Irishguy3137 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Hey guys, Before I even begin I would like to say the reason I'm posting here to begin with is the calibre of people that seem to frequent this sight. You all seem to be genuinely good people, intelligent, and sensitive to what people write. I could be wrong, but as a general label for what i've read up to this point that is what I see. I always like a respectable opinion, because often times you need to be told to see things from a different viewpoint before learning anything...and afterall there is only so much you can gain off of personal experience, when the way you handle something can be the exact opposite to someone else's methods. Without further rambling i'd like to go into my situation...which to be fair isnt' a *bad* situation, it is simply living life and would like the views from others. I've been with my girlfriend, for a bit over 6 months. We've covered alot of ground and as a matter a fact we are actually engaged. I'd openly admit if i felt it was rushed but it was actually something we had talked about alot, discussed what we really wanted out of a partner and a committment, out of the relationship in general, expectations while in college of one another, future plans involving financial and just the general kind of life style we'd like to have. Bottom line it wasn't something where we were absorbed by how good it felt to have one another and then hypnotized into thinking we were *the one* for each other...there was far more to it then that. Anyways, the biggest adaptation recently has been in fact the move to college. I decided to stay local, for the sake of the relationship honestly. I simply rearranged my campus for xxx state and here i am. As for her she went to yyy, a great college for nursing and things in the medical field, and i told her it would be good for her. I support that she has goals and wants to complete them, it makes her the incredible person that she is. Anyways, just the general change of distance, which granted it isn't far compared to most (an hour and a half drive roughly) but still it is quite an adjustment from going from being 10 minutes away to that. Anyways for beginners i've been trying my best to keep busy, but that only works so well. I talk to her through text messages, and the occassional phone call, all the same i respect she has work to do, and dont try to break into that time she she needs for her schooling. What i would like to know is how others had coped and got better when the distance initially took place, when the move had just occured. Sure once you get in a groove things become more manageable, but in the beginning, at least for me, im finding it hard to get used to. Other then that, I trust her. I completely trust her in terms of committment and in terms of loyalty. I consider myself to be a protective guy, she likes that. She actually encouraged me to speak up for her if i notice a guy being obnoxious, which that actually happened when someone was visiting her dorm roomate and the guy was a bit too forward with where his eyes went. I ended up walking into the lounge to cool off because it was too apparent, I'm not the kind who threatens a fight, i just told him that I didn't know if it was intentional but we both noticed him looking at her, i pulled her close kissed her forehead said shes with me, and i wasn't all right with how he was acting, and asked him if that was going to be a problem. It ended with him saying he respects that and turning into mr. friendly...only to realize later he was intimidated. But what im getting at is getting a point across to me doesn't mean having to pick a fight, but simply voicing how things are, while still being polite. The only reason I say this story is to ask, did I do the right thing, or would someone else have handled it another way? Lastly, the last thing id like advice on is her roomate. Her intentions seem off center. She made a point of telling me how My fiance is loyal to me, without me really asking. I was talking about how I was loyal to her. But then she decided to mention how a guy recently hit on her and how she handled it well. I was never told about it, for the reason that those kind of things can be handled and nitpicking is unneccesary, the roomate throwing that out there I didn't think much of until it went further into the convo, I was explaining how I didn't like alot of people my age, that I felt there intentions and motives were poor and that I just considered myself to be a lot more mature then a majority of people my age (I'm 21 by the way), and she had the audacity to ask why I was with my fiance saying she wasn't the most mature person ect. I just felt that was out of line. I didn't think much of it until later when I wastalking to my fiance about it and she was saying how she was doing various things that were bothering her, between the way she was looking at me, and just putting on my leather jacket when im not at the campus, ect. To my gf, it felt like she was trying to make a steady uneasiness grow, which won't happen because were unified and take on problems of all sorts together. What is worse off is the fact her roomate is getting into the whole stage of smoking alot of pot, and drinking, and I feel that my fiance can handle herself fine, but all the same it doesn't make me comfortable she is around that kind of thing...and don't really want people around her that are going to be that way either. Do you guys feel I have a place to say something about that, or am I out of line to mention anything? As in saying I would prefer she would avoid hanging out with her roomate? By that I mean breakfast sure spend it with her, being around the room at the same time is unavoidable, but I mean extra curricular things, like going to the movies and things like that. Is it wrong of me to voice discomfort about it? Well I thank anyone who took the time to read that novel. ALl responses will be appreciated. The name is Sean by the way. Take care all.
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