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Posted

Hi all

 

Im a bit confused by the Madonna/Whore Complex as the name seems to be a generic term covering a spectrum of thinking - any 'definitions' or indicators would be helpful

 

I get the basics, but what is the best treatment for this complex?

does it respond well to therapy?

What sort of therapy is most effective?

How long could treatment take if it is responsive?

 

Thanks, BB

Posted

Wow- complex questions!

 

As far as I know if a mans relationship with his wife is based upon the neglected intimacy needs he had as an infant he unconsciously seeks to find a woman who reminds him of his mother.

 

He sees his wife as only the bearer of his seed, and anything more than this (a healthy sex life) is considered dirty, like having sex with his own mother... the purest of all women.

 

I think stock standard therapy would get to the root of this problem. Mothering issues, are all the rage, right?

 

Can I ask why you think someone (I am assuming your SO) has this problem?

  • Author
Posted

thanks pink - not my SO thankfully. shudder.

 

Someone i know - ill quote some of the things shes said:

 

"he feels like he loves me too much in a 'wife' kinda way and it feels wrong to him to be rude / dirty with me'... "

 

"When we do have sex, bf likes me to be dirty and to my knowledge, I don't think we have ever 'made love'. "

 

"says that he 'just doesn't feel like having sex'. I have given up trying to find ways of us having sex more often, tried to give him massages, be flirty, wear sexy clothes...nothing seems to work. "

 

Can therapy actually treat the complex (assuming that it is Madonna/Whore) or is it likely just to find the root of the issue? I know that some problems are more responsive than others and no amount of googling will answer the question.

 

Thanks again

Posted

Sounds like this is more of a relationship therapy problem, rather than an individual therapy problem.

  • Author
Posted

Ta pink

 

even this?

 

"he feels like he loves me too much in a 'wife' kinda way and it feels wrong to him to be rude / dirty with me'... "

 

It was that comment that made me consider the complex.

  • Author
Posted

This has been said too:

 

"he felt strange sleeping with me because of how much he felt for me...."

Posted

Hmmm, I would just reccomend couples counselling to start with... I am sure the counsellor would be able to advise the next steps...

 

Sometimes erectile dsyfunction in a marriage can be triggered by this mentality. Although I am sure you don't want to ask about that :p

  • Author
Posted

Although I am sure you don't want to ask about that

 

nothing ventured, nothing gained. :laugh:

 

Hi Bo baby! Someones just pmd me that link. You lot are as hot as ever

Posted
Although I am sure you don't want to ask about that

 

nothing ventured, nothing gained. :laugh:

 

Hi Bo baby! Someones just pmd me that link. You lot are as hot as ever

 

Hey mama, Hah, call it zeitgeist. :p

Posted
Hey mama, Hah, call it zeitgeist. :p

 

I always say I am studying sexual zeitgeist at unviersity if people catch on to me being a bit too voyueristic :lmao: It's my get out of jail free card :p perhaps literally!

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