Backtosquare_one Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 i am not used to write to this kinda web , yet i think you all may see the situation better than i do . ok, this is my story. I fell in love with this gal . She is smart, charming, beautiful and well manered. Very understanding and kind-hearted. After went for few dates , i told her that i fall in love with her , and i wanted she and i to be officially together. She didnt say anything just give me a hug and said that is really sweet . So i took it as a "yes " answer and that night we made love. I was really glad that she didnt reject me. the day after , she asked me if we can be just stay as friends. I said to her that for me she is more than just a friend and i cant treat her as anybody. Because she is special for me. She said she is not sure if the relationship will work. I said to her that i would try my best to make it work. And she said nothing but " ok " and just stared at me. So i thought the problem was solved. Last night, i brought her to dinner and all of sudden she asked me what if she goes to London to work for few years and she asked what i am gonna do. I was quite sad and surprised , curious as well. I was abit confuse what kinda answer i should give . I want to stop her but i cant do so. She ever told me that next month she is going to italy. And i asked her what she is gonna do there, but she didnt tell me. I asked why she asked me such a question , as though she is going to stay London or italy (i dont know) for good. She said she is not gonna go anywhere, she just asked casually. I asked her what she is actually plan to do in italy, she didnt answer just joke that She is selling drugs there. Is she playing games or something ? I always find that there are something that hidden or not clear abt her. I love her and like her very much... but i dont know what is in her heart ...i know she is not easy girl type. Sometimes i find her very mysterious. If you guys were me, what would you do ? i really dont know how to keep her with me...
Kinger25 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Sounds like she's playing games to me. If she really liked you then she would give you straight answers to your questions. If she is talking about going away and that is why she doesn't want a relationship at the moment then fine, but it sounds like she is not being clear about what she is doing and is playing mind games with you. This might sound harsh but do you think she maybe be using you for sex? If I had just met a guy and he was really into me but I was not so keen on him I would just tell him straight away. If I did like him aswell but was going away for a while, I would still be honest with him. She hasn't given you ANY straight answers. Seems like she likes the feeling of power that it gives her when she makes you unsure about yourself. Its typical mind game material. She loves the fact that you want her and she feels like she can play you like a puppet on a string. You should distance yourself from her a bit. Even if its hard to do this because you have such strong feelings for her, you should try it and see where it gets you. If she is like I think she is then she will either warm to you if you show her the cold shoulder or she will be gone. Either way, at least you'll know where you stand. Women prefer strong men. We dont like needy insecure men, just as most men like independent women. A strong woman needs a strong man behind her and without sounding rude, you seem as though you may come accross to her as a little bit desperate to get together with her. Its that old cliche "treat em mean, keep em keen" doesn't ALWAYS work but in this situation its worth a try. Good Luck
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Dude, she gave you the "let's just be friends" speech. That's the kiss of death.
littlepiggy1 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 What is she trying to say? It sounds to me like she doesn't want to be in a relationship with you anymore. Heck, she already stated her doubts and said she "wants to be friends".
sockpuppet Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Telling a girl you're in love with her after a few dates is movie material that rarely works the way you planned it in real life. A lot of times it can just freak someone out to hear that so soon, other times it'll give them the green light to know they practically own you, and it'll leave you open to manipulation. You need to get away from her, and look at the signs she's given you...You shouldn't have to chase her like that, and don't ever beg. If she was that into you, she wouldn't be playing these games and she wouldn't have said she just wanted to be friends. Find someone who actually acts like they want you.
insomnie Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Sounds like she's using you for a power trip. She cleary doesn't want you as a boyfriend - she's told you that much her let's be friends comment. And she must not respect you that much as a perosn or friend, etiher, if she continues to hang out with you wihtout giving you any clear answers about her plans or intentions. If you don't wnat to continue to be treated like a doormat, get out now.
backtosquare_one Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Sounds like she's playing games to me. If she really liked you then she would give you straight answers to your questions. If she is talking about going away and that is why she doesn't want a relationship at the moment then fine, but it sounds like she is not being clear about what she is doing and is playing mind games with you. This might sound harsh but do you think she maybe be using you for sex? If I had just met a guy and he was really into me but I was not so keen on him I would just tell him straight away. If I did like him aswell but was going away for a while, I would still be honest with him. She hasn't given you ANY straight answers. Seems like she likes the feeling of power that it gives her when she makes you unsure about yourself. Its typical mind game material. She loves the fact that you want her and she feels like she can play you like a puppet on a string. You should distance yourself from her a bit. Even if its hard to do this because you have such strong feelings for her, you should try it and see where it gets you. If she is like I think she is then she will either warm to you if you show her the cold shoulder or she will be gone. Either way, at least you'll know where you stand. Women prefer strong men. We dont like needy insecure men, just as most men like independent women. A strong woman needs a strong man behind her and without sounding rude, you seem as though you may come accross to her as a little bit desperate to get together with her. Its that old cliche "treat em mean, keep em keen" doesn't ALWAYS work but in this situation its worth a try. Good Luck i dont think she uses me for sex. she is not physical person although she was very hot in bed though. She ever told me that she likes me a lot and she missed me when i was away . Even she called me. She doesnt appear to be someone who is manipulative. She ever mentioned that she had bad experience with his fiance. That her last bf was cheating on her when she was abt getting married and she said from that point she didnt give guys chance to date her. it was one year back. And i heard from some friends that was true and my friends told me that she is the difficult type. She has many guys after her and she just ignored them ,straight away. And some friends told me that i might be the first guy she dated after a year of no guys in her life. i cant think clearly now... i called her and texted her , no reply...yet she always pops up in my mind.
Rikka Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I don't think you are going to be the first guy she dates after a year, from what you have posted, she just isn't that into you. She doesn't want a relationship with you (hence the comments about moving and her vagueness about her trip). I don't think she is intentionally playing head games with you (but she is none the less). I don't think this situation is going to turn out well for you if you keep persisting. I agree with the other posters, walk away and move on.
backtosquare_one Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 I don't think you are going to be the first guy she dates after a year, from what you have posted, she just isn't that into you. She doesn't want a relationship with you (hence the comments about moving and her vagueness about her trip). I don't think she is intentionally playing head games with you (but she is none the less). I don't think this situation is going to turn out well for you if you keep persisting. I agree with the other posters, walk away and move on. after reading all the post i told my self that i will move on. guess what ? out of the blue she called me and she said she wanted to meet up. So i met her without hoping anything. that night, she sounded so sad and she told me that she loves me but she also mentioned that she is not sure abt me . she is scared of me because she doesnt know me well and she feel like i am a stranger who comes into her life out of nowhere. She hugged me for quite long . i was totally confuse what i should do. She said she is going to Italy for business trip and she said that i am important for her. my mind was trying to understand what actually is happening. Is it a part of the game or she is having commitment phobia kinda thing ? is she telling the true or just play me ?
littlepiggy1 Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 She still sounds flaky to me. Could be commitment phobia or just a mind game. Either way, I would give her her space until she can figure out what the heck she wants.
backtosquare_one Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 She still sounds flaky to me. Could be commitment phobia or just a mind game. Either way, I would give her her space until she can figure out what the heck she wants. i will give her space. But how long do guys usually give times to someone that u are interested in / someone u are with to make up their mind? during that time , how do you handle when you miss them?? are you just keeping no contact at all or stay as friends?
backtosquare_one Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 She isn't interested in you. Move on. ok guys, i am in the mission of "moving on " . and again... she called me few and texted me . I am out of town now for business trip, and that night she accompanied me in the airport and she said she will pick me up in the airport.Even though it is quite early in the morning (7am) . She said she will wait for me. and today she texted me said that she missed me and she also said that she hopes i am someone that she can trust. She did explain that she is afraid of getting hurt again. Should i just ignore or see how things go ? i dont know if she plays me or whatever... i cant think straight now...
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