Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I usually date older men who earn more than I do, and I'm used to them picking up the tab. The one time I dated a guy my age, he was from a wealthier family so he paid for me often and bought me gifts. I'm currently seeing a guy my age who is from a less well to do family who is not working, and he is still paying off his study loan as well. At first I picked up the tab alot and paid for other stuff, but now it's beginning to bother me. He doesn't consciously leech off me but he doesn't object when I offer to pay. When he does pay, he either pays for the less expensive stuff or expects the bill to be split between us. One time we held a dinner party for friends at a restaurant and he paid first. The next day he texted me the amount I had to pay, right down to the last dollar. In fact I think he rounded the amount upwards so I ended up paying him more. It may be an insignificant amount but I'm starting to feel being taken advantage of in our relationship, especially since I dislike dating men who are too calculating and I have always felt that if a man loved and cared about you, he would want to pay your way, or at least not mind the odd dollar here and there. Should I be concerned about this issue or should I put it down to him being in a tight financial situation? We've only been dating for two months and he will be finding a job soon. In other ways, he is sweet, thoughtful and considerate. However I love men with a generous personality and if he is tight fisted, I am quite sure it will bother me down the line. Am I being reasonable here?
The Voice Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 your question : Should you be concerned about this guy being somewhat conservative with his money? Answer: Yes. and Ill tell you why: This trait of his: Its bothering you now. It has always somewhat bothered you and will probably continue to bother you. and thats fine. I am bothered by heights...we are all entitled to our own opinion... The question you asked is "Should I consider this a problem??" of course the answer is yes!! The question you have to ask is how do I overcome this Problem? or do I want to overcome this problem? Maybe you can wait it out. Maybe it will go away. Maybe you can sit him down and have a talk. Maybe you can just let it fester until you have to leave him. I can only offer MAYBES nothing certain... now I not going to say that "your Wrong" or that "you forgot to do this" or "should do that"...I can never comprehend the specifics of the situation based on a forum posting. This should all be a glimpse of hope should you really want to stay with this guy. I cant correct you or give you the right answer but hopefully I can help you enter the right frame of mind...
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