britchick Posted September 5, 2006 Posted September 5, 2006 I really feel for you and your children. My son went through a similar experience at his primary school which came to a head when he was about 8 years old. In this case it was a group of 'traveller' children (that's gypsies for those that don't know). Again it was a small group, but they made his life hell, I seemed to spend most of my time at the school complaining. When four of them beat my sons head off the ground, I withdrew him from the school and called the police. Police weren't interested, the head teacher gave the perpetrators some pathetic punishment but refused to even contact their parents because she was scared of them. The best results came from working with the school governors (even though he never stepped through those school gates again). It took eighteen months but the headteacher was sacked for mishandling the situation and lying about it. In his new school my son's progress was fantastic and he was very happy. I'm so glad I pursued this even after our problems were over. When I told my son the headteacher had been sacked he felt vindicated. I was really happy for him. Good luck.
Author wismom71 Posted September 5, 2006 Author Posted September 5, 2006 Thank you britchick. Its nice to hear of someone who has been in a similar situation. And kind of comforting as well. I'm glad to hear that your son improved so much. Hopefully my daughters will experience the same kind of improvement.
britchick Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 I'm sure they will. I really understand how painful all this is for you, I know I had many sleepless nights and felt terribly guilty for putting my son in danger, but they should be safe at school for gods sake. It did take some time for my son to 'recover' from this episode, he had nightmares etc. I even asked him if he wanted to speak to someone else apart from me about it (ie. counsellor) but he said no he just wanted to talk to me. I made it clear, anytime he felt sad to tell me and we would have sometime together talking and having a cuddle, I think it was important to show him that I understood his feelings wouldn't all go away just because he was away from danger now. His new school knew what had happened and were brilliant, kept a close eye on him etc. I hope it turns out as well for you and your daughters.
apindal Posted September 6, 2006 Posted September 6, 2006 I'll tell you what, it sure is scary nowadays. My niece is in high school and one of friends had her head smashed thru a vending machine display window at school one day by black girls, because she was dating a black guy. She suffered minor brain-damage and I guess its permanent. The girls were expelled but I don't think they ever got criminally charged, but for crying out loud they damaged a girl for life! Very scary.
Guest Posted September 7, 2006 Posted September 7, 2006 First things first, you need to move. Those girls have been the victims of violence, mental and emotional abuse, and apparently have a severely warped self image. Where do you live, if you don't mind my asking? How far are you planning to move? What kind of place are you looking to move to? I'd move to a place with more white folks so that your girls can feel a sense of belonging and hopefully that will help encourage their self-esteem and self-image to improve. I'd also consider getting all three of them psychological counseling to also try to improve their self-image. I have to say, I am a White American and I DO find it shocking and I do care. I understand your hope that things would get better and I don't want to beat you up for it. But really, DO NOT be concerned about what other will people will think about you. Your beautiful girls are being tortured! Their safety and physical/mental wellbeing is far more important than whether or not someone else thinks you are "racist."
Guest Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 The ones who are racist are those that have put the fear of God into you for daring to be concerned about your childrens' safety because the perpetrators happen to be black. If white children had beaten them up they would be little thugs and bullies, and that's exactly what these children are, their race shouldn't enter the equation. You've got to ask yourself why the notion of being thought racist is a worse crime than violence and abuse of children. It's now a trigger word that is over-used and makes situations like yours harder to solve. I'm sorry that you have to move your children because it isn't your fault, your family are the victims of racism; I wouldn't even blame those black children overmuch, they've had their attitudes instilled into them from others too and the whole result is not pretty, is it? You've got an uphill battle now to get your childrens' self-worth back, but now that you've realised the scope of the problem I know you'll do a great job in future. Best wishes. Susiexx
Buttaflyy Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 Racism is racism and anyone can be racist. There is no such thing as reverse racism. With that being said...DO NOT concern yourself with being looked upon as racist. Who cares about that at this point? Your daughters are being abused in every way possible and you must protect them. They should have been removed long ago, they should not be subjected to such brutal treament and once you do move them to another school, they MUST report their attackers. I am very sorry that they went through this. You have alot of work in repairing their self images. I think it's too much for you to do alone and they need some sort of counsel. They have been mentally and emotionally harmed as well. And to Burnin4revenge...you are still and a$$!
Mz. Pixie Posted September 8, 2006 Posted September 8, 2006 I live near a big city and in the city, I'm the minority- being white. In the dept I work in I'm one of just a few white people vs a larger black workforce. There is plenty of racism directed towards whites in my area and I've experienced it myself. Regardless of who is beating on your child like that- white or black- they need to be moved to another school. Bless their hearts. Who cares what people think?? This is their welfare and they depend on you to protect them.
Guest Posted September 9, 2006 Posted September 9, 2006 Anybody beating up on anyone else because of their race is racist. Therefore, the term reverse racism is just superflous. If your girls are being beaten up because of the way they look, move them to a different school. It doesn't have to be a "white" school but can be a nice mixed mosaic that respects diversity. Sue the school board for failing to address a bullying issue to the extent that your child suffered physical harm. I find it hard to believe that your daughters believe that blond is not beautiful while black is because the media perpetuates and immerses the world in the ideal of white beauty with even South American and Black women being mixed and not usually solely one race. Regardless, we should teach our children that there is beauty in every race and not just black, white, etc.
PuppyDogEyes Posted September 10, 2006 Posted September 10, 2006 Actually I am in Washington D.C. Why did you think I am in Atlanta? I'm nearby D.C. Very tough city, indeed. I'm actually not surprised that your daughters are experiencing what they are, as I went through the same thing (I'm white and attended a nearly all-black public school). All that I can advise at this point is to get your daughters to another school, and quickly. This kind of bullying is going to scar them for life, if it hasn't already. And it will make them that much more afraid of African-Americans as a whole. Even now I feel slight stirrings of apprehension if I'm in a populated place where I'm in the minority, because of my previous experiences. Wrong? Yes, maybe, but it still sticks with me. I think you're suffering from "white guilt" - you feel bad for all of the previous mistreatment that African-Americans have suffered, so you might be trying to overcompensate. At this point, you know what? I don't fall for it anymore. Everyone has a chance to better themselves, no matter what the color of their skin - and if someone wants to be lazy, hey... African-American or Caucasian, they deserve whatever they're willing to work for. My opinion, of course. -pde.
Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 You should have known that putting your children in a mostly black school would be detrimental to your children's physical and psychological health. 90% of all interracial crime is perpetrated by Blacks on Whites. You seem to be more concerned about your reputation than you are about your children's safety. If being "racist" will ensure the safety of your children, then be "racist".
Buttaflyy Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 You should have known that putting your children in a mostly black school would be detrimental to your children's physical and psychological health. 90% of all interracial crime is perpetrated by Blacks on Whites. You seem to be more concerned about your reputation than you are about your children's safety. If being "racist" will ensure the safety of your children, then be "racist". Can clearly see your message and agree with it to some point. But your statics are warped. It's just not true.
Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 What you've got is a crappy school in a crappy area. I don't care what race anyone is. The fact that the school administrators don't take this seriously is a VERY bad sign. Where I live, and have lived, a beating like that even in one of the worst schools would warrant police attention and the school being shut down for investigation. I can't believe you let them continue going to this school for so long! A lot of damage has already been done and it will probably take years in a nurturing environment to heal. There may even be behavioral problems in your future as a result of this. There's only one way to handle a problem like this. You MOVE PROMPTLY! Whether that requires begging friends or family. If money is an issue, get the father to take some responsibility for the childrens welfare! Also, I would file suit against the school system and the school in that area. Get the other parents of beaten children in on it. They are responsible for a reasonable level of security and IMHO have failed to provide it at all. At the very least, you can get a modest out of court settlement to offset moving expenses.
Guest Posted September 11, 2006 Posted September 11, 2006 BTW, no school or organization is going to take you seriously if you don't act serious. MAKE NOISE! Seek out local news and hire a lawyer. Write letters to the governor, mayor, high-level school officials, police officials. Whomever will listen to you! Don't be afraid to point fingers and yell. File lawsuits against all involved. They WILL take you seriously if they think you'll cause trouble.
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