gordon_gc Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 few months ago, i was with a girl on the basis of FWB. We got along really well and totally behaved like a couple. Only thing is i wouldnt commit and become exclusive boyfriend. She wanted me to. I was scared and still am ! After going through a few posts here, I have realised that it's not nice for her. Still, I can't help being scared of loosing her as well. I feel like I am missing a chance of being with a great girl just so i can keep my independance and shag around. Mostly, I wanted to make sure I am independent and happy with myself before trying to be happy with someone. I am just so lost at making a decision and would like to hear advices and experiences of some of you. Thanks
Rossco Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 Do you feel you're still too young to settle down? Are you two still "friends" or did she move on? It's good that you were honest with her, but it WOULD be a shame if she was the one for you.
monkey00 Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 So youre saying you want the chance to experience what else is out there and at the same time you dont want to lose her...well thats tough, its very hard to have the best of both worlds. FWB will be temporary, eventually one person wants more like you mentioned. She wants to be your gf...do understand she wont be around forever waiting for your decision. you can suggest having an open relationship with her...but are fully capable of seeing her be with someone other than you? if you answer no to that question, then u know what must be done.
cocoblue Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 If you want this girl, go after her. Don't leave her hanging. I'm or was in a similar situation, so I can tell you from a female perspective, don't do that to her. Man up and let her know what you want and how you feel and then let her make the decision as to what she wants to do. Trust me when I tell you, if this girl is into you and if decide to do the right thing by her, you'll be so glad that you did. Please don't hurt her like I've been hurt. It's no fun.
norajane Posted September 12, 2006 Posted September 12, 2006 I feel like I am missing a chance of being with a great girl just so i can keep my independance and shag around. Mostly, I wanted to make sure I am independent and happy with myself before trying to be happy with someone. Independence and shagging around are two separate things. You can be independent and happy with yourself without shagging around and while with a girlfriend. You can be shagging around and be unhappy and completely dependent on whatever thrill you get from the shags. Independence is being able to stand on your own two feet, take responsibility for your actions, make good decisions for your life that help you meet your goals, and take care of yourself without needing someone to clean up your messes after you. Can you do that while dating and falling in love with your friend? Absolutely.
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