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Posted

I recently ended a relationship with a man I found out had a child from a previous relationship. Call me old fashion but I was raised with the belief that having children out of wedlock is a sin. I have had a hard time accepting men who have children from other relationships, regardless of whether they're fathers or not. In this case the man I was dating had signed away his rights, so he wasn't involved in the child's life. The one thing I will say is he was very honest about his past, as he could've chose not to tell me, and I would’ve never known. The only thing I wished is that I would've known sooner, because I feel like I've wasted my time and his as well.

 

What I want to know is if it's okay to ask whether a guy you're interested in has children early on in the relationship?

Posted

Guest,

 

Yes. In my honest opinion it is a good idea to ask if he has children.

 

Strange that you mention this, because I am about to ask my male friend if he has children. I hope he doesn't.

Posted

I think it's fair to ask early in the relationship. If he does have children, you will be saving both his time and yours. :)

Posted

You have a right to know this information...I'm not sure how long you should wait to ask that question...it's rather a personal one. Sometimes if the person is actively involved with their children they'll mention it as background info on a date, but if it's some kind of one night stand they may be reluctant to tell you. I've heard horror stories where some woman marries a man and years later into their marriage a child shows up one day and says he or she is looking for their dad. Hopefully whomever you date...they'll be completely honest.

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