two weeks. One thing about this 'thought stopping' excercise is to wear a rubber band around your wrist. Everytime your brain starts thinking about him, you SNAP the elastic. I know it sounds stupid, but it works! If it creeps into your mind... SNAP! You wake up and think about him... SNAP.... You think back to lying down with him and cuddling... SNAP... You start dreaming about how great he is... SNAP... ANd then, all of a sudden, you will see yourself snapping less and less. It's kinda interesting!
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