I can stop think of her!

[BrokenHalo]

Ok this past summer I've been through hell and back. First of all, I've had a tiny problem with my sexuality (not knowing if I'm bisexual or not). Second, not having a boyfriend for 2 years because of..... nevermind. And last my insane search for "the one." Now my problem hadn't been a problem at all, it started out very well and friendly. My friend [the girl] and I are co-workers nationally we only see each other maybe once or twice a year (for only three days mind you), she lives in Maryland and I live in Texas. We really didn't start out as friends even though we've worked together for going on two years now, the first time we met/ official talked we we're on a bus in San Fransisco, Ca going back to our hotel along with the other girls in our group. Being the social butterfly that I am I say "Hey I like you bag" her not [being the social butterfly] "um.......yeah.....thanks" and ending with her giving me a wicked evil look. I never spoke with her again until eleven months later were we were standing in line in line getting lunch @ an Assembly and us making weirld jokes about the food (don't ask lol) and we sat together which really sparked our friendship. It was a great friendship we hung out the whole week! She even came to my concert in Cali and took awesome pics of me! Sadly we had to part for two months but when we met again it was different, still a perfect friendship but different. We hungout the first minute we got off the plane (she had to fly into Dallas) and when we walked to and from the meetings she always walk locked on my arm (I didn't mind though) and she showed me her art work and I showed her my scripts it was great. OK now the good part, it just so happens my birthday was the Saturday we were in Kansas for that meeting and the girls threw me this huge party (ok not that huge but it was thoughtful) and the whole time people were mingling with me (as usual) it caught my eye that she was sitting back in the corner like an old boyfriend or something observing the crowd around me. I leave the crowd and join her, as I arrive she welcomes me by saying "Hey sexy" I say "yo, why are you in the back like this? Join us...join me!" she replys "I don't wanna impose on your public." Later that night I get a birthday gift I would never forget, after jokingly telling the other girls I wanted MALE strippers they take me into there dorm room and do a strip show for me (nothing to much) it was hilarious! I go back to tell her and I go "wow I'm officially a lesbian (lol)" and she goes "well do you like girls?" being truthful I say "I'm not sure but I have had problems with my sexuality" "hmmm....ok." Soon later I find her on the phone with her "best friend" Carlos and I lay on the bed next to her bed she gets off the phone and turns out the light and lays next to me (its pitch black) I get up and say "wait here let me just change into my bed clothes" I come back and she's back on the phone with Carlos. As I sit next to her she starts pulling on the necklace she gave me and holding on my hands as if she was me girlfriends (all flirtly and stuff) finally she gets off the phone and says "I gotta pee" I go "uh...TMI (lol)" and laid down on her bed. She come back in the room and lay next to me once again turning off the lights. Long story short we started making out in the dorm room for, like, 20 min. but I wouldn't sleep with her and she got really pissed and left me lying there. She was upset because I straight! BUT SHE IS THE ONLY GIRL I'LL EVER BE ATTRACTED TO!!! I don't know if it love or maybe I just like the chase. She won't talk to me about it. I can stop think of her! What is this?

 

HELP!!