darksoul Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 Ok here is my situation, I have been living with my partner for nearly six years. She moved over here in 2001 and we have lived happily together since. But here is the story, when she moved over here she did not have many friends and we would always socialise together and we always had fun. Up until last year that remained the same but then her best friend came over to the UK from Australia and with a working visa, I did not really hang around with them much as I wanted both of them to spend as much time as they could with each other. Her friend went back on Monday and on Tuesday my girlfriend announced that she wanted to leave me and that it was best for both of us. This was a complete bolt out of the blue as we were only talking about what we would be doing for Christmas the day before! She has now moved out and we have agreed to take a 3 month break as she needs to go and "find herself" and that "I need to find myself to". I am now left to pay my rent for the next 3 months and its going to financially difficult. I feel like I just want to die at the moment as I had no indication that this was going to happen or why it is happening. My question is what do I do in these 3 months? Ignore her? beg for her to come back? Any adivce would be so grateful as its killing me.
bluechocolate Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I am now left to pay my rent for the next 3 months and its going to financially difficult. Do you have a lease on this place together, ie. signed by both of you? Has she offered anything knowing that this would leave you in a financial bind? My question is what do I do in these 3 months? Ignore her? beg for her to come back? I wouldn't be doing any begging. If she needs to find herself then she needs to do that without you. In the meantime I would seriously consider giving notice & getting a smaller, cheaper place. btw - are you sure there isn't another man involved here? One her & her friend met whilst going out without you around? Six years seems a bit late to get homesick all of a sudden IMO.
Author darksoul Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 There is no other person involved, though we have taken a trial split we have never cheated. Besides she never spent a night over at her friends house. So you think I should just play it safe in the meantime and let her get in contact with me?
bluechocolate Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 So you think I should just play it safe in the meantime and let her get in contact with me? Yes. No doubt she knows how you feel. No doubt you went over this before she left. There really isn't much to gain from going over it again & again. In fact it may just drive her further away. She needs time away, agree with her. She needs some time alone, agree with her. Do not try to convince her of something else, that will only work against you. She initiated the break up so she is going to have to be the one to initiate the reconciliation, if there is going to be one. ....my girlfriend announced that she wanted to leave me and that it was best for both of us. then this.... She has now moved out and we have agreed to take a 3 month break as she needs to go and "find herself"... You also need to be preparing yourself that she isn't coming back.
Author darksoul Posted September 4, 2006 Author Posted September 4, 2006 Thanks for your advice. I'm not one for clinging onto something that is not there as it takes two to tango. I will just hibernate for the 3 months, knuckle down with some hobby to distract me and just see how things pan out. Though the odds are against me, love can be the most unpredictable of emotions. Wish us luck.
bluechocolate Posted September 4, 2006 Posted September 4, 2006 I hope I didn't come across as too much doom & gloom. Here's I hoping things work out to your advantage.
Author darksoul Posted September 19, 2006 Author Posted September 19, 2006 Thanks! Just for an update. She moved out and now has a room share in a new house. We seperated on amicable terms and had a bit of a tearful goodbye. We both know that we need a bit of time (were now giving it 6 months) to sort out what we need. We will live seperate lives but see each other occasionally though I do not want to see her for the first month and I will also ensure that I won't go chasing her like a dog with a fire engine. Lets just hope that time can clear what we both know and need
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