Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I went out on date with a guy I've liked for a long time. I have suspicions that he's seeing other girls at the same time as me. He claims he doesn't have a girlfriend and now I feel I have to compete to get his attention. I feel that if he likes me I shouldn't have to do anything special to make him mine and if he prefers someone else then so be it. Do others agree....or should women compete for a what they want in the name of love?
Guest Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I went out on date with a guy I've liked for a long time. I have suspicions that he's seeing other girls at the same time as me. He claims he doesn't have a girlfriend and now I feel I have to compete to get his attention. I feel that if he likes me I shouldn't have to do anything special to make him mine and if he prefers someone else then so be it. Do others agree....or should women compete for a what they want in the name of love? How long have you been dating him? From your first sentence, I wonder if it's just once. If so, I wouldn't be too concerned about him dating other people, if that's what he's doing. What would bother me though, would be that he's telling you he's not. If he is, then he's lying. If he's not, then you're starting off on the wrong foot with the trust thing!
Walk Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 The way your post reads, it sounds like you only went on 1 date with the guy. Is that correct? To answer the latter portion of your post. No, I don't feel women should compete for a man's attention. Be who you are. Be true to yourself. If you put on an act to capture this guys attention, and he finds out later that you aren't the person you portrayed yourself as, it'll kill any relationship you may have had. Have some confidence in who you are. Give him time to see that person inside of you. I guess... I would look at this situation with the mentality that I would go and have fun with the guy while out with him. I wouldn't expect him to change his ways for me. If he likes me enough that he wants me more fully in his life, then he will. But it's not my job to convince him, nor do I want someone I've "tricked" into liking me. He either likes me for who I am, or we part ways. Last thought.. if you are extremely uncomfortable with him potentially dating other women while dating you (assuming this is only during the early stages of dating), then drop him and find someone who's views more closely align to your own. If you two have been dating for 3 months and you still feel he's dating other women, yet neither of you have talked about it.. then it's probably not a relationship that will last. Otherwise, just go and have fun. No one's made a life long commitment to just the one person. You two are just getting to know each other. Laugh a lot, have fun, and get to know each other... enjoy the moment.
superconductor Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 If you haven't had the "exclusivity" talk, then there shouldn't be any expectation of being only with you. Maybe he is going out with other girls, maybe he isn't. But until you and he work out some sort of exclusive arrangement, it's really none of your business.
bluechocolate Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 If you haven't had the "exclusivity" talk, then there shouldn't be any expectation of being only with you. Maybe he is going out with other girls, maybe he isn't. But until you and he work out some sort of exclusive arrangement, it's really none of your business. You wouldn't think this needs saying really, but I guess it does. OP, btw - you too are free to date others.
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