gf of 4 1/2 yrs leaves

[toledoOX]

Well i'll give the whole story so you all can give the best advice. My ex and i started dating during our senior year in high school. i was in a rotten relationship that i needed out of when she asked me out. i said yes. we spent the next 6 months basically in puppy love untill i left for college which was 2 hrs away. first year of school i didn't have a car so the only time we would see each other was when she came to visit. generally once a month. we talked on the phone every night though. then i came home for the sumer. everything is still fine at this point, and we still have not had any real fights. i then left for a 6 month internship in florida (we're from ohio) i saw her once during this about halfway through, but we we're still not having any issues. i can home and went right back to school. i for the next 3 years i never came back "home" to live again. during the end of our 3 yr together we started fighting but not to often. everything is still fine. Then last fall i lost my mother suddenly to a heart attack. she was there for me and i was "home" for about a month. after my mom's passing we started fighting alot more, basically me yelling about very stupid things but all in all we still loved each others company. this has continued all through the last year. we were really rocky over the summer. in june i bought an engagement ring (we had talked about marrage several times before) the plan was to propose in august when we went to disney world. we we had a really bid one sided fight in early july 30 (me yelling about a $6 parking pass at a concert) we left for florida everything seemed fine. on day 2 of our 7 day trip i proposed in the rose garden at the Magic Kingdom during the wishes fireworks. she was shocked but had tears and the BIGGEST smile on her face and said yes. on the way back to the hotel she calls some friends. then leaves to call her mom (her mom has not liked me since day 1) after 45 min she comes back hands me the ring and says she doesn't love me anymore. the rest of the trip ackward but we still had fun. we've been back for 3 weeks now. these 3 weeks have been strange going from not talking to going to dinner and a movie this past friday. she says she doesn't love me anymore but says only came to that conclusion right before we left for florida. I have apologized for treating her like **** for the past 1 yr. we seem to make ground and then take 2 steps back. i know she's the one. we match up so well. when we are together we are happy and findbut as soon as i leave everything changes again. what should i do. i know i love her and i know she still loves me (deep somewhere) as well. (i believe she;s just built a large wall because of me always leaving to go back to school and from me yelling the past yr. how to i uncover that love again.

[Shuffty]

'Uncover that love' i think is a nice way of saying 'make her love me again' and i hate to be the one to break it to you, but you can't make someone love you. Maybe it is because you're always away, it probably doesn't help that you yelled at her, but sometimes feelings just change. She probably does still love you on some level, but that's not enough for her to stay with you and constantly argue, which btw isn't miraculously going to solve itself if you get back together/married.

 

Or you may have to face the possibility that although she may be 'the one' for you, you might not be for her. Sorry.

[Guest]

Just a little hint: you guys are both young, and she is not "the one."